Okay, so yeah, you have a point there. I HAVE told you that on many occasions, but uh...
HEY PEEPERS! Anyone other than me ever tell you, you stink?
Well do your friends not have noses? Maybe they've all gone and lost their sense of smell? Forgot where they put it or somethin' like that?
Well you don't have to be like that about it. Jeez.
Peepers, I know that during this pandemic, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Premier Stephen McNeil have been sayin' peeps should stay at home as much as they can - and I TOTALLY agree - but they DID NOT SAY you should let yourself go.
Oh yeah? Well tell me this then, Peepers: When was the last time you had a shower? Huh? HUH? When, I ask. WHEN?
This mornin', you say?
Then how come you stink?
You do too stink, Peepers. You smell like...
Yeah, well I'm a cat, and cats think gardenias stink.
And don't get us started on roses.
And what's more...
*sniff sniff sniff, sniff sniff sniff sniff*
Aw MOUSES, Peepers. I don't know what kinda gardenia stinkin' concoction you showered in, but now my furs smell of it, too. Social distancin', Peepers. SOCIAL DISTANCIN'! You're supposed to be keepin' six paws away from me at all times but OH NO, you had to go give me a cuddle, didn't you. You had to go give me a cuddle and get your stink all over me. You had to....
Now that I think about it, Peepers, I think YOU SHOULD let yourself go. If you're gonna be stayin' at home 24-7, why bother showering at all? Why not skip the showers and hair washin' completely, savin' kitties like me from gettin' covered in your stinky ol' stink?
Imagine showering in gardenias.
The stupidity of it all!
PEEPERS, YOU STINK.
AND REMEMBER, PEEPS:
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.