I've blogged about this before - MORE THAN ONCE - and you know somethin'? I'm gonna blog about it again. In fact, I'm gonna blog about it again and again AND AGAIN.
Well maybe just the once.
Okay, so I'm lyin' there on the big chair in the family room, mindin' my own business while starin' at the peep, when...
Pardon me? Why was I starin' at Ol' Peepers, you ask?
Hmmm... Come to think of it, I'm not really sure why. She must have been lookin' stupid or somethin' like that.
So anyway, there I was starin' at the peep and TOTALLY MINDIN' MY OWN BUSINESS, when...
When Peep #1 got up off her lazy ol' tail, and headed straight for me.
Oh boy, I saw her comin' right at me. She was headin' in my direction, for sure. At first I thought maybe she was gonna change the channel on the television or somethin', although that didn't really make sense on account of the remote bein' right there beside her, makin' gettin' up totally unnecessary, and...
FYI, did you know, if a kitty plunks his bum down on a television remote control in just the right way, a kitty can TOTALLY SCREW UP the TV, causing it to start recording stuff in such a way that no one knows how to stop it from recording?
But anyway, back to the peep. There the peep was, coming straight for me, having walked right past the TV.
Four. Three. Two...
AND SHE HAD ME, CAPTIVE IN HER ARMS.
I squirmed like no kitty has ever squirmed before...
Okay, so what I actually did was give her the ol' stink eye. You know, the look that says, WHO THE MOUSES DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, WOMAN? WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO PICK ME UP? DID YOU EVEN BOTHER TO ASK FOR PERMISSION?
Minutes later - HAVING BEEN CATNAPPED! - I was over on the chesterfield with the peep, being cradled like a baby in her arms.
IT WAS HUMILIATING, FOR SURE.
I'm tellin' ya, my friends, if word 'bout this gets out to the other cats on the street, I'm gonna be the laughin' stock of the neighbourhood, I am.
So with that in mind, let's keep this embarrassing situation of my peep not bein' able to keep her paws off me, just between you and me, okay?