VERY BAH HUMBUG TO YOU, TOO.
For mousin' out loud, I've been on the phone all mornin' with the feds, tryin' to get Santa an exemption for travel due to pandemic restrictions and whatnot on Christmas Eve, and..
AND YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW RUDE THOSE FEDS CAN BE!
As if I didn't already have enough on my paws, havin' to be cooped up in this here house with Peepers for the past two hundred and six MILLION, eight hundred and forty-one thousand, six hundred cat seconds - which I can assure you, my friends, is an ETERNITY, for sure -
... And then I'm expected to put up with cheek from the feds, too?
Well have no fear, my friends, I'm gonna take names and kick tail.
Or should that be kick tail and take names?
And I'll tell you what ELSE I'll do. I'm gonna take my very long list of those uncooperative federal authorities, and give it to Santa. And HE'S gonna put all their names on his naughty list, for sure.
Now back to those annoyin' feds.
After speakin' to like three hundred and twenty-one of 'em, one of whom was actually a janitor someone passed the phone to on account of said someone not wantin' to talk to me...
And let me tell you, the janitor was the nicest one of the bunch. He even gave me some pointers to give to Peepers for keepin' my little boys' box spiffy clean. Real thoughtful guy, he was. Real thoughtful, for sure.
... I FINALLY got the information I needed. Apparently, Santa IS Canadian (thus, the red suit) and lives at the North Pole, which is IN Canada (for all who are geographically uninclined), and therefore doesn't need a travel exemption at all!
Least not from the feds.
Like one of the FIRST three hundred and twenty federal peeps with whom I spoke couldn't have told me that.
And I'm STILL givin' their names to Santa.
So anyway, Santa doesn't need a travel exemption from Ottawa.
... But to get into ATLANTIC Canada, he does.
So now I've gotta call Premier McNeil and Dr Strang, in Halifax.
Paws crossed this works out. I JUST KNOW Santa's gonna wanna visit me on the 24th. But if I can't get him an exemption, he'll have to quarantine with us for fourteen days which to tell you the truth, wouldn't be so bad. I mean, instead of the twelve days of Christmas, we could do the FOURTEEN days of Christmas, and he could give me prezzies on each and every one, but...
But I have no idea where the reindeer will bunk. I don't think we have enough rooms.
And anyone know if reindeer eat kibble?
Askin' for a friend.
Remember to mask up, too.