Sunday, 6 May 2018

revenge is sweet

Whoever first came up with, "REVENGE IS SWEET," was a Stoopidy-Doopity NincomPooP, for sure.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of nincompoops, you've MET my first peep, have you?

Yeah I know, I've used that line before.  But seriously, my friends, it's a great line.  It's a line worth repeatin', for sure.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, my revenge on the being-kissed-on-the-top-of-my-head front didn't work out quite as I had planned.  Believe you me, there was NOTHIN' sweet about it, at all.

MOUSES!

As you might remember, my plan to get the peep back for kissin' me, was to kiss her right back, on the top of HER head, right after I had washed up, after doin' my business in the litter box.  It was a wonderful plan, my friends.  It was a WONDERFUL plan, for sure.  It was quite possibly THE GREATEST PLAN on the face of the Earth, ever.

What could possibly go wrong?

Well...

WELL...

Well where do I start?

MOUSES!

So here is what happened:  As planned, I washed myself up from the ends of my whiskers to the tip of my tail, immediately after havin' done my business in the ol' litter box.  Then, right after that, I tracked down the peep in the family room, hopped onto the back of the chesterfield, and planted a good ol' post-washin'-of-my-bum, slobbery kiss on the top of her head.

MOUSES!

And here is what DIDN'T happen:  The peep, bein' a peep, did not cry out in disgust as I had so joyfully anticipated.  No sirree, there was not a single disgusted cheep from that peep to be heard.  Nor did she jump up and insist on washin' her hair in the shower.  She didn't even rinse it down with a bottle of stinky ol' santitizer for paws.

OH NO, THE PEEP COULDN'T DO THAT.

MOUSES!

She did, however, cry.

Unfortunately, the cries were not of the weepy kind.

OH NO, THE PEEP COULDN'T DO THAT.

Those anguished cries of ewww I was expectin' to hear, were replaced with cries of, OH HOW CUTE!  And, DID YOU SEE THAT?  SEVILLE KISSED ME RIGHT ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD.  AWWW....

Well I sat there on the back of that ol' chesterfield, aghast and bewildered.  Bewildered beyond the realms of bewilderment.  I couldn't believe what I was hearin', my friends.  I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS HEARIN'!

Does the peep not realise I just washed my bum with the same mouth with which I kissed the top of her head?

So I thought for a bit.

Then I thought a bit more.

Maybe...

Maybe the peep doesn't understand what's goin' on.

Her not understandin' somethin' made lots of sense, you see, on account of my peep not fully understandin' most of the things that I do.

So...

So I Puckered uP Plenty, and Planted ANOTHER slobbery kiss on the top of her head.

Then I sat back, and I waited.

Well I didn't have long to wait, my friends.  I didn't have long to wait, at all, for mere moments later, there were EVEN MORE cries emmanatin' from that ol' peep.

Unfortunately, it was more cryin' of the very same kind.

And again, not a single cry of anguish or disgust was heard.

OH NO...  THE PEEP COULDN'T DO THAT.

Instead, I heard all 'bout how I was the most adorable and thoughtful and lovin' cat, ever.

WELL I ALREADY KNEW THAT.

I'm tellin' ya, my friends, I was about to smacky-paw her right upside the ol' head.

MOUSES!

But before I could even raise a paw for the smacky-paw of all smacky-paws, the peep got up from her seat, turned right around to face me, grabbed me by the cheeks, and then...

And then...

AND THEN...

AND THEN SHE KISSED ME, ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

AGAIN.

MOUSES!

60 comments:

  1. Oh dear. The best laid plans....

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  2. Serenity Cats6 May 2018 at 17:55

    Awwww Seville, you are so lucky to be loved that way, your siblings as well. Take it all in my friend for the other cats that are out there. I am sure there are unfortunately still many who would love what you have. Hugs and purrs from all of us at Serenity, our Peep does not mind our kisses either, she embraces them just as your Peep loved yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. I would gladly share my house with more cats if they'd take one for the team when it came to kisses. purrs

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  3. Oh no. Sighs. Sometimes we just can't win, can we? All our clever plans.... PS: MOUSES! is the best line that the Cat Blogosphere has ever produced. Paws down.

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    1. The best line ever? Oh my mouses, my pal, when Nissy hears that, he'll be purrin' so loudly... SO loudly... He'll be purrin' so loudly, you'll hear him all the way from Heaven. PURRS

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  4. If it's any consolation Seville, we get the same reaction here and I expect other cars do too.
    Whenever cats and humans coexist,humans tend to not be fastidious about what we were doing before kissing them. They just like that we kissed them :/ Especially the women. Men may be a bit more particular,but don't count on it :/
    WE can only dream of the reaction.
    Wait for a purrson who is nervous of cats to visit ;)
    Heh,heh,heh !
    Purrs Georgia,Julie and JJ

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    1. You'd really think they'd think 'bout it a bit more, wouldn't you? I mean... I CONSTANTLY think 'bout the germs Peep #1 could be givin' me. MOUSES!

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  5. Well at least you gave it a go, now back to the drawing board!

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    1. Yup, onto plan B. And THIS time, I'm gonna include an escape route. MOUSES!

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  6. MOUSES. Peeps are just so darned weird, Sivvers!

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    1. I know! It's like they WANT to be weird or somethin'. MOUSES!

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  7. Oh wow, that really backfired!

