*furiously types an even ruder response*
TAKE THAT, YOU LILY-LIVERED, WART-INFESTED, ROTTEN FISH BREATH STINKIN' TROLL.
*sits back with satisfaction and waits for a reply*
You ever notice? You ever notice, my friends, how some peeps out there have nothin' better to do than troll around on social media makin' rude and ugly comments, and...
WHA??? What the mouses? He said WHAT??? Well I'll show him. I'll tell him where to go. I'll...
I'll tell him his mama wears combat boots. NO, I'LL TELL HIM his mama WOULD wear combat boots if her mug wasn't as ugly as his, and...
No, that's mean. That's mean for his mama, I mean. Besides, I have no idea what she looks like. His mama might be the most beautiful woman on earth for all I know.
On the other paw...
On the other paw, she might, in fact, look exactly like him.
I shall be the bigger cat, and I shall leave his mama out of this debate.
Debate? More like WAR.
LISTEN HERE, YOU FLEA-INFESTED SCUMBAG OF THE SLIMIEST SCUM THAT EVER OOZED OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THAT OL' PRIMORDIAL ROCK, YOU MAKE ONE MORE COMMENT LIKE THAT LAST ONE, AND I'M GONNA MAKE YOU REGRET EVER LEARNIN' HOW TO TYPE.
Peeps. They think they're a match for a cat.
What's this now? *jaw drops* He's callin' my peep - MY PEEPERS - A WHAT? Of all the nerve. I left his mama out of my comments. The least he can do is leave out my peep.
Although he is kinda right about the peep's hair.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. The point is, this fight is between me and him, and he has no business insultin' my peep.
Even if her hair does sometimes look like she went and stuck her finger in an electrical outlet.
"Seville, what are you doing with my Facebook account?"
Defendin' your honour, Peepers. You can thank me later.
What's he sayin' now? Is he still trollin' around insultin' my peep?
Looks like he's given up for a bit. Must have realised he was no match for me, Seville the Cat, THE KEYBOARD WARRIOR OF THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY.
"Seville! Remove that picture right now. It's disgusting!"
But I... I was just... I was just catsplainin' to this idiot how things actually work in this world, and how he's as stupid as the mother of all stupid rocks. He's not very bright, you see, and he needs the added visual aids. THUS, the picture of what I left in the ol' litter box this mornin', after eatin' that brick of stinky ol' cheese.
"So you're in an on-line fight with a troll."
"Using MY Facebook account?"
"And exactly what makes your behaviour any different from that of the troll? Why is he a troll but you're not, even though you're BOTH behaving in the very same manner?"
*rolls eyes* Because I'm a cat, Peepers. Cats can't be trolls. FACT. Plus...
Plus, look what he wrote about you, right here. See how he described your....
from turning to stone after looking at my face? And then he said I...??? SHOVE OVER, SEVILLE. Your peep has some typing to do."
*grins from ear to ear*
Welcome to the dark side, my peep.
Remember to mask up, too.
Oooh! Sounds like things are hotting up in NS! Hmm, hang on a mo, how does that troll know what your peep looks like, huh? Do you have a mole in the camp, metaphorically speaking. Of course if that troll is a mole, then you, Seville, can sort her/him, said trollmole, out come night time when they pop their head out of the ground *chuckles wikedly and mischieviously* 😉ReplyDelete
Good question! Not quite sure how he knows what Peepers looks like. Bet he actually doesn't. I bet he was just guessing 'bout her hair lookin' like it does. After all, Nova Scotia DOES have humid summers. MOUSES!Delete
:-) I loved that!ReplyDelete
Hey there Katie! I'm really glad you enjoyed the post. PURRSDelete
It's way too difficult to argue with idiots Seville, we just delete them to the litter box!ReplyDelete
Now when you say you delete 'em to your litter box, do you mean you actually put 'em IN your litter box? Don't they stink the box up? Inquirin' minds wanna know. MOUSES!Delete
Make love, not war, Seville!ReplyDelete
But... But... But... BUT WHAT IF I WANNA DO BOTH?Delete
Good for you, Seville, for stickin up for your Peep!! I know she gets on your nerves sometimes, but you gotta have her back when some troll trolls her just to be a meanie weenie!!ReplyDelete
Yup, a kitty has gotta do what a kitty has gotta do.Delete
(Even if Peepers does get on my nerves. Every single one of 'em. MOUSES!)
Way to recruit your Peep into the battle, Sivvers!ReplyDelete
I know, RIGHT? It was my plan all along. MOUSES!Delete
Don't feed the trolls! On the other hand however, there's nothing better than a good troll fight. Hahaha!ReplyDelete
I know I'm not supposed to feed 'em, but... But it's like they're BEGGIN' to be fed. MOUSES!Delete
Seville, that was furry gallant of you to defend your Peep's honour like that! We hope she truly appurreciates it.ReplyDelete
She doesn't appear to be overly appreciative, but that's a peep for you, isn't it. MOUSES!Delete
Did you or your mom have a troll? It's been several years since we did. They love to shock kitties.ReplyDelete
Yeah, kinda. He's a troll, all right. He trolls around insultin' my pal Bob on a daily basis. It's disgustin'. MOUSES! As for him trollin' me and the peep? Well... Well I might have had somethin' to do with that. Hehehehe... Had to be done. MOUSES!!!Delete
Bad bad bad, troll. I think you should tell it to go back under the bridge where it came from, Severs. Tee hee hee.ReplyDelete
Believe me, I did, my friend. I did! And I told him what to do while there, too. MOUSES!Delete
Oh my! I think you should both just ignore the troll.ReplyDelete
It's hard, though. Ignorin' the troll, I mean. You know, on account of him bein' such a... A... A TROLL. MOUSES!Delete
Dad learned way back before social media that arguing on line is a waste of time and energy. The best response is "Thanks for your intriguing insights into the mind!" or "Thanks!" I mean let them expend the energy and move onto being constructive.ReplyDelete
Yeah, if only I could just turn 'round and pee on him. THAT would teach him a lesson, for sure. Good dose of cat pee ends an argument in my favour ever time. Believe me, I know. MOUSES!Delete
Yay Seville! Very good job! Those trolls are annoying!ReplyDelete
THAT they are. MOUSES!Delete
The nerve of some people!ReplyDelete
My goodness, Seville!
I am surprised you were able to stay so civil!