Hey Andy! What's with the big pile of orange fur on the dinin' room floor? You know anythin' about that?
I don't know why it's there, Andy. That's why I'm askin' you. It looks like you gave birth to a freaky long-haired marmie kitten or somethin'.
Hmmm... You DIDN'T DO that, did you Andy? Give birth to a kitten? I mean, I have enough troubles dealin' with two long-haired marmie freak brothers as it is. Last thing I need, is a long-haired marmie freak nephew, too. MOUSES!
Yeah, yeah... I know you're a boy. And yeah, yeah... I know boys don't have kittens. BUT I ALSO KNOW you're a long-haired marmie FREAK, so... So who knows if you can have kittens or not. MOUSES!
Oh yeah, you've already been neutered. Whew.
So anyway... What IS with the big pile of orange fur on the dinin' room floor? You sure you didn't have anythin' to do with that?
You didn't, huh?
Hey Rushy! What's with the big pile of orange fur on the dinin' room floor? You know anythin' about that?
And you're her allowin' her to do that?
What's wrong with lettin' the peep give you a lion cut, you ask?
ARE YOU MAD?
I'll tell you what's wrong with that.
First of all, the peep knows NOTHIN' about givin' cats haircuts. Mouses man, she doesn't even cut her own hair! And you're allowin' her to cut YOURS?
And second of all...
Wait a minute. Just wait a cotton pickin' mousin' minute. Rushy, there's a BIG PILE of orange fur on the dinin' room floor, and you SAY that the peep has been cuttin' your fur. But... Turn around, Rushy. Do a little spin. Just as I thought. Rushy, where did all that fur come from? You don't appear to be missin' any at all.
You mean to say that ALL THAT FUR came from that wee little spot there on your side?
Mouses Rushy, you really are a freak.
Huh, I appear to be at a loss for words. Who would have thought it possible.
Okay, I have some words now. Rushy, when Andy got his lion cut a couple years ago, he had to have it professionally done. As in bein' done by a professional. You know, like someone who knows what they're doin'. But instead of that, you're allowin' the peep to do yours?
Peep cheap out on you or somethin'? That why she's doin' it herself? She's too cheap to pay someone to do it properly?
'Cause let me tell you somethin', Andy. Judgin' by the speed at which she's goin', she's gonna be givin' you that lion cut for several weeks to come. I mean, by the time she's finished, it'll be time to start all over again.
And how come you're gettin' a lion cut, anyway? Did you ASK her to shave off your fur?
Oh yeah. I forgot. You wouldn't let the peep comb out the mats when they were small, and now they're out of control.
Well Rushton, that's what happens when you're a freak.
Yeah, yeah... Peep #1 told me to stop callin' you and Andy freaks. But Peep #1 has told me a lot of things, Rushy. What can I say? I don't pay any attention to her when she talks nonsense like that. MOUSES!
Well Rushy, let me ask you this. You're allowin' Peep #1 to give you a haircut, right? You're ALLOWIN' her to do that. ALLOWING. As in... As in lettin' her do it?
Yeah, well in my books, that makes you a freak.
So anyway... What's it like, Rushy? What's it like havin' the peep give you the feline equivalent of a human kid bowl cut?
You LIKE the peep groomin' you with the electric groomer?
IT FEELS GOOD?
Well gosh darn it, now I wanna let the peep give ME a haircut, too.