Sunday 28 March 2021

fifty-four weeks


We had boomies.


In March.


MOUSES!


And did I happen to mention I live up here in Canada?


MOUSES!


That's right, my friends.  Friday night, March 26th, we had the booomiest of all boomies in the mother of BIG BOOMIE BOOM STORMS.


Not what you expect up in The Great White North, in March.


MOUSES!


As you may recall, ol' Mother Nature arrived at my house a week ago, today, and she stuck around until Friday afternoon, but then...


But then she and I got into a fight.  It wasn't a bad fight, mind you, but a fight it was, nonetheless.  I was tellin' her that not only did she need to wash her paws frequently due to Nova Scotia's Public Health directives, directin' peeps to do said very thing, but she also needed to wash her paws after usin' the litter box.  Well she said she didn't use the "stinkin' ol' litter box" and if she had, she would have washed her paws without bein' told.


Then she reminded me how she didn't have paws, on account of her not bein' a cat, which offended me to no end 'cause she said it like IF SHE WERE a cat - like she should be so lucky - it would make her somehow inferior.


So then I catsplained some stuff to her.


And then...


Well then she went off in a huff.  LITERALLY.  She left huffin' and puffin' and slammin' doors all the way out.


Thus, the boomies.


MOUSES!


Now bein' a cat, I'm not a big fan of the boomies, you see, which means...


MOTHER NATURE AND I ARE NO LONGER SPEAKIN'.


MOUSES!


So here I am, once again, cooped up in the house with only the peeps for company, just as I have been for the past two hundred and ninety-three million, nine hundred and thirty-two thousand, eight hundred cat seconds of this ol' pandemic thing.  PLUS, when ol' Mother Nature left, she took spring with her, so it's all cold and icky outside, AGAIN.  PLUS, there are no sunpuddles.  She left only the wet, watery kind.  AND PLUS...


Plus I'm crabby as all get out.


But don't tell Mother Nature I'm sulkin', okay?  I don't want her thinkin' she won.


Nothin' worse than a Mother Nature who gloats.


And maybe - JUST MAYBE - if I stop callin' her OL' Mother Nature, she'll be willin' to return.


I know!  *snaps claws*  I'll send her a big huge package of nicely scented soaps.  The fancy kind peeps like to put in guest and half bathrooms and things.  You know, SO SHE CAN START WASHIN' HER PAWS after usin' the litter box, and stuff.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.


6 comments:

  1. Mother Nature sure has been mean to many of our neighbors to the north and south of us Seville.

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  2. Mother Nature is fickle, and will probably change her mind and mood soon, Sivvers. She seems a bit bipolar when it comes to stuff here!

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  3. Wow, sounds like Mother Nature got a bit feral there.

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  4. Mother Nature is a little confused lately.

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  5. I say, Seville, you dont want to go giving your guests 'half bathrooms', why they'll get the hump that you think they are only half worth it! Why, that would be like giving them the tail end of a mouse! All or nothing is Mrs H's moto. On the other hand, maybe it was the peep that said something and not your good feline self? Maybe the peep left knitting needles on the sofa and MN skewered themselves, hence the yells of pain! OR maybe MN is annoyed that everyone considers them to be gendered? Maybe they are non-binary! I heard OFT was upset so much they went on strike for an hour twice a year in protest!
    Purrs
    ERin

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  6. Seville you should be nice to Mother Nature up where you are maybe she will bring spring around and some fun mice

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.