Wednesday, 12 February 2020
how do I love thee?
Now let's see...
Oh, I know! Let me count the ways.
Okay, so that doesn't help. I appear to be back where I started.
Actually, I appear to be worse off than when I started. Countin' the ways doesn't help me at all!
I got nothin'.
Hey Peepers! I'm tryin' to come up with a Valentine's Day card or a letter or somethin' for you, and I appear to be havin' some difficulties. The thing is, I can't think of any reasons why I love you. Can you think of somethin' I might be able to write?
Well you don't have be like that.
For mousin' out loud, a kitty asks a peep why said kitty might love said peep - ON ACCOUNT OF SAID KITTY TRYIN' TO WRITE A REALLY SWEET AND THOUGHTFUL NOTE for a Valentine's Day card - and what does a kitty get?
NOTHIN' BUT CHEEK.
Not to mention a look like she swallowed a lemon.
HEY PEEPERS! If you won't help me with this here card, you probably won't get anythin' for Valentine's Day. It's not like there are kitties lining up at the door just waitin' to...
Hold that thought.
Nope, there are no kitties linin' up at the door waitin' to give you Valentine's Day cards. I double-checked and everythin'.
So let's get back to business, shall we? I was tryin' to figure out what you do for me, and I was thinkin' about the food that you give me, not to mention the treats. And then there are my nip plants you water, when they need waterin'. And the nip toys you make every now and then. And the chin tickles! I do really like those. I like the behind the ear scritches, too. Those are all reasons I might love you.
But then I realised how as a responsible cat parent, you have to do all that stuff anyway. You know?
PLUS, you do a lot of stuff that annoys me to no end, which kinda counteracts the stuff you do to make me happy. You know what I'm talkin' about. Doctor appointments, flea dabs, general complaints 'bout my fur gettin' all over your clothes when I sleep on 'em after bein' laundered... That sort of thing.
AND FYI, it's not MY fault your black jacket is forever covered in orange fur. Not my fault the dry cleaner gave up the ghost and took an early retirement after tacklin' that jacket, either. You should learn to leave your jackets on hangers in closets I CAN'T get into, Peepers. Not to mention on hangers high enough I can't bring 'em down if I jump real high and hold on.
So anyway, I was tryin' to come up with somethin' extra special you do for me that might make me love you. That's the kinda thing I wanna put in this here card, you see. The EXTRA SPECIAL stuff that you do.
And you know what?
I got nothin'. Nothin' at all.
You know, Peepers, there are peeps out there who go the extra mile for their cats. Peeps out there who really go all out to keep their kitties happy. Peeps who order in raw meat and subscribe to Animal Planet and stuff.
You think you could start bein' a peep like that?
Oh, and if you do - BY FRIDAY - you'll get an extra special Valentine's Day card from me. 'Cause the thing is Peepers, I REALLY DO LOVE YOU.
Although for the nine lives of me, I can't figure out why.
And FYI, Peepers, if you happen to find a heart-shaped box of nip leaf wrapped cod liver oil pills, THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU. I understand there's a new ladycat a couple streets over, and I wanna make a good impression when I go callin', you see.