Hey Peepers! There's someone wantin' to see you at the back door.
What do you MEAN you're not expectin' anybody? I wasn't expectin' anyone, either, but I still went to the door to see who was squawkin'. And since I wasn't expectin' anyone, when I saw this guy at the door, my first response was to tell him to get lost.
So I did.
What do you MEAN tellin' guys at the door to get lost is bein' rude? What do you mean? It's not like YOU'VE never told someone waitin' at the door to bugger off, you know. I've seen you do it. MORE THAN ONCE.
Although you probably used nicer words.
So anyway, Peepers, I told this guy to get lost, but he paid absolutely no attention to me. He's still out there waitin' for you.
AND HE'S NOT WEARIN' A MASK, EITHER, SO BE SURE TO KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!
Gotta look out for my peep.
Oh, and Peepers? Ummm... Uh, if he happens to complain 'bout my throwin' a shoe at him, pay no attention to that. That's nothin' but a lie, that is. Nothin' but a lie!
It was merely a slipper.
That reminds me; I must remember to ask Santa to bring Peepers a new pair of slippers for Christmas.
So um... What did he want?
I'll be right back.
A cat has gotta do everythin' himself, 'round here.
He's still there, all right. You must be goin' blind. Peepers, you need Santa to bring you a new pair of glasses, this year? I'm writin' my letter to him this week so if you like, I can tack that onto the list.
AHHH... That explains your not seein' him. Well, that and your general lack of observational skills. The guy is still standin' out there, Peepers, but he's not standin' on the mat. Come with me and I can point him out.
There, Peepers. There! The guy is standin' right there.
No, not there. THERE! Look up. Look way, way up. Well not so far up that you're lookin' into the sky. Just far enough up so that you're lookin' at the top of the fence. See? THERE!
Well yeah, that's the guy. That there big ol' crow is the guy who has been at the back door, squawkin' up a storm 'bout his needin' a word with you.
No, he didn't call you by name. But he sure as mouses wasn't wantin' to speak to me.
Least not after I threw that ol' shoe.
I MEAN, SLIPPER!
But all that aside, he's not wantin' to talk to me. He's wantin' to talk to you, Peepers. Like I said, he didn't call you by name but he did give a good description. The silly ol' sod who fills the bird feeders, is what he said. Oh, and something 'bout funny lookin' hair.
OBVIOUSLY, he's talkin' about you.
My fur is anythin' but funny.
So anyway, Peepers, apparently you forgot to put bird food out back, this mornin', and the birds are anythin' but pleased. In fact, that's why one of 'em is standin' out there at our back door wantin' to have a word in your ear.
Word... Talk... Squawk... Whatever.
So I suggest you go do something about that.
And maybe first run a comb through that hair?
Remember to mask up, too.