Sunday 19 April 2020

five weeks

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', that there Seville the Cat is gonna start complaining 'bout how his peeps have been home for five, L-O-N-G weeks.  And then he's gonna start calculatin' how many seconds are in said five, L-O-N-G weeks.  Calculatin' it in cat time. that is.

And you know what?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

MOUSES!

For the last five weeks - that's twenty-seven million, two hundred and sixteen thousand cat seconds, my friends - the peeps have been at home botherin' me and pesterin' me and makin' a general nuisance of themselves.

Why just the other day...

Just the other day, Peep #1 picked me up and hugged me for no good reason.

MOUSES!

This stayin' at home business all day, every day, is for the birds.

Scratch that.  It's not for the birds at all, on account of the birdies flittin' here and there, back and forth between my veranda and the trees and things, and their nests.

Birdies be birds.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of mousies...

I've seen nary a one.  Birds, chippies, and squirrels are everywhere but there are absolutely no mice to be found.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, these past five weeks have been rough.

But even though the peeps' annoyingly oppressive presence has been drivin' me BATTY, a couple nice things did happen this past week.

A week ago today, the family across the street left a bag at the front door with Easter treats and a lovely paw-made card.  The treats, unfortunately, weren't to my likin', - you know, on account of my bein' a cat - but the peeps ate 'em right up.

Why-oh-why peeps don't give each other tins of flaked tuna and salmon feast, I'll never understand, but you know...

Peeps be peeps.

MOUSES!

Then yesterday, Peep #1 went outside and found that the leaf fairy had left five whole bags of leaves on the driveway for her to use in the garden.  Peepers was super surprised and pleased.  I, on the other paw...

Well I was left wonderin' how come nobody left me any tins of Fancy Feast.

MOUSES!

And while we're on the topic of Fancy Feast...

Please note: I don't like duck or any of the marinated varieties, but if you're wantin' to help a sweet little marmalade kitty - who has never done anyone any harm - out...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

What do you MEAN I don't need any Fancy Feast?  What do you MEAN I shouldn't be askin' my pals to send me some?  What do you MEAN I already have several trays of the tins?

SERIOUSLY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Wait a minute.  Really?  You mean there are tins of the fanciest of the feasts sittin' in my kitchen right now?

THEN DISH ME UP SOME, WOMAN, AND DISH ME UP SOME OF THAT THERE FEAST NOW.

Boy-oh-boy it's hard to get good help these days.  Always has been, but it's even harder, now.

You know, on account of this here plague.

MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!



18 comments:

  1. Seville, we think it's very brave of you to put up with all of your peeps' nonsense!
    At least here at Eastside Cats, I can spread my silliness out to four cats!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your kitties are so lucky. I have to take the full brunt of all the peeps' nonsense all by myself. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. You, Seville, need a vacation for sure!
    Purrhaps even time travel?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... I DO need a vacation from the peeps. MOUSES!

      Delete
  3. Who would have thought that peeps could get any weirder Seville?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think a lot of cats are tired of their peeps being home 24/7.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's only so much "peep time" we cats can take, you know? purrs

      Delete
  5. So many kitties, all over the world, have been wishing their Peeps would spend more time at home, ministering to their needs. Well, now We all know the truth of the old saying: be careful what you wish for!
    MOUSES!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell me about it. No, wait, you don't need to tell me. I'M LIVIN' THROUGH THE HORROR RIGHT NOW! purrs

      Delete
  6. That's nice that some presents were left for your human, Seville... but seriously, what about the kitty? How come YOU were forgotten about?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, right? Hmmm.. You think I should call 'em up and ask if they might have forgotten to pop a tin of FF in that bag my mistake? Inquirin' minds wanna know. purrs

      Delete
  7. Dear Seville, I am writing to inform yoo that the chippies yoo are missing may be vacationing at my house. Yesterday I was minding my own bizness while enjoying the view of my front lawn, when suddenly a chippy scampered onto my fwont porch. I was so suprised because we never see chippies at all. So there he was, until Mom came to see what I was looking at, and of course the chippy ran away. Only he run around the side of the house onto the back porch and scampered onto the screen door, like he wanted to come inside. We all found this to be very exciting. Which tells yoo a lot about how bored my pawrents are right now. So happy to know yoo have a good supply of Fancy Feast! Purrs, Dori

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Were the chippies carryin' Canadian passports? If so, they would DEFINITELY be from here. And if not passports, maybe a little chippy-sized Canadian flag? purrs

      Delete
  8. Seville, we've been very busy keeping our mom in line. It's exhausting work.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You have a secret stash, secret from you? My, how'd that happen, Seville?
    Purrs
    ERin
    PS Maybe the leaf fairy could introduce the Feast Fairy to your staff?They're bound to know each other; go to the same joints in town ;)

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.