red alert!

Red alert!

RED ALERT!

Peepers!  WE HAVE A MOUSIE-MOUSIN' MOUSES, FULL ON, RED ALERT!

Call the police!

Call the air force!

Call in CSIS if you have to.  And while you're at it, call in the USS Enterprise, too.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What am I babblin' on about now, you ask?

What am I babblin' on about?  I?  I?  I as in me?

MOUSES!

First of all, Peepers, I, Seville the Cat, do not babble.  I leave the babblin' to you peeps.

MOUSES!

Secondly, Peepers, I don't care for the tone of your voice.  You're makin' it sound like I'M OVERREACTIN' or somethin' like that.  I, Seville the Cat, do not overreact.  I leave the overreactin' to you peeps.

MOUSES!

And thirdly...

Well...

Well never mind about that.  I need to get right to the point, Peepers, on account of my havin' a full-blown, mousie-mousin', red alert EMERGENCY on my paws.

Peepers, ANDY AND RUSHY HAVE DISCOVERED THE NIP.

MOUSES!

No, not nip in general.  Don't be so silly, Peepers.  Those two long-haired marmie freaks didn't suddenly discover the existence of nip.  They've always known 'bout nip existin', and all.  They've always been nipheads, too, in case that little fact had slipped out of your head.

But back to my point.

Peepers, the nip those two nipheads have suddenly discovered, is mine.

No, Peepers, not my personal stash.  Thank goodness they haven't discovered that, they...

Wait a minute.  WAIT A MOUSIE MOUSIN' MOUSES MINUTE.  PEEPERS, HOW THE MOUSES DO YOU KNOW, I HAVE A PERSONAL STASH?

You been snooping 'round my office, Peepers?

WELL, HAVE YOU?

Awww...  Never mind.  Never mind about that, for we have more important things to discuss.

Now back to those two long-haired brothers of mine.

But don't be thinkin' you're off the hook, Peepers.  We'll discuss your snoopin', later.

MOUSES!

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah.

Andy and Rushy have found...

They've found...

THEY'VE FOUND...

THEY'VE FOUND MY BABY NIP PLANTS IS WHAT THEY'VE FOUND.

MOUSES!

Peepers, I looked out the front door this mornin', and what did I see?  I saw those two long-haired marmie freaks, workin' together to dislodge the protective coverin', coverin' my baby nips.  You know, that tray I covered 'em with.  That plant tray I so carefully placed over the pots.  The plant tray that was supposed to keep maraudin' long-haired freaks out of my grow-op.  You know the one?

Yeah, that would be it

Well, those two brothers of mine managed to get the tray off the plants, and the next thing I knew...

The next thing I knew...

Oh my mouses, it's too terrifyin' to repeat.

The next thing I knew, Rushy had his face right in one of my pots of the nip.

And when he lifted his head?

Oh my gosh, THE HORROR.  It's bringin' tears to my eyes, just rememberin'.

When he lifted his head, HE WAS DROOLIN' THE JUICE OF THE NIP!  That's right, he had nip juice drippin' from BOTH SIDES of his mouth.

I was mortified.  I was HORRIFIED.  I almost fainted, right there and right then.  I almost....

No Peepers, I'm am NOT overreactin'.  You take that back.  Like I said earlier, I, Seville the Cat, do not overreact.  I leave the overreactin' to peeps.

Which, by the way, you might be doin' sometime soon.

Why?

Well...

Uh...

Well let's just say, I had to chase those two long-haired marmie freaks away from my precious nip plants and I did so by giving 'em both the smacky-paw of all smacky-paws, right on their backs.  And when they ran off...

Well...

Well they ran right through your stupid lettuce plants.

You weren't plannin' on eatin' those any time soon, were you?

They were kinda stupid.

The lettuce plants, I mean.

MOUSES!