Turn it off.
Turn it off.
I said, TURN IT OFF.
MOUSES!
Oh for mousin' out loud.
TURN. IT. OFF.
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
What do I want turned off?
Don't you know nothin' about nothin'? The heat, Peepers. The heat! I want the heat turned off and I want it turned off NOW.
Or at least turned down a bit.
MOUSES!
You have no idea, Peepers. NO IDEA AT ALL! There you are, prancin' about in your t-shirt and shorts, baring your arms and legs for all to see. You're like a shameless hussy, you are.
MOUSES!
I, on the other paw, am a cat. A CAT! A cat with a built-in fur coat. I can't take off a few layers when the temperature soars. I have only the one layer to start with, and like I said, it's built-in. My fur coat doesn't come off.
MOUSES!
Why yes, I am cursing up a storm over here, sayin' MOUSES this and MOUSES that for anyone and everyone to hear. You would be too if you were feeling the heat like me.
MOUSES!
And it's not just the heat, you know? It's the humidity, too.
Now granted, the humidity doesn't make my fur go all crazy and wild like it does your hair - AND THANKS-BE-TO-GOODNESS FOR THAT - but it still makes me feel extra hot.
By the way, Peepers, since the topic has come up. Do they not make ANYTHIN' to fix that ol' hair problem of yours? I mean, it kinda looks like your head went all rogue and blew itself up.
MOUSES!
Oohhh... I wonder if that's why Rushy's tail looks the way it does. You know, all poofy and puffy and stuff. I'll ask him the next time I see him. Whenever I have the energy to get up and walk about in this heat.
MOUSES!
But back to the topic at paw. It's hot, Peepers. Hot as Hades, for sure. And I'm not likin' it one bit.
What's more, I'm pretty sure you - yes YOU, Peepers - are to blame.
MOUSES!
Why?
Why?
WHY?
Well I'll tell you why, for sure. Peepers, remember way back in May and early June?
REMEMBER?
Remember when you were complainin' it was too cold for spring? Complainin' it was too cold for the garden? Complainin' about the lack of heat?
REMEMBER?
Perhaps you've forgotten, but I sure haven't, AND IT SEEMS TO ME, somebody heard all your stupid complainin', Peepers, and now...
And now it's as hot as hot can be.
AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
Now be a good little peep and go turn that stupid heat off.
MOUSES!
OH Seville, Serenity cats are all belly to the ground here, you are right it is HOT. I feel bad for all of you fur bearing animals. STay cool my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteHmmm...well, at least the mystery is solved and we know why it's been so infernally hot. Mouses, indeed! Purrs from Deb and the Zee/Zoey gang.
ReplyDeleteIt sure has been horribly hot here too but at least I now know who to blame!
ReplyDeleteThanks Peepers, I might as well blame you for the heat here too. We are on the same coast. Could you turn it down just a bit? Please and thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou tell her, Seville! Turn that hot air knob down a few clicks, will ya?!?
ReplyDeleteNoooo. Too much heat will wilt and kill your nip plants, Seville! Forget the fuzz and frizz, get the peep spraying the nip! And by spraying I mean, well, you know NOT that! MOL
ReplyDeletepurrs
ERin
I hear ya, Seville! Purrhaps you should ask Moët The cat on Twitter! My two are sprawled out in front of the fan!
ReplyDeleteI complain all summer, but I NEVER complain about snow or cold :)
ReplyDeleteSeville I think our Dad was complaining about the cold too. They are to blame arent they MOL
ReplyDeleteWhy is it so-o hard for peeps to get the temperatures to our liking in our houses? They have it all off balance. I guess off balance describes our peeps to a T, too! Winks.
ReplyDelete