Turn it off.
Turn it off.
I said, TURN IT OFF.
Oh for mousin' out loud.
TURN. IT. OFF.
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
What do I want turned off?
Don't you know nothin' about nothin'? The heat, Peepers. The heat! I want the heat turned off and I want it turned off NOW.
Or at least turned down a bit.
You have no idea, Peepers. NO IDEA AT ALL! There you are, prancin' about in your t-shirt and shorts, baring your arms and legs for all to see. You're like a shameless hussy, you are.
I, on the other paw, am a cat. A CAT! A cat with a built-in fur coat. I can't take off a few layers when the temperature soars. I have only the one layer to start with, and like I said, it's built-in. My fur coat doesn't come off.
Why yes, I am cursing up a storm over here, sayin' MOUSES this and MOUSES that for anyone and everyone to hear. You would be too if you were feeling the heat like me.
And it's not just the heat, you know? It's the humidity, too.
Now granted, the humidity doesn't make my fur go all crazy and wild like it does your hair - AND THANKS-BE-TO-GOODNESS FOR THAT - but it still makes me feel extra hot.
By the way, Peepers, since the topic has come up. Do they not make ANYTHIN' to fix that ol' hair problem of yours? I mean, it kinda looks like your head went all rogue and blew itself up.
Oohhh... I wonder if that's why Rushy's tail looks the way it does. You know, all poofy and puffy and stuff. I'll ask him the next time I see him. Whenever I have the energy to get up and walk about in this heat.
But back to the topic at paw. It's hot, Peepers. Hot as Hades, for sure. And I'm not likin' it one bit.
What's more, I'm pretty sure you - yes YOU, Peepers - are to blame.
Well I'll tell you why, for sure. Peepers, remember way back in May and early June?
Remember when you were complainin' it was too cold for spring? Complainin' it was too cold for the garden? Complainin' about the lack of heat?
Perhaps you've forgotten, but I sure haven't, AND IT SEEMS TO ME, somebody heard all your stupid complainin', Peepers, and now...
And now it's as hot as hot can be.
AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
Now be a good little peep and go turn that stupid heat off.