On Christmas Day, I looked out the livin' room window and...
...and I got all warm and fuzzy inside.
NO... I was not into the nip.
Okay, so I WAS into the nip, I HAD BEEN into the nip, and I was plannin' on continuing TO BE into the nip for the rest of the day, but...
...but it wasn't the nip that was givin' me that warm and fuzzy feelin' inside.
You see, I was feelin' all warm and fuzzy inside watchin' the little chickadees flit here and there on the veranda, eating their fill of the seeds in the bird feeders Rushy and I got Peep #2 for Christmas, and knowin' we were instrumental in makin' sure those cute little birdies had full tummies on Christmas day.
That's right, Rushy and I gave the second peep a couple bird feeders for Christmas, and Peep #1 - AKA Peepers - agreed to be responsible for keepin' the feeders full You know, she agreed on account of A, our kitty paws not bein' great with pryin' open bird feeders and filling 'em up with seeds; and B, little birdies often get nervous when they see a kitty like me fiddling with their dining room table.
So anyway, everythin' was fine and dandy, and goin' all tickety-boo...
...on Christmas Day.
Yup, ON CHRISTMAS DAY, I watched the little birdies eatin' their fill, and got all warm and fuzzy inside.
That was CHRISTMAS DAY.
The next day, I got myself into position in the big livin' room chair next to the window, and waited for the warm and fuzzies to start, when...
When nothin'. Nothin' at all. Absolutely bloomin' NOTHIN'.
And the next day...
The next day, no birdies came to visit the feeders, either. Not one! I never saw one, never heard one, never even got a letter.
And the day after that? Yesterday?
The birdies have never returned. Not even for a snack, never mind a meal. Not even for a morsel!
Clearly, the peep's culinary efforts aren't up to the standards of birds. CLEARLY, the peep's cookin' is NOT for the birds, after all. CLEARLY, the peep's kitchen prowess is... Well... SUCKY TIMES TWO. Maybe even a hundred.
Now I ask you: HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO OPEN A BAG OF BIRD SEED? HOW HARD? Are there other peeps out there who get failin' grades when it comes to preparation of meals for birds? ARE THERE? Or is it just MY peep who totally sucks? Times two. Probably a hundred.
Seriously, I'm lookin' for answers here, my friends. Inquirin' minds are NEEDIN' to know. 'CAUSE SERIOUSLY, if ol' Peepers doesn't get her act together and learn how to do this bird feedin' business better, the birdies out there are gonna starve themselves to death!
And any chance of my havin' more warm and fuzzy feelings is gonna fly right out the window with 'em. Or not with 'em. You know, 'CAUSE THE BIRDIES AREN'T THERE.