revenge is sweet

Whoever first came up with, "REVENGE IS SWEET," was a Stoopidy-Doopity NincomPooP, for sure.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of nincompoops, you've MET my first peep, have you?

Yeah I know, I've used that line before.  But seriously, my friends, it's a great line.  It's a line worth repeatin', for sure.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, my revenge on the being-kissed-on-the-top-of-my-head front didn't work out quite as I had planned.  Believe you me, there was NOTHIN' sweet about it, at all.

MOUSES!

As you might remember, my plan to get the peep back for kissin' me, was to kiss her right back, on the top of HER head, right after I had washed up, after doin' my business in the litter box.  It was a wonderful plan, my friends.  It was a WONDERFUL plan, for sure.  It was quite possibly THE GREATEST PLAN on the face of the Earth, ever.

What could possibly go wrong?

Well...

WELL...

Well where do I start?

MOUSES!

So here is what happened:  As planned, I washed myself up from the ends of my whiskers to the tip of my tail, immediately after havin' done my business in the ol' litter box.  Then, right after that, I tracked down the peep in the family room, hopped onto the back of the chesterfield, and planted a good ol' post-washin'-of-my-bum, slobbery kiss on the top of her head.

MOUSES!

And here is what DIDN'T happen:  The peep, bein' a peep, did not cry out in disgust as I had so joyfully anticipated.  No sirree, there was not a single disgusted cheep from that peep to be heard.  Nor did she jump up and insist on washin' her hair in the shower.  She didn't even rinse it down with a bottle of stinky ol' santitizer for paws.

OH NO, THE PEEP COULDN'T DO THAT.

MOUSES!

She did, however, cry.

Unfortunately, the cries were not of the weepy kind.

OH NO, THE PEEP COULDN'T DO THAT.

Those anguished cries of ewww I was expectin' to hear, were replaced with cries of, OH HOW CUTE!  And, DID YOU SEE THAT?  SEVILLE KISSED ME RIGHT ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD.  AWWW....

Well I sat there on the back of that ol' chesterfield, aghast and bewildered.  Bewildered beyond the realms of bewilderment.  I couldn't believe what I was hearin', my friends.  I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS HEARIN'!

Does the peep not realise I just washed my bum with the same mouth with which I kissed the top of her head?

So I thought for a bit.

Then I thought a bit more.

Maybe...

Maybe the peep doesn't understand what's goin' on.

Her not understandin' somethin' made lots of sense, you see, on account of my peep not fully understandin' most of the things that I do.

So...

So I Puckered uP Plenty, and Planted ANOTHER slobbery kiss on the top of her head.

Then I sat back, and I waited.

Well I didn't have long to wait, my friends.  I didn't have long to wait, at all, for mere moments later, there were EVEN MORE cries emmanatin' from that ol' peep.

Unfortunately, it was more cryin' of the very same kind.

And again, not a single cry of anguish or disgust was heard.

OH NO...  THE PEEP COULDN'T DO THAT.

Instead, I heard all 'bout how I was the most adorable and thoughtful and lovin' cat, ever.

WELL I ALREADY KNEW THAT.

I'm tellin' ya, my friends, I was about to smacky-paw her right upside the ol' head.

MOUSES!

But before I could even raise a paw for the smacky-paw of all smacky-paws, the peep got up from her seat, turned right around to face me, grabbed me by the cheeks, and then...

And then...

AND THEN...

AND THEN SHE KISSED ME, ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

AGAIN.

MOUSES!