Dum de dum de dum de dum...
No, Peepers, I'm NOT singin' the song of your people.
Although if the paw fits...
DUM DE DUM DE DUM DE DUM...
What's this, now? I've never seen that before.
*sniff sniff, sniff sniff sniff sniff*
Never SNIFFED it before, either.
HEY PEEPERS! Get your butt out here, would ya? Take a look at that.
Well I don't KNOW who left it there, do I? If I did, I wouldn't have called you out here to take a peek.
Peepers, you think it could have been left by aliens or somethin' like that?
There have been no recent alien sightings, you say.
Well do you think it could have been left by... I don't know, maybe one of the neighbours? The ones who live in that there house *points with tail* are kinda sketchy, you know.
Scratch that. No one has been around here, as of late. You know, with social distancin' and whatnot and...
I KNOW! I bet it was the Easter Bunny on Sunday. He might...
Nah, the Easter Bunny's poopies aren't that big.
I don't think.
No, Peepers, I do NOT think it was left by a mouse. At least it had better NOT have been left by a mouse 'cause let me tell you somethin': the day I meet a mouse big enough to leave droppings that size, is the day that I, Seville the Cat, am gonna have to start showin' a whole lot more respect toward mice.
Peepers, it wasn't YOU, was it? Were you outside in the garden yesterday and unable to make it indoors in time? 'Cause if it were you, there's no reason to be ashamed.
Well actually there is, but that's not the way to elicit a confession.
What? I binge watch The Closer, you know.
So if it were you...
Okay, okay... There's no reason to yell.
So if it wasn't you, nor the Easter Bunny, mice, neighbours, nor aliens...
AND IT WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT ME.
I don't think.
*shakes head* NO, definitely not me. I am a dignified cat. I always use the litter box. Plus, I cover up my... You know... Stuff.
"WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
Remember to mask up, too.