HEY PEEPERS! Keep it down over there, would ya? I'm tryin' to take a nap.
Yeah, I know I had a nap earlier. What's your point?
Peepers, that was my mid-mornin' nap. Before that, I had my early-mornin' nap. Now it's time for my late-mornin' nap. In case you hadn't noticed, it's eleven in the mornin'. Eleven in the mornin' is prime nappin' time, if you ask me.
Well you SHOULD have asked me. Had you asked, you wouldn't be wonderin' why I'm tryin' to take a nap right now and, MORE IMPORTANTLY, you wouldn't be interruptin' my attempt at takin' it.
For mousin' out loud woman, EVERYONE knows cats need lots of naps. Naps are how we cats maintain our beauty.
Don't look at me like that. Have you never heard of beauty sleep? Lots of naps is how we cats stay lookin' as good as we do.
Speakin' of which...
Speakin' of which, YOU COULD DO WITH A FEW NAPS THERE, YOURSELF, PEEPERS. MOUSES!
Just makin' an observation, is all.
So anyway, you think you could keep it down? Like I said before, I'm tryin' to take a nap.
What? What? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
Of course I do. I know perfectly well that I was up at three o'clock in the mornin'. I was up playin' with that plastic ball toy you bought us the other day. Peepers, have you noticed how it makes lots of noise as it hits the walls when bein' whappity-whapped down the upstairs hallway? It's a great toy, Peepers. Thanks so much for gettin' it for us. That was a super thoughtful thing for you to do, and...
Peepers, it's really not nice to interrupt a kitty when said kitty is payin' you a compliment. Your constantly interruptin' me is one of the reasons I hardly ever compliment you in the first place, and...
WHAT. What now? What are you babblin' on about this time?
I thought I already answered that question. YES, Peepers, I am aware I was awake at three o'clock this mornin'. Like I said, I was whappity-whappin' that plastic ball down the upstairs hallway.
Yes, the hallway right outside your bedroom door. That's the one. You know of any other hallways up there?
Actually, when I think about it, I bet my whappity-whappin' of that ol' plastic ball is probably why I'm so desperately in need of my late-mornin' nap. I bet I wore myself right out with all that whappin'. I seriously need to start my nap RIGHT NOW, or else I'll be a sourpuss all afternoon.
You know, Peepers, if you got more naps in, you might not be so uh... Um... Cranky. Know what I mean?
Why do you keep askin' me if I'm aware I was up at three o'clock in the mornin'? I ALREADY TOLD you I was. I already told you I was up, playin' with that new plastic ball toy you got us, whappity-whappin' it down the upstairs hallway, seein' how many times I could get it to hit the walls in one go.
FYI, in case you were wonderin' there, Peepers, the answer to that question is six. I can get the ball to hit the walls six times in one go down the hallway. As you might have heard, I tried to beat that record numerous times, but six is kinda the limit. Of course, there is no limit to the number of times a kitty can try.
What's that, Peepers? Do I think my bein' up in the middle of the night is the reason I'm tryin' to have a nap right now?
I thought we already covered that point. I thought I already told you it was. You're startin' to repeat yourself there, Peepers. You goin' a little senile or somethin'?
What? WHAT? You're babblin' again, Peepers.
Do I think my keepin' YOU awake in the middle of the night is the reason you're babblin'?
No. You babble on 'bout all sorts of nonsense, ALL of the time. I'm not takin' the blame for that. What does your constant need to babble have to do with me?
Actually, I have a better question, Peepers. Why is your constant need to babble PREVENTIN' ME FROM TAKIN' MY LATE-MORNIN' NAP? Huh? HUH? WHY?
Peepers, you'll have to excuse me. I REALLY NEED my late-mornin' nap and for the nine lives of me, I cannot figure out WHAT you are babblin' on about. Or WHY you're babblin' on about whatever it is you're babblin' on about, either. You just keep on repeatin' some nonsense 'bout three o'clock in the mornin'. But the one thing I do know is, your constant babblin' is preventin' me from gettin' to my nap, so...
So seriously Peepers, I'm gonna go into the other room and I'm gonna have my nap in there. You feel free to babble on in here, in THIS room, about whatever you want to babble on about.
Just keep it to yourself, okay?
AND DO IT QUIETLY, TOO.
My gosh, I am in SERIOUS need of a nap.
Boy-oh-boy, if I don't get this nap in right now, my whole afternoon nappin' schedule is gonna be all out of whack, and if that happens, my evening naps will end up bein' pushed back. I might even be forced to skip a nap or two. Can't have that. If I miss out on a nap, I'll be too tired to whappity-whap that plastic ball down the upstairs hallway again tonight.