I see your problem there, Peepers. Yup, I see your problem right there. Peepers, that's one mighty big problem you have, for sure.
Now as for a solution...
You know I'd help you if I could. You KNOW I'd help you, for sure. Thing is though, I'm thinkin' you may be be beyond any help I can personally give.
And anyway, how did it happen in the first place? How the mouses did the situation get so bad? How did things get so out of control?
Seriously, Peepers, YOU HAVE ONE SERIOUS MAT.
You know, my fur never mats like that. But my fur is short, and not so freakishly long. Rushy's fur is freaky, of course. Yup, his fur IS freakishly long. And your hair is even longer than his.
But usually, your ponytail or bun keeps the darn stuff under control.
Which begs the question:
Peepers, you know that metal scrubby thing up at the kitchen sink?
Never you mind how I know what's up at that sink.
Anyway, you know that metal scubby thing up at the sink? The one with the mess of tangled-up wire and stuff? You know the one I mean?
Well that's exactly what that matted hair of yours looks like.
Don't complain to me, Peepers. I'm merely the messenger. Not MY fault you've got a wire dish scrubby thing growing out of the nape of your neck.
Now you have tried using a comb, right?
Just checkin'. But yeah, you're right. I didn't think a comb would comb that thing out, either.
PLUS, I would imagine trying, would hurt.
How 'bout using some butter?
Don't look at me like that. Personally, if I had a mess of a mat like that, I wouldn't mind seeing if a pat of butter would get the mat out. Of course, that's on account of my really liking butter and not 'cause I actually think slathering some on my fur would help with the mat.
Although it would taste might fine.
But back to that mat at the nape of your neck.
Well Peepers, what can I say? I'm gonna be honest with you. I think we're gonna have to cut the darned thing out.
But don't you worry there, Peepers. YOUR HAIR WILL GROW BACK.
And over the years, many a peep has said exactly that to many a cat.
I'll go get Rushy's clippers. I'll go get 'em right now.
Be right back.