Way back when, when the dinosaurs roamed the earth...
Nah, that's not right.
Way back when, when Peep #1 was merely a kitten...
Nope, still not right. Besides, those two things are pretty much the same thing.
Way back when, in days of yore...
NOW we're talkin'.
So anyway, maybe like two or three years ago, I remember when tweetin' cats were losin' litters of kittens... I mean, followers, on Twitter. A kitty would wake up one mornin' and BAM! Two followers gone. Next mornin'? BAM! Another three! The mornin' after that? BAM! And another had disappeared.
IT WAS A TWEETIN' NIGHTMARE, FOR SURE.
I remember bein' particularly upset one mornin', when this cute little calico kitty from Moscow I had been tweetin' with, disappeared without warnin'. One day she was there, and the next, she was gone. Gone. GONE, I tell you. Gone.
Gone like a nip cheese pizza in a room full of kitties.
Of course, a few days after that, another cat with the same name started followin' me, but believe you me, this new cat was no cat at all.
I had to block her account and everythin'.
Imagine, Peeps Postin' Pictures of themselves nekkid.
And that, my friends, was The Great Twitter Purge of...
Whatever that year was.
And speakin' of purges...
Last year, at my house, we had The Great Purge of 2017.
Let's just say, since then, Peep #1 no longer buys that kinda kibble.
So anyway, I awoke this mornin' to screams of...
Okay, so they weren't really screams. It was more like a lot of hollerin'.
Well... In all honesty, it was more like a few quiet murmurings. Here and there. That kinda thing.
But quiet murmurings or not, I immediately headed over to Twitter, for I was afraid there was another purge goin' on. I was afraid I was losin' my followers!
Turns out, I had actually gained some.
Actually, lots of my pals had.
And speakin' of pals...
I don't say it often enough, my friends, but do you know somethin'? I have THE BEST PALS in the world. Have I ever told you that, my friends? Even if I have, I know I haven't told you nearly enough.
You, my friends, are as real to me as my fur-sibs and peeps.
Although truth be told, I kinda like most of you, better.
What? WHAT? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
Yeah, yeah... I love you, too.