"YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Bracing myself, I stood on my hind legs and barricaded the door to the kitchen. "Peepers, why don't you spend a few more minutes outside? Outside in the sun and the fresh air. Get a little colour in your cheeks why don't ya? You could do with losin' that pasty face pallor you've been sportin', as of late."
"Because it's getting cold outside, Seville, and in case you hadn't noticed, there is no sun. The sky has clouded over." The peep narrowed her eyes, suspiciously. "Why don't you want me going into the kitchen?"
"Ummm... Because uh.... Because... Because it's... Uh... Because it's not dinnertime yet?" I answered. Sorta.
The peep narrowed her eyes even more. "You're up to something," she said. "Spit it out."
I obligingly coughed up a large hair ball. MOUSES!
"What the heck? What was that?" The peep squealed as a small dark grey somethin' flew right past her head.
I innocently looked about. "What was what?" I asked. "You seein' things again, there, Peepers? Maybe the cold has gotten to you. Why don't you come inside?" I stepped away from the door to the kitchen, allowin' Peep #1 to pass.
Just then, a loud crash come from the next room. "GOTTA RUN!" I cried, and disappeared into the family room. Moments later, I reappeared at the door. "Whatever you do, Peepers, don't come in here, okay? We'll talk later," and I turned, goin' back into the room.
"WHAT THE MOUSES IS GOING ON IN HERE?" The peep was standin' at the door to the family room, her hands on her hips and her mouth hangin' halfway to the floor.
"Nothin'," Mason, Andy, Rushy, and I all answered in unison. "Nothin'. Nothin' at all."
Once again, a dark grey object flew past the peep's head.
"Why do you ask?" I enquired. Innocently.
The peep's face turned three shades of purple.
Andy got up on his hind legs and leaned up against the coffee table. That lasted all of five seconds before one paw slipped and he fell flat on his face. The visitor who had been perched on the table just behind him, then fluttered up toward the ceiling fan.
"WHY THE MOUSES IS THERE A BIRD IN THE HOUSE?" the peep cried.
"Because the chicken told him not to cross the road?" I helpfully replied.
"This..." the peep fumed. "This is why you wouldn't let me into the kitchen? This is what you were hiding?"
"Oh my mouses!" I gasped. "Where are my manners? I haven't yet made any introductions. Peepers, this is uh... Um... Bird. Bird?" and I looked up at the ceiling fan. "This, here, is the first peep."
The bird now known as Bird looked down at the peep before taking flight and flying into a window.
"Oh for crying out loud," the peep said with a sigh, and made a beeline for the window. "How on Earth did a bird get into the house?" She stopped in her tracks and turned toward my fursibs and me. "Did one of you cats bring him inside?"
I busied myself, examinin' a claw. Meanwhile, Mason flicked her tail in Rushy's face, Rushy tried to catch Mason's tail with a paw, and Andy sat down and started washin' his bum. MOUSES!
The peep turned back to the window where Bird was fluttering up against the glass. She went to lower the upper pane behind which there's no screen, but I, Seville the Cat, was quicker, and lickety-split, I was up on the window ledge on my hind legs, tryin' to catch Bird with my front paws.
"NO!" the peep cried. "Seville, stop that. Stop that right now."
"But Bird needs my help," I explained. "He's stuck in the house and he can't get out."
"I'LL help the bird," the peep said.
"FINE. Suit yourself," and I jumped down. At that moment, Bird gave up on the gettin'-out-through-the-window-business and flew down to me, passin' inches from my nose. I took flight after him (Not literally, of course. I mean, I was on the ground, runnin'. I wasn't actually flyin'. Takin' flight is just an expression, you see.) and together we ran behind a piece of furniture where the peep couldn't get at us.
Scratch that, Bird ran behind a piece of furniture, where neither I nor the peep could follow. MOUSES!
