It's a good question, Peepers. It's a good question, for sure. And I am currently considerin' said question and formulatin' an answer in my mind.
Okay, Peepers, I believe I have an answer for you. Maybe...
Maybe he's just not all that into you.
Well for starters, Peepers, you've been callin' Saffron a girl for the past year when Saffron is actually a boy. You've even gone and given him a girls' name! That kinda thing sticks in a cat's mind, you know. Yup, sticks in there like pine tree sap on a cat's fur.
So what, you ask? So what?
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin'...
Actually, scratch that. I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE as to what you were thinkin', Peepers, when you went and gave my soon-to-be-brother a girls' name. My bet is you weren't thinkin' at all.
But that's beside the point, you ol' peep. Plus, I've blogged 'bout that before. My readers don't wanna be bored with my bloggin' about it even more.
But here's the thing: I know you give Saffy Saffron food and treats and all that, and I know you're gettin' frustrated with the fact that he - yes, HE - won't let you pick him up or pet him or anythin', but...
But like I said, MAYBE HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU, PEEP!
'Cause we cats are like that, sometimes! It takes time for peeps to gain our trust. And the longer we've been outdoors on our own, THE LONGER IT TAKES, for sure.
Did you ever consider...
Did you ever consider he just doesn't like the look of you?
Well have you SEEN the state of your hair in the mornings when you go out on the veranda to serve him his brekkies? HAVE you?
It's a tremendously scary sight, for sure.
A BEAR would run at the sight of you!
Oh yeah? Really? You gonna argue with me on this one, Peepers? REALLY?
Fine. You remember when you were out walkin' one evenin' a few months back, and you came across that big ol' black bear? Remember how close you were to that big ol' bear? Remember how that big ol' bear didn't attack you? Remember how he just stood there, KEEPIN' HIS DISTANCE from you? REMEMBER?
Well that would be on account of the state of your hair.
Didn't wanna get too close, I suspect, with your hair makin' you look all crazy and scary like that.
And another thing...
And another thing, Saffron and I have discussed this at great length and she - I mean, HE!
My mouses, she's even got ME callin' Saffy a girl.
As I was sayin', Saffy and I have discussed this at great length and he has told me, in no uncertain terms, that if you're wantin' him to let you get any closer, you're gonna have to cough up some more treats, AND...
AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUPPLY ME with more treats, too.
Twenty-five percent more, sounds fair.
What's that? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
Twenty-five percent is my fee. I've appointed myself as Saffron's agent. I get twenty-five percent of whatever he gets, you see.
Remember to mask up, too.
Well, this is obviously getting serious, Savvy. When the agents get involved, the negotiating starts!ReplyDelete
Yup, and the most important thing of all? THAT WE AGENTS GET OUR FAIR CUT. MOUSES!Delete
dood....we iz CRACKIN UP :) :) :)....ReplyDelete
& ya noe; if peeperz hair stylez could scare a bear.....
like for sure......her could make like that kinda hair stylez...inta a HAT.....and bee come a BAZILLIONAIRE for thoz who
feer de bear ~~~~~~~ think bout it ;) ♥♥
Oh. My. Mouses. MOUSES! WHAT AN AMAZIN' IDEA!!! And I could be PEEPERS agent, too. AND I COULD GET ANOTHER 25% CUT!!!Delete
Well, one of our "boy" ferals had 5 kittens so peeps everywhere are often clueless Seville. She got a new name and a spa day!ReplyDelete
Five kittens, huh? MOUSES! That's a lotta kittens for a "boy" kitty to have. purrsDelete
Those hair comments got under our mom’s skin. After she went searching for Sawyer in a big old briar and bramble patch, she had to cut off her waist-length hair to chin length. Not a good look. She thinks Sawyer didn’t recognize her when she rescued him and that’s why he clawed and bit her to shreds. Anyhoo…mouses. We hope Saffron relents and let’s Peepers ger near him. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, angel Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy, Sawyer & KizmetReplyDelete
Once, way back when, Peepers got a bunch of pine sap in her hair.Delete
THAT STUFF DOESN'T WASH OUT!
Twenty five percent seems fair. Peepers, for the love of Cod, comb your hair before feeding Saffy! Hahaha!ReplyDelete
I know, RIGHT? Right. I mean, Saffron is probably thinkin' Peepers is some kinda clown or freak. MOUSES!Delete
I agree about the treats. I am not a patient peep, I would have trapped him by now and made him a prisoner in my home. XOReplyDelete
Peepers is scared to scare him too much on account of us bein' allowed out in the garden and stuff. She's worried when he gets to go out, if too scared, he might not come back, BUT... But I'm tellin' ya, the sight of that hair of hers is the scariest thing on Earth so really and truly, she needs to do something 'bout that. MOUSES!Delete
Hree! Hee! Seville, you make me laugh! We know about outside cats that don't want peeps to touch them! I Marv was one of those. Even though I have been living with my Mom for 4 years and live inside (most of the time). I will NOT let Mom pick me up and I will only give her some love when I want! And what's wrong with the name Saffron...it could be a guys name and I bet Saffron comes to that name when your Mom has treats...(but then I would too if I lived near you),ReplyDelete
Saffron does come to his name now. His GIRS' name. Yup. And he knows the sound of the treat bag, for sure. MOUSES!Delete
Better beware the comments on Mom in the morning Seville the treat train may slow to a crawlReplyDelete
No can do. I have a contract. MOUSES!Delete
Hmmm, 25% sounds a bit steep for a new comer. Maybe ease the peep into the treat percentage slowly. Start at, say, 5% and then every month work it up to 50%. Saffy of course gets something similar on a proximety and endeavour basis. With any luck, and with careful planning between you and he, you can string this agenting percentage lark out for months, maybe even years!ReplyDelete
Toodle pisp and purrs
PS. I suggest you delete this email before you undertake such a task as I dont want your peep to get wind of it...
But... But... But...Delete
But the less Saffron gets, the MORE I NEED. Percentage-wise, I mean. I mean, 5% of just a little is teeny-tiny. I NEED MY TREATS!