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  8. Hmm, maybe try for third time lucky? I know what would really be payback, and that would be a mouse in the hair.... failing that a spider would work.... though if peep #1 had hair like Mrs H, in a bun, then maybe not, and they could just nest there. Mouses!
    ERin

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    1. You know, Peep #1 has been wearin' her hair in a bun, rather than a ponytail, as of late. She says she's taming it, as the ponytail was gettin' all... Well... Well it looked like a mop, that's what. I bet I could stick somethin' in there. MOUSES!

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  9. Hmmm, short of leaving poop on your face (We know . . . EWWWW!) and planting one on her then, we think you're stuck with being the most adorable and thoughtful and lovin' cat, ever. Could be worse . . . and just as soon as we think of something worse, we'll chime in!

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    1. How 'bout if I got some on my paws and then gently patted her face. You think that might work? purrs

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    2. Maybe if you kiss her right after you eat some extra smelly food like tuna or oceanfish...that would produce the desired reaction.

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    3. Hmmm... Some of those fishy foods DO smell. HMMM.... MOUSES!

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  10. Guess that Mom truly loves you Seville. She obviously enjoyed her kisses on top of her head no matter what. Great post. We got lots of giggles here.

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    1. It's all fun and games 'til YOU'RE the one gettin' kissed. MOUSES!

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  11. MOL ! Sometimes, things just don't go as they should... Purrs

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    1. Seriously. It was like THE EXACT OPPOSITE of what I had wanted. MOUSES!

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  12. you're gonna have a hard time finding any kind of kiss that disguusts humans! They are so much more desperate for love than felines!! Their standards are very low! Though I suspect any human would react the same way if a cutie like you gave them a kiss!

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    1. Their standards ARE low. They are THE LOWEST, for sure. Actually, when you think about it, that explains a few things. MOUSES!

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  13. Sorry Seville, but your plan was destined for failure from the word go.

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    1. You think? You have any ideas I could use to make it work? purrs

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  14. Oh my Seville, that plan did backfire...hmmmmmmm, there must be something else you can do....
    xoxo,
    Arty, Jakey & Rosy

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    1. I'm still workin' on it. Let me know if you think of somethin', okay? purrs

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  15. MOUSES! Gotta say Seville, peeps are very confusing. I am still tryin', after nine sum-odd-years to understand mine. RATS! (terrier here...I likes the rats...only gots the roof rats here though, so I could use a little kitteh assistance BOL!) Anyhu, if you figure out your peeps behaviour, let us knows.
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥
    pees: yes...there is nip in the margaritas! I makes them special order for my kitteh furiends! ☺

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    1. We have no rats but we have mice... Scratch that, we're all moused out, unless you count the nipmouse kind. We have squirrels though. Those the same as the roof rats? purrs

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  16. All that kissing going on at your house sounds just a little too "mushy" for me! Mom grabs me and holds me in her arms for some tummy rubs and face massage but she's never planted a kiss on me............YET!

    Hugs, Teddy

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    1. Never? Ever? Boy are YOU lucky. How do you do it? Did you have to train her or somethin'? purrs

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  17. Stoopidy-Doopity NincomPooP ... that about covers it! The question is, after kissing the Peep on the head, is it safe to go back to grooming your nether regions? Same mouth and all and you never know where her heads been!

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    1. I. Never. Thought. 'Bout. That. YOU'RE RIGHT! I might already be contaminated. MOUSES!

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  18. Mommy always kisses Lexy on the nose. I don't get nose kisses because I usually have a runny nose. I don't see what the big deal is about that, but humans are strange.

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    1. Humans ARE strange. I believe it is specific to their species. MOUSES!

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  19. Hari OM
    Oh Great Cat has the wummin no sense...or sensitivity... or just plain ol' scruples? Whachee thinking to be planting Love upon your brow like that??? AGAIN????? Maybe you need to whappity-whap the ankles and furget the head? Hugs and whiskeries, YAM-aunty xxx

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    1. No sense at all. No scruples, either. She's a stupidy-dupity peep. MOUSES!

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  20. Replies
    1. But not so great with the doin' of the pleasin', I'm afraid. MOUSES!

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  21. You win some you loose some it seems. What is a cat to do really? Maybe ... get a dog friend? They will take all the kisses!

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    1. Now THAT'S a thought. You really think a doggy might allow himself to get all kissed up and stuff? purrs

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  22. Maybe she wasn't aware that you just used your box? And maybe, just maybe, your post-bum-washing kisses were not nearly as stinky as you'd hoped? Even so, something like that doesn't faze the true cat peeps. I'm not surprised you got kissed back. What's Plan B?

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    1. Plan B is to introduce her more closely to my litter box. MOUSES!

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  23. Awww, Seville. I kiss mommy ALL the time! She kisses Lexy on the nose, but won't kiss me on the nose. Something about runny snot. I don't see what the big deal is.

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    1. What the mouses is wrong with a little runny snot? purrs

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  24. * helpless laughter *

    Oh Seville, you really will have to cat-up and realise that being loved involves sacrifices. One of those is being cuddles and YES - given a kiss ;-)

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    1. It's too much, Marjorie. It's just WAY TOO MUCH. MOUSES!

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  25. I'm sorry for all the anguish your person causes you. You definitely need a dog friend to distract her! And to be honest, the dog will probably love all the kisses from both of you.

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    1. The dog will want kisses FROM ME, too? MOUSES!

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  26. Kisses are great - it doesn't matter about the rest.

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    1. From the peep's viewpoint, maybe, but from mine? MOUSES!

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  27. Oh Seville!! LOL See I tried to warn you. That plan was going to backfire! Well now you know! MOUSES!

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    1. And what to do next, I really don't know. I can't take any more kisses. MOUSES!

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.