A loud crash came from the kitchen and the peep, Mason, Andy, and I all ran toward it. We found Rushy sittin' next to the bucket belongin' to the spinnin' mop thing. The mop was lyin' on the floor. The peep grumbled somethin' about somethin' (I wasn't payin' that much attention to her so I really don't know what.) and went to pick up the mop as Bird flew straight up like a helicopter from the bucket itself. Then he flew right back down, back into that bucket.
My whiskers twitched. Lookin' at the peep, I said, "Are you gonna get him, or shall I?"
The peep didn't answer but boy-oh-boy was she quick. Quicker than a clowder of cats at a nip farm, I should think.
Okay, so scratch that. A clowder of cats at a nip farm aren't likely to be very quick. They're LIKELY to be nappin' off the snacks they enjoyed after gettin' the munchies from imbibin' on all that nip. MOUSES!
At that moment, the peep grabbed a grocery bag that just HAPPENED to be lyin' on the floor along with some other stuff we cats had inadvertently knocked down while previously chasin' Bird through the kitchen, and placed said bag over the spinnin' mop's bucket. Scowlin' at us, she picked the bucket up and took it outside. The moment she removed the bag from over it, Bird flew up and out at an extraordinarily fast speed, straight toward the tall trees at the edge of the garden.
Returnin' to the kitchen with the empty bucket in tow, the peep looked about. "Just look at this mess you cats have made!" she exclaimed. "I don't suppose any of you are going to help me tidy it up."
I looked at the peep, blankly, then busied myself and examined another claw. Meanwhile, Mason again flicked her tail in Rushy's face, and Rushy tried swattin' said tail once more. Andy, bein' Andy, went to wash his bum again but stopped short. "Awww... Where did the pretty birdie go?" he asked. "Did someone go and let him outside?"
Hokey Smokes! A bird in the house...and it lived to fly away?!?ReplyDelete
We may have you all turn in your feline union cards!
Never a dull moment, Seville. How DID Bird get in?ReplyDelete
ha ha, that's great! The great bird escape.ReplyDelete
Wow, that was exciting! My human always catches the critters that get in here - although I usually have to show her where they are.ReplyDelete
dood.....if ther waz a burd in R houz....we wood mooved lock stock N barrel N leeved said burd ta itz own dee vize..... ☺☺☺☺☺♥♥♥♥♥ReplyDelete
My mommy’s past cats have brought in BluJays, garter snakes, mouses and voles. One time a 1/2 eaten vole that she lovingly placed on the pillow next to her then boyfriend while she was at work. Eeewww for him, Haha MOL! I am an inside Purrincess in the city but I get to go strollering.ReplyDelete
We did have a mouse squeeze under the front door threshold and look around and scurry right back out again. He probably smelled me, but my mommy and human brother saw it! It’s amazing that they can squeeze almost anywhere!
How exciting - a birdie in the house! That's never happened at my house, though they do come to the porch a lot. If only I was strong enough to push open that heavy glass door then I could let them in. Severs, maybe your 'Bird' will return with his furr-iends for a fly by. That Andy sounds a bit like my mom - the clock in the old brain not ticking in the same time as that of everypawdy else! Winks.ReplyDelete
I wish we could get a burd in here!ReplyDelete
MOUSES! A bird? In the house? What an exciting turn of events!ReplyDelete
That was a lot of excitement! If a bird ever got in the house here, all I ever found was a trail of feathers.ReplyDelete
Wow, Seville, you finally got a bird. I do hopes it was the one that had been eating the seeds. Having said that it's now free to plunder and rob the nip and lettuce patch, again!ReplyDelete
Peeps do seem to get all worked up about our light snacks. Me, being a working princess, I try to eat them on the wing so Mrs H hasn't to bother with making me lunch, or generally have any washing up to do.
wow, that was quite the adventure, Seville. Now I think you should have Bird write the adventure from his perspective. What do you think?ReplyDelete
Oh my, that had to be exciting, at least for some of you!ReplyDelete
How pawsome is a birdie in da house. leave it to our staff to ruin our fun.ReplyDelete