Hey ho, Sivvers the Cat here, bringin' you the latest news from sunny Nova Scotia.
Okay, so it's not actually sunny, but it IS Nova Scotia.
But I'm not here to report on the weather, my friends. No sirree. At least not today.
TODAY I'M HERE TO REPORT on the status of the peep. Peepers. Numero uno peeperseruno.
So the thing is, I've been studyin' Peepers for some time now. Bein' stuck here with her as I am, there's not much else to do, so I figured I may as well try to figure her out.
Well as it so happens, figurin' ol' Peepers out is a whole lot harder to do than you'd think. I mean...
I mean, Peep #1 is unfigureable, for sure.
Why just the other day...
Just the other day - yesterday, to be exact - she made somethin' called lemon curd.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', when life gives you lemons, you're supposed to make lemonade. But Peepers, bein' the radical, rule-breakin' peep that she is, decided to make lemon curd, instead.
But here's the thing: lemon curd is made with lemons - well obviously, since she was makin' it with those lemons life gave her - and in case you didn't know, cats hate the smell of lemons. And as a cat, myself, I HATE the smell of lemons, for sure. AND...
AND NOW THE WHOLE ENTIRE KITCHEN REEKS OF THE THINGS!
It's true. It was bad enough when she was actually workin' with those darned lemons last night, and the stench of 'em was fillin' the air with... Well... LEMONY STINK. But now...
But now, as of this mornin', it appears the stench of the lemons has managed to permeate every nook and cranny in the kitchen and family room. Even the chesterfield stinks of the things!
It's true! A kitty goes to lay his cute little head on a chesterfield cushion and what does a kitty get?
A NOSE FULL OF STINK.
So what I can't figure out is this: Why oh why would any reasonable, sane person want to stink up an entire house like that? WHY?
The only thing I can think of is that Peepers is neither reasonable nor sane. She must be...
A stupid peep.
A stupid, ridiculous peep who has no sense of smell and is lackin' in good taste.
I CAN'T FIGURE HER OUT!
However, as important as it may be, figurin' out the unfigureable peep is not my primary concern, at the mo. My primary concern is...
HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS AWFUL, DISTASTEFUL, HORRENDOUS LEMONY STINK?
Seriously, my nose can't take much more of it.
Remember to mask up, too.