FIFTY. SEVEN. WEEKS.
Or in OTHER words...
Three hundred and ten million, two hundred and sixty-two thousand, four hundred seconds.
Cat seconds, that is.
And durin' these past fifty-seven weeks, I've come to some conclusions. Yup, I sure have. Conclusions like...
Like in all honesty, other than havin' a couple stupid peeps on my paws twenty-four seven, my life isn't all that different today than it was in pre-pandemic times. I've always been a stay-at-home kinda guy, you see, so really, for me...
For me, life is actually very much the same.
'Cept for havin' those peeps on my paws all the time, of course, and HONESTLY, that IS a bit of an imposition.
Do you know what happens when peeps are stuck at home every day, all day long?
Scratch that, I should be askin' if you know what happens when STUPID peeps are stuck at home every day, all day long.
Oh sure, there are some peeps out there who are probably doin' really useful things while spendin' all this time at home. Writin' symphonies and novels, paintin' walls and other home renovations, learnin' new languages...
You know, that sorta thing.
But MY peeps, however, are doin' NOTHIN' useful at all. This past year of "STAYIN' THE BLAZES HOME" has been TOTALLY WASTED on them, for sure. All they do is...
BOTHER US CATS.
They're constantly cuddlin' and kissin' me, not to mention other forms of molestation like ticklin' my chin...
Okay, so I actually like the chin tickles. But kissin' and cuddlin'? That just gives me the heebie jeebies, for sure.
YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY GERMS PEEPS CAN HAVE?
I'll give you a hint: WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF A PANDEMIC AND IT'S NOT CATS SPREADIN' COVID-19.
So I'm thinkin'...
I'm thinkin' that durin' the next few months, I'm gonna have to take matters into my own four paws. Yup, I'm gonna have to be doin' less nappin' and nippin' and otherwise normal feline activities, and more...
MORE FORMULATIN' A SET OF RULES - LAWS! - PROHIBITIN' PEEPS FROM CUDDLIN' AND KISSIN' CATS DURIN' PANDEMIC SEASON.
Except when we actually WANT to be cuddled and kissed, of course.
'Cause that's totally different, that is.
'Nough with the kisses, Peepers! 'NOUGH WITH THE KISSES!!! Did you wash those grubby paws of yours before pickin' me up? DID you? And where's your mask? FOR MOUSIN' OUT LOUD, HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF SOCIAL DISTANCIN'?
Remember to mask up, too.