Hey ho, Sivvers the Cat here, reportin' from beautiful, sunny Nova Scotia...
Mouses, it is Nova Scotia, all right. Beautiful, too, on account of Nova Scotia bein' a beautiful province and all, but...
BUT IT'S AS HOT AS HADES OUT THERE, FOR SURE.
Muggy, too. Feels like the whole yard is one big ol' giant sauna.
And yet here I am, reportin' in just as I do twice weekly, EVERY week.
'Cause that's the kinda responsible cat I am.
Unfortunately there's not much to say today, 'cept that it has now been sixty-four weeks that I've had these two useless peeps of mine on my paws all day, every day, due to this ol' pandemic thingy. Sixty-four weeks, my friends. SIXTY-FOUR WEEKS!
And that's three hundred and forty-eight million, three hundred and sixty-four thousand, eight hundred cat seconds, doncha know.
So here I am, stuck at home with the peeps - STILL - and it's hot and muggy outside.
Talk 'bout a predicament, for sure.
Well... Well you know how kitties can get cranky when it's all hot and muggy outside?
Well apparently peeps can, too.
Why just yesterday...
Just yesterday, I was bein' my normal sweet-as-sugar, respectful and mindful of peeps self, when...
WHEN PEEPERS SNAPPED AT ME, SHE DID.
Can you believe it?
All I said was that she should consider startin' to wear makeup again now that we're seein' the end of the pandemic comin' near. Like maybe sometime in the fall. I even went and got Peepers the tube of foundation and concealer she needs from upstairs!
You know, to encourage her to conceal her face and all, and...
AND LIKE I SAID, SHE SNAPPED AT ME, SHE DID.
Now I ask you, what is wrong with a kitty suggestin' to his peep that she start puttin' on makeup once more, makin' herself look a bit more respectable so that said kitty isn't embarrassed if one of his pals comes to the door and sees a makeupless peep?
It was a good suggestion, I made. But what did I get?
Nothin' but grief.
So now I'm wonderin'...
Now I'm wonderin', since ol' Peepers seems to be all cranky and foul-mouthed on account of this hot and humid weather we're havin'...
AM I GONNA HAVE TO WAIT 'TIL THE WEATHER COOLS DOWN BEFORE I GIVE HER ALL MY OTHER SUGGESTIONS 'BOUT WHAT SHE SHOULD DO TO IMPROVE HER APPEARANCE?
"Cause you know, I DON'T WANNA be snapped at again.
And my list of suggestions for her IS pretty long.
SO SHE'S GONNA NEED TO START WORKIN' ON THOSE SUGGESTED IMPROVEMENTS NOW IF SHE'S HOPIN' TO BE DECENT AND PRESENTABLE AND NOT EMBARRASSING TO ME WHEN THIS OL' PANDEMIC FINALLY COMES TO AN END.
'Cause like I said, my list is really, REALLY long.
Remember to mask up, too.