Sunday 19 July 2020

eighteen weeks

So for like the past ninety-seven million, nine hundred and seventy-seven thousand, six hundred seconds in cat time, I've been stuck with the peeps' presence day in and day out, and it has literally been drivin' me crazy.

MOUSES!

Literally.  Yes, that's what I said.  LITERALLY.

MOUSES!


But then last Thursday...

Last Thursday, THEY LEFT ME ALL ALONE.

ALL ALONE!

ALL. DAY. LONG.

Can you believe it?

MOUSES!

That's right folks, for about two hundred and fifty-nine thousand and two hundred cat seconds, I WAS LEFT ALL BY MYSELF, ALL ALONE.

Now some of you might be thinkin' that's a good thing.  Come to think of it, there was a time not all that long ago that I, myself, might have thought havin' the peeps out of my fur for most of the day was a good thing, too, but...

But it turns out, bein' left home alone for hours and hours on end is not all it's cracked up to be.

MOUSES!

And why is bein' left home alone all day not all it's cracked up to be, you ask?

Well I'll tell you why.  I'll tell you why right now.

For starters, I had no one waitin' on me paw and paw.  No one tendin' to my daily needs.  No one...

NO ONE TO COMPLAIN TO AT ALL.

And I had plenty of complainin' to do, for sure.  My water dish was not filled hourly with cold water.  My food dishes were not replenished after each bite.  Why...

WHY AT ONE POINT, MY BOWL OF KIBBLE WAS HALF EMPTY.

MOUSES!

And then there was the issue with the door.

I am a cat who NEEDS an automatic door, you see.  You know the kind.  The kind that open right up whenever I want.

Now in the past, the doors to the house have been on a kinda manual automatic system.  The peeps have to open 'em manually, but they do so automatically when I desire.

The system works.

Pretty much.

MOUSES!

But on Thursday, with no peeps around to open the door when I wanted it opened...

I HAD TO SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY IN THE HOUSE.

MOUSES!

And this, my friends, is unacceptable.  This kinda behaviour by the peeps will simply not do.  This is verging on negligence of the most horrible kind.  This...

THIS IS WHAT NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF, FOR SURE!

Are you sittin' down out there, my pals?  You need to sit down before I tell you the worst of what happened that day.

When they got home...

When they got home...

WHEN THEY GOT HOME...

THEY KISSED ME AND CUDDLED ME AND PRACTICALLY SMOTHERED ME TO DEATH.

Yuck.

Icky.

It was disgusting, my friends.

Odds are they gave me their peep germs, for sure.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

And remember to mask up, too.




12 comments:

  1. Dang Seville, you've sure had it rough lately!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Can't deal with them being at home, can't deal with them NOT being home. What can you do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure but when I figure it out, I'll let you know. There must be SOMETHIN' a kitty can do. MOUSES!

      Delete
  3. You poor kitty, they could have worked you up to it by leaving for 6 hours then more the next week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And they could have let me know beforepaw. Or maybe hired in a butler or somethin' like that? MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. A half empty bowl?? The horrors!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was awful, my pals. AWFUL! I'm lucky I survived. MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. Your peeps have a lot of nerve, Seville!
    On their next performance review, you'd better put the hammer down!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Half EMPTY. * shicked ears * This is unbelievable!

    You need to have a word with them Seville!

    ReplyDelete
  7. MORE THAN ONE word, I should think. Darn thing is half-empty again. MOUSES!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.