Sunday, 13 May 2018

red alert!

Red alert!

RED ALERT!

Peepers!  WE HAVE A MOUSIE-MOUSIN' MOUSES, FULL ON, RED ALERT!

Call the police!

Call the air force!

Call in CSIS if you have to.  And while you're at it, call in the USS Enterprise, too.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What am I babblin' on about now, you ask?

What am I babblin' on about?  I?  I?  I as in me?

MOUSES!

First of all, Peepers, I, Seville the Cat, do not babble.  I leave the babblin' to you peeps.

MOUSES!

Secondly, Peepers, I don't care for the tone of your voice.  You're makin' it sound like I'M OVERREACTIN' or somethin' like that.  I, Seville the Cat, do not overreact.  I leave the overreactin' to you peeps.

MOUSES!

And thirdly...

Well...

Well never mind about that.  I need to get right to the point, Peepers, on account of my havin' a full-blown, mousie-mousin', red alert EMERGENCY on my paws.

Peepers, ANDY AND RUSHY HAVE DISCOVERED THE NIP.

MOUSES!

No, not nip in general.  Don't be so silly, Peepers.  Those two long-haired marmie freaks didn't suddenly discover the existence of nip.  They've always known 'bout nip existin', and all.  They've always been nipheads, too, in case that little fact had slipped out of your head.

But back to my point.

Peepers, the nip those two nipheads have suddenly discovered, is mine.

No, Peepers, not my personal stash.  Thank goodness they haven't discovered that, they...

Wait a minute.  WAIT A MOUSIE MOUSIN' MOUSES MINUTE.  PEEPERS, HOW THE MOUSES DO YOU KNOW, I HAVE A PERSONAL STASH?

You been snooping 'round my office, Peepers?

WELL, HAVE YOU?

Awww...  Never mind.  Never mind about that, for we have more important things to discuss.

Now back to those two long-haired brothers of mine.

But don't be thinkin' you're off the hook, Peepers.  We'll discuss your snoopin', later.

MOUSES!

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah.

Andy and Rushy have found...

They've found...

THEY'VE FOUND...

THEY'VE FOUND MY BABY NIP PLANTS IS WHAT THEY'VE FOUND.

MOUSES!

Peepers, I looked out the front door this mornin', and what did I see?  I saw those two long-haired marmie freaks, workin' together to dislodge the protective coverin', coverin' my baby nips.  You know, that tray I covered 'em with.  That plant tray I so carefully placed over the pots.  The plant tray that was supposed to keep maraudin' long-haired freaks out of my grow-op.  You know the one?

Yeah, that would be it

Well, those two brothers of mine managed to get the tray off the plants, and the next thing I knew...

The next thing I knew...

Oh my mouses, it's too terrifyin' to repeat.

The next thing I knew, Rushy had his face right in one of my pots of the nip.

And when he lifted his head?

Oh my gosh, THE HORROR.  It's bringin' tears to my eyes, just rememberin'.

When he lifted his head, HE WAS DROOLIN' THE JUICE OF THE NIP!  That's right, he had nip juice drippin' from BOTH SIDES of his mouth.

I was mortified.  I was HORRIFIED.  I almost fainted, right there and right then.  I almost....

No Peepers, I'm am NOT overreactin'.  You take that back.  Like I said earlier, I, Seville the Cat, do not overreact.  I leave the overreactin' to peeps.

Which, by the way, you might be doin' sometime soon.

Why?

Well...

Uh...

Well let's just say, I had to chase those two long-haired marmie freaks away from my precious nip plants and I did so by giving 'em both the smacky-paw of all smacky-paws, right on their backs.  And when they ran off...

Well...

Well they ran right through your stupid lettuce plants.

You weren't plannin' on eatin' those any time soon, were you?

They were kinda stupid.

The lettuce plants, I mean.

MOUSES!

32 comments:

  1. O noes!!!
    You need a force field around your very own personal nipletts!
    ~V

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do! I wonder if James T. Kirk has one handy. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. Oooh, so that's who has been at Mrs H's lettuce! I knew it wasn't slugs or such like. It was those two long haired Marmie bro's of yours! Heck they move quick, don't they. And I don't even have any nip plants for them to nibble!
    Heres hoping your lettuce, and nip, fair better than mine!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait a minute... You lost your nip? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

      How did it happen?

      purrs

      Delete
  3. I feel certain that you can keep those itty bitty nippy plants safe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I sure do hope so. I have a lot ridin' on this nip. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. Wow, for a minute we thought those pesky fairies had come back. Would that be worse than the marmie nip invasion, do you think??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That WOULD be worse. Fairies after my nip? Makes me shudder at the thought. MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. You need to put them in a cage. The nip plants, not Andy and Rushy. Although, putting them in a cage might work too. No, no ,no, the Peep would be mad. Either a cage for the nip plants or hire a junkyard dog to guard them. Of course the dog might not let you near the nip plants either. So many problems and so few solutions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think the peep would be thrilled with my hirin' a junkyard dog. The brothers will have to be caged. That's that. MOUSES!

      Delete
  6. Better those lettuce plants get trampled than your nip gets stolen, Seville!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Uh oh. This can't be good for the future survival of your nip plants, Sivvers. MOUSES!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know. Now that's they've tasted their nipjuice...

      MOUSES!

      Delete
  8. Hari OM
    Howly-mewly, Sev, that is jus' horrorifix!!! I jus' dunno whatta suggest to pawtect your nip. Isa wall of razor wire to big a stretch??? Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm jottin' this down. Wall of razor wire... This might do the trick! MOUSES!

      Delete
  9. Uh oh, sounds like the lettuce plants may have come off worse than the nip. I hope your nip recovers from such a terrifying attack.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but a few lettuce losses really don't matter.

      At least not to me.

      PURRS

      Delete
  10. We need a campaign To Save Sevilles Nip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We do! I should start up a petition. MOUSES!

      Delete
  11. Time to move the plants. They will never be safe now that they have been discovered!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Problem is, wherever I move 'em, those freaky brothers will sniff 'em out. MOUSES!

      Delete
  12. O.M.G! The horror of that vision we will forever carry in our heads! Yes, razor-wire is definitely called for. And alarms and cameras of all kinds. And security. Call the dang security, for fur's sake!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alarms... Cameras... Security force... I NEED THIS STUFF.

      MOUSES!

      Delete
  13. I know you never overreact Seville, clearly this was an emergency situation. Baby nip plants are delicate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They sure are. One chomp and they're...

      Gone.

      THE HORROR!

      Mouses.

      Delete
  14. Nip invaders?! I think you need a nip patrol squad. Maybe that would do the trick. Maybe you could hire some bunnies for the job of protecting your nip. I bet they'd work for some of your Mom's lettuce. Tee hee hee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but I think...

      I think they might be too distracted by the lettuce and ignore protectin' my nip.

      MOUSES!

      Delete
  15. Everyone knows you just don't mess with a guy's catnip!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I sure do with my freaky brothers knew that. MOUSES!

      Delete
  16. Hey, gardens are a green zone..protected and avoided, especially if there are nip plants. Messin' with them is a big no-no!! - Tom x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure is. NOBODY messes with my nip. MOUSES!

      Delete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.