Sunday, 18 February 2018

the pragmatist

"You're ever the optimist Seville, aren't you."

Are you askin' me a question, there, Mason?  Or are you just callin' me names?  Or are...  Wait a minute.  Callin' me an optimist isn't callin' me names.  Least not in a bad way.  So uh...  Exactly about what am I bein' optimistic, pray tell.

"Well I see you've placed an order to Nip Seeds & Stuff."

Actually, what I really did was place ANOTHER order to Nip Seeds & Stuff.  The first two orders, they messed up.

"They did?  How?"

They sent the seeds to the peep.  MOUSES!

Mason furrowed her brow.  "How was that messing things up?"

You have met the peep, right?  You do know 'bout her lack of nip-growin' skills?  Sendin' nip seeds to the peep is like pushing 'em in front of a firin' squad or somethin'.  Peep #1 has never met a nip seed she couldn't kill.  MOUSES!

Mason nodded in agreement.  "Then why are you placing another order?  Won't she kill those seeds as readily as she killed the others?"

If she gets her paws on 'em, she will.  Thing is, THESE SEEDS, I'm gonna plant myself.  I'm gonna make sure these little babies are planted right.  MOUSES!

"Have you ever actually planted anything before, Seville?  When it comes to gardening, you usually take on more of a supervisory role."

You take that back.  I've gotten my paws dirty MORE than once.  I've dug my fair share of holes in the garden beds, for sure.

Plus, occasionally...  Occasionally I've even been known to assist with the fertilizin', too.  MOUSES!

"FYI Sivvers, the peep doesn't consider what you left amongst the primroses to be fertiliser," Mason scowled.

Poop is poop, Mason.  I don't make the rules.  MOUSES!

But anyway...  Anyway, what else am I supposed to do?  And I'm talkin' about the growin' the seeds myself bit, not that other...  You know...  Other unmentionable thing.  It's not like I can teach the peep how to grow nip. 

Or CAN I...

Hmmm...

Nah, I tried signin' her up for that course or whatever it was on Facebook, but it turned out to be a class in growin' grass, and NOT the kinda cat grass we cats like, but that other kind.  You know...  The pans and skillets type.

"For the love of mouses, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT Seville?  Seriously, sometimes I wonder about you."

And sometimes I wonder 'bout you, too, Mason.  Like how come you can't understand a simple explanation of the facts when I explain 'em to you.  Fact is, I signed the peep up for some kinda Facebook course or event on growin' legalised non-cat cat grass, and she TOTALLY IGNORED it, for sure.  She just clicked the delete button like it had never even been there.  MOUSES!

And that, sister dear, is why I HAVE TO TAKE MATTERS into my own four paws, and grow these babies myself.  MOUSES!

"Whatever."  Mason rolled her eyes.  "Do you have some pots?"

I TOLD YOU, I DON'T NEED NO POTS!

Oh, you mean like flower pots, don't you.  Heheh...  heh...  Uh, yeah.  I have the flower pots the peep used when she killed off the first two batches of seed.  Plus, I have her leftover pottin' mix.  At least I know where it is.  So you see, I'm all set.  As soon as my third nip seed order arrives, I'm good to go.  MOUSES!

"Where are you going, Seville?" Rushton asked as he walked into the room.  "Anywhere nice?"

"Seville is ordering more catnip seed, Rushy," explained Mason.

"You're quite the optimist there, aren't you?" asked Rushton.  "Didn't Peep #1 just kill a bunch of nip seeds?  Are you really going to get her MORE seeds to kill?  Or have you deluded yourself into thinking that THESE ones, she'll manage to grow?"

I just finished explainin' all this stuff to Mason, and I'm not about to explain it all again.

MOUSES!

"Suit yourself," grumbled Rushton, "but I think you're being far too optimistic if you think the peep can learn how to grow catnip.  She has a track record, you know.  And it's not very good."  With that, Rushy turned and left the room.

Maybe I am bein' too optimistic...

