Sunday 5 August 2018

are you KIDDIN' me?

For mousin' out loud.

Are you KIDDIN' me?


Awww...  MOUSES!



First it was the mouse in the garage.

Then there was that frog.

Now the birds are wantin' in on the action, too?


Hey!  You!  Yeah, YOU.  YOU, you stupid bird.  DON'T BE A TURD!!!

Sorry, I know.  I know it's not nice to call others names, but..

Fine.  FINE.  Fine, so you're not a turd.

Not my fault bird rhymes with turd.

But you know, I'd just like to point out, just because the peep insists on parkin' the car in your flight path, it doesn't mean you should be droppin' your poopies - ie. turds - all over said car.



And whatever you do, don't you even THINK about dropping 'em on me.  Bad enough that as a cat I have to wash my OWN bum.  I don't need to be washin' up what comes out of yours, too.



So anyway...

So anyway, I bet you're all wonderin' what happened this time.  Yup, I bet you're all wonderin' that, for sure.

No, there wasn't a bird in the garage.

But there WAS a bird.

Just not in the garage.


Let me explain what happened, at my house, yesterday.

So the peep was all up in arms 'bout somethin' happenin' to her stupid ol' lettuce plants.  The new ones she just planted.  The ones in the stupid pots that were just startin' to poke their heads out of the soil.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna bore you with the tedious details.  I mean, we are talking 'bout lettuce plants.  WHO THE MOUSES CARES ABOUT THOSE?

Apparently, the peep.

Turns out, long story short, birds have been tryin' to eat 'em.

The baby lettuces, I mean.

So there you have it.  First it was the mouse causin' trouble.  Then the frog.  Now, birds.


And the thing is, the peep, bein' a peep, IS EXPECTIN' ME to do somethin' about it.


I know, I know...  I am a cat.  Cats are supposed to deal with birds, right?


Apparently, the peep.

But you see, the cats in my fur-fam are more into livin' and let live.  We're lovers, not killers.  WE DON'T CHASE NO STUPID LOUSY DIRTY ROTTEN BIRDS!

Oh sure, we watch the daily bird shows and stuff.  We watch 'em.  We WATCH the birds.  WE DON'T KILL 'EM!  We actually quite like the birdies.  By nature, we kitties are peaceful kitties, you see.

But now the peep is freakin' out about her stupid ol' lettuce plants.

What's a kitty to do?

Seriously, what IS a kitty to do?  I'm all out of answers, myself, which is why I've recently installed a suggestion box out at the back door. Maybe someone would like to suggest what a kitty like me should do 'bout these dirty rotten turds - I mean, BIRDS - eatin' the peep's baby lettuce plants.

So far, no one has made any suggestions.

Nope, not a one.

Not even the peep.



  1. Well I don't have a suggestion, but I have been having trouble with a blackbird. He hops into the greenhouse and takes chunks out of my tomatoes. The other day I saw him hop hopping in with his wife and 3 babies in tow, so now I have put netting across the vents and a barricade across the door. He can't hop in for a snack any more. I just hope he doesn't decide to fly over the barricade.

  2. Cover the baby lettuce plants.... Meow!

  3. MOUSES! Why does the Peep think YOU have to deal with those birds, Sivvers? Maybe she should just get one of those big old plastic owls to see if it'll scare off the lettuce eating featherheads!

  4. We're not killers here either. At least, I'm mostly not. I like watching birdies and, in fact, I wasn't sure kitties were supposed to catch them!

  5. Ahh right. You need to come and visit. Ours lve to chase the birds, they just catch the rats instead.....

  6. Hmm, them dirty rotten thirds sure do need to learn to clean up after themselves, for sure. What you have to watch out for are them rhino's and Elephants as they REALLY do massive Richard the Thirds! Sooo very big I bet your peep would lose everything in the garden. Of course elephants not being flying creatures means the peeps car should be safe from droppings... Anyways, I do hope that the hole on that there suggestion box is very small, as on current form, Seville, I reckon by next week birds will be nesting in there with the ideas! MOL
    Toodle pips and purrs

  7. Sounds like your place is descending into chaos, Seville. You may need to hire security, or if gets worse to call the Premier to get a request for Federal assistance.

  8. Your peeps could cover the lettuce plants, or we can come and visit the birdies... Purrs

  9. We love to watch the birds and we’re fine with them as long as they lettuce alone MOL!

  10. That is sweet of you not to kill the birds. Maybe the peep could drape some netting over the lettuce plants. Good thing they don't go for catnip :)

  11. Well, Severs, you can send the birdies over to my house, 'cause the birdies here seem to be fewer in number lately, 'cause of the heat. With fewer birdies that come to my window right now, I don't have much to do to pass the time. Winks.


I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.