*looks around to see if anyone is listening*
Oh for mousin' out loud, does no one care that I'm in here, sighin'?
I'm tellin' ya, used to be, way back when, a kitty let out a loud sigh and said kitty had peeps runnin' hither and thither and yon, wantin' to know what could be done to make said kitty happy again. But now?
Nope, still not workin'. Not a peep in sight, I'm afraid.
So here I am, stuck here with the peeps for another week. Another week. Another week! Yup, I've been stuck here with the peeps now for four hundred and eight million, two hundred and forty thousand cat seconds.
IT'S NO WONDER I'M SITTIN' IN HERE, SIGHIN'!
And what are the peeps doin' about it, you ask?
Well not much of anythin', I'm afraid.
Oh sure, Peepers gives me a bit of a break from her, by goin' out for groceries and a few errands now and then. I pray for long lineups at the grocery stores, my friends. I PRAY she'll be held up for a good few hours but alas, she always returns too soon.
Now don't get me wrong. I do want Peepers to return from her errands. Peepers knows how to open tins and things and that is important, for sure. But couldn't she take a little longer while out at the store?
The thing is, there's a fine line between havin' peeps hangin' around you far too much, and having 'em at your beck and call when they're required. One is absolutely necessary while the other is...
A pain in the tail, for sure.
I want my peeps there when I need 'em, at the snap of my claws.
When I NEED 'em, my friends. When they're NEEDED.
But the rest of the time?
The rest of the time, I WANT 'EM GONE!
Not too far away, of course, lest they not hear me when I call.
In days gone by, a kitty had peeps hoverin' about - NOT TOO CLOSE, mind you - just waitin' for said kitty to ask for a treat or a chin scritch or such. Just hoverin' - mostly out of view - givin' the kitty space. Not gettin' in the kitty's way. And CERTAINLY not bein' a pest.
Nowadays though, everywhere I turn - mostly when they're unneeded - there's a peep. And I don't understand, 'cause...
Well 'cause I would have thought that AT SOME POINT the peeps would have other stuff to do. But this peeps-bein'-home-and-pesterin'-me-all-the-time business is BAD business, for sure.
And then, when I actually DO need a peep to top up the kibble bowl, no matter how much and how loudly I sigh...
THERE'S NOT A PEEP TO BE SEEN, MY FRIENDS. NOT A SINGLE, SOLITARY PEEP!
Do you know what? DO you? Do you what I need?
What I need is a butler. Yup, I need to hire myself a butler, for sure.
And, it would be okay, I suppose, if he were a peep.
Or a penguin.
Penguins come with their own uniform, you see.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.
Remember to mask up, too.
Remember to mask up, too.