Thursday 10 September 2020

*sniff sniff*

Stand still there, Peepers, and gimme your paw.

Your hand, Peepers.  Gimme your HAND!

Of all the stupid peeps.

MOUSES!

*sniff sniff, sniff sniff sniff*

Hmmm...

White and grey tabby.  Female.

*sniff sniff*

Smells like Misty.  You met Misty while out on your walk, Peepers?  Her fur's not long, but it is kinda fluffy.  She's a very pretty ladycat.  Yup, very pretty, indeed.  Is that who you met?

Well at least I think that pretty grey and white ladycat's name is Misty.  I asked her, once, and that's what she told me.  Although I also asked for her phone number, and...

Well...

Well let's just say, I don't think Misty lives at the pound.

MOUSES!

Gimme your paw...  I mean, HAND, again.  

*sniff sniff sniff*

Black dog.  Male.  Don't know his name.  Don't care to know, either.

MOUSES!

Now gimme your other paw.

*sniff sniff sniff*

I smell skunk.

I didn't say you smelled like a skunk, Peepers.  I said, I smelled skunk.

Get a grip, woman.

MOUSES!

Peepers, have you been out on the streets, cavortin' with skunks?

MOUSES!

And speakin' of mouses...

I mean, mice.

*sniff sniff sniff*

Nope, I don't smell any mice.

And that's a relief, for sure.

But back to this skunk.

So how come you were interactin' with a skunky while out walkin', Peepers?  Did you forget 'bout social distancin' and stuff?  And FYI, social distancin' with skunks is a VERY WISE thing to do.

MOUSES!

And regardin' this skunk; did you ask him his name?  Did you ask for his rank and serial number, too?  And is this a feral skunk, or does he live with peeps, and...

BUT DON'T YOU GET ANY IDEAS, PEEPERS.  Skunks are nice, I guess, but not nice enough to have as roommates.

MOUSES!

Tell me, Peepers.  What exactly do you know 'bout this new skunk friend of yours?  Details, please.

HE LOOKED LIKE A SKUNK?

Of all the stupid, unobservant peeps.

Peepers, you do realise that as a peep, you are clearly the inferior species.  Your olfactory skills kinda...

Well...

Suck.

I mean, I, Seville the Cat, can sniff your paw and identify each and every critter you met while you were out walkin', and all you can tell me 'bout those critters is that one of 'em looked like a skunk.

Pathetic, that is.

*shakes head with pity*

MOUSES!


Okay Peepers, now gimme your shoe.  I wanna know exactly where you walked.

Yeah, I CAN trace your steps just by sniffin' your shoes.  Just because YOU'RE an olfactory incompetent nincompoop doesn't mean I am, too.  I, Seville the Cat, sniff SO MUCH BETTER than you.

By the way, I smell better, too.

MOUSES!



***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to MASK UP, too.


6 comments:

  1. You're a terrific sniffin' detective Seville!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seriously, Seville...she was around a skunk? I know she didn't pet it, but hokey smokes...

    ReplyDelete
  3. deer cod dood we hope peeperz dinna meet up with skunkz !!!! WHOA & tripull WHOA if de skunk leeved a "callin card" ya noe !! ☺☺♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  4. Severs, I agree -- humans sure lack on the olfactory department. I have a short nose, but I can still detect odors on Mom that she could never begin to. Tee hee hee.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Whoa, Seville, Peepers sure is out and about with some shady characters. What is going on at your place my friend? You need to get things back in order fur-sure

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maybe it was a tuxie cat and not a skunk-we thought Emmy was a skunk when she showed up.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.