Nah, that can't be right.  In fact, I don't think I'm bein' optimistic at all.  If I were bein' optimistic, I'd paw these seeds over to the peep when they arrived, thinkin' she could grow 'em herself.

Maybe what I'm bein' is pessimistic.  Maybe I'm bein' too pessimistic, thinkin' the peep is incapable of ever learnin' how to successfully grow the nip.

Nah, that can't be right, either.  As Rushy said, the peep has a track record.  And it's not very good.  MOUSES!

What I'm really bein' is...

I do believe...

I do believe that what I'm really bein' is a PRAGMATIST.

That's right.  I've accepted the reality of the peep's many failures, and I'm doin' somethin' about it.

MOUSES!

34 comments:

  1. Sometimes ya just have to take over, Pal. We know. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Maybe your peep needs to watch, "THE MARTIAN" with Matt Damon. That'll set 'em straight aifinkso. ;)

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    2. I don't think she saw that movie. You think she should? purrs

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  2. And you're darn wise too, seriously!

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    Replies
    1. Awww... Thanks. You wanna mention that to the peep? purrs

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  3. I am sure you can go the best nip around Seville.

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    1. I'm confident I shall be better at it than the peep. Of course, that bar is not very high. MOUSES!

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  4. Wow, we are very impressed with your efforts! Let us know how it goes.

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    1. I will! Of course, if all goes well, when I DO let you know, I will be nipped. MOUSES!

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  5. Alexandra Miller
    I guess if we want things right we just have to do it ourselves! purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too true. Peeps are so useless at so many things. MOUSES!

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  6. I hope you get your paws on those nip seeds this time, Seville!

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    Replies
    1. The parcel is supposed to come addressed to me this time. ONLY me. No one else. No one named "Peep." purrs

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  7. There s an old cat saying that applies, that is, ‘Too many -ists, spoil the nip!’. Of coarse theorists would argue differently. Mol
    Toodle pips and purrs
    Erin

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    1. They sure would! Of course, those theorists are always arguin' about EVERYTHIN'. MOUSES!

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  8. MOL, ya just gotta do it yourself!

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    Replies
    1. Yup, gotta take matters into my own paws. All FOUR of 'em! purrs

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  9. Seville, unfortunately, I despair that you'll ever get home-grown nip!

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  10. I really hope you manage to grow your nip.Good luck Seville. Purrs x hugs.

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    Replies
    1. It's pretty safe to say the peep won't be growin' it so yeah, it's gonna be up to me. MOUSES!

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  11. Good luck with those seeds, Seville ! We hope you can get great nip ! Purrs

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    1. Me too. I mean, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY PEEP that she cannot grow me nip? MOUSES!

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  12. We cats do know how to dig - we've got lotsa litterbox experience with that - seems like digging in the dirt to plant seeds is a NATURAL! Seville I think you CAN do this!

    Hugs, Teddy

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    1. I TOTALLY agree! It's like gardenin' is in our genes. If we wore jeans, that is. MOUSES!

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  13. Seville, YES! You can do it and I have complete faith in you for excellent results. Anip pawty might be in order by and by.

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    Replies
    1. Oohhh... Wouldn't it be wonderful? I shall invite you, for sure. purrs

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  14. How hard can it be?!?! Then again, our Momma fails at growing plants too ...

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    Replies
    1. Thing is, Peep #1 grows lots of OTHER things. But when it comes to nip... There's somethin' seriously wrong with her, for sure. MOUSES!

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  15. I'm sure you will make a success of it Seville. I hope you don't mind me saying, but it was probably a good thing your peep deleted that course on growing that pots and pans grass.

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    1. You think so? I mean... Well... Hey, if her pan and skillet growin' skills are anythin' like her nip growin' skills... It's not like she'd actually be growin' ANYTHIN'. You know? purrs

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  16. Taking the matter into your own paws, Severs, is just the thing to do. And I do believe you will excel & grow trophy-sized nip plants! You'll have to throw a pawty then! Purrs!

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    1. Those would be BIG trophy, trophy-sized plants, right? PURRS

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