Sunday, 25 February 2018

the orange fur

Hey Andy!  What's with the big pile of orange fur on the dinin' room floor?  You know anythin' about that?

I don't know why it's there, Andy.  That's why I'm askin' you.  It looks like you gave birth to a freaky long-haired marmie kitten or somethin'.

Hmmm...  You DIDN'T DO that, did you Andy?  Give birth to a kitten?  I mean, I have enough troubles dealin' with two long-haired marmie freak brothers as it is.  Last thing I need, is a long-haired marmie freak nephew, too.  MOUSES!

Yeah, yeah...  I know you're a boy.  And yeah, yeah...  I know boys don't have kittens.  BUT I ALSO KNOW you're a long-haired marmie FREAK, so...  So who knows if you can have kittens or not.  MOUSES!

Oh yeah, you've already been neutered.  Whew.

So anyway...  What IS with the big pile of orange fur on the dinin' room floor?  You sure you didn't have anythin' to do with that?

You didn't, huh?

Hmmm...

Hey Rushy!  What's with the big pile of orange fur on the dinin' room floor?  You know anythin' about that?

She is?

Really?

And you're  her allowin' her to do that?

MOUSES!

What's wrong with lettin' the peep give you a lion cut, you ask?

ARE YOU MAD?

I'll tell you what's wrong with that.

First of all, the peep knows NOTHIN' about givin' cats haircuts.  Mouses man, she doesn't even cut her own hair!  And you're allowin' her to cut YOURS?

And second of all...

Wait a minute.  Just wait a cotton pickin' mousin' minute.  Rushy, there's a BIG PILE of orange fur on the dinin' room floor, and you SAY that the peep has been cuttin' your fur.  But...  Turn around, Rushy.  Do a little spin.  Just as I thought.  Rushy, where did all that fur come from?  You don't appear to be missin' any at all.

Seriously?

You mean to say that ALL THAT FUR came from that wee little spot there on your side?

Really?

REALLY?

Mouses Rushy, you really are a freak.

Huh, I appear to be at a loss for words.  Who would have thought it possible.

MOUSES!

Okay, I have some words now.  Rushy, when Andy got his lion cut a couple years ago, he had to have it professionally done.  As in bein' done by a professional.  You know, like someone who knows what they're doin'.  But instead of that, you're allowin' the peep to do yours?

Peep cheap out on you or somethin'?  That why she's doin' it herself?  She's too cheap to pay someone to do it properly?

'Cause let me tell you somethin', Andy.  Judgin' by the speed at which she's goin', she's gonna be givin' you that lion cut for several weeks to come.  I mean, by the time she's finished, it'll be time to start all over again.

MOUSES!

And how come you're gettin' a lion cut, anyway?  Did you ASK her to shave off your fur?

Oh yeah.  I forgot.  You wouldn't let the peep comb out the mats when they were small, and now they're out of control.

Well Rushton, that's what happens when you're a freak.

MOUSES!

Yeah, yeah...   Peep #1 told me to stop callin' you and Andy freaks.  But Peep #1 has told me a lot of things, Rushy.  What can I say?  I don't pay any attention to her when she talks nonsense like that.  MOUSES!

Plus...

Well Rushy, let me ask you this.  You're allowin' Peep #1 to give you a haircut, right?  You're ALLOWIN' her to do that.  ALLOWING.  As in... As in lettin' her do it?

Yeah, well in my books, that makes you a freak.

MOUSES!

So anyway...  What's it like, Rushy?  What's it like havin' the peep give you the feline equivalent of a human kid bowl cut?

It is?

Really?

You DO?

REALLY?

You LIKE the peep groomin' you with the electric groomer?

IT FEELS GOOD?

Well gosh darn it, now I wanna let the peep give ME a haircut, too.

MOUSES!

28 comments:

  1. OMC! If you all get lion cuts you could start up your own wildlife park. Come to think of it, that could be a way to earn some nip money.

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    1. Oh. My. Mouses. IT COULD! That is THE MOST BRILLIANT idea, EVER!!! purrs

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  2. Every once in a while a kitten starter kit shows up here too!

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    1. They do? You think it's an invasion or somethin'? MOUSES!

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  3. It just makes me happy I has short hair!

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    1. You have a good point there. I'm pretty happy 'bout that, too. purrs

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  4. Oh, we do so hope this ends well. Usually when the peeps have cutting implements in their hands... we end up looking kinda seriously freaky!

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    1. I know! They're not very skilled with those things, at all. MOUSES!

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  5. Maybe Andy and Rushy are like gremlins, you know, don't get them wet, don't feed them after midnight. You might want to put that "extra" fur in a cage while you watch the Gremlins movie. Don't watch it alone, it's scary. ;)

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    1. Gremlins, huh? Hmmm... Yup, I can believe that, for sure. MOUSES!

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  6. Whoa!!! I wish I had enough hair to get a lion cut! Now if it was Kozmo...you could take enough hair off of hum to knit another cat and he would not look like any was missing. I could send Kozmo there and you could shave him and bill him as a black panther in your wildlife park!!!
    Purrs
    Marv

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    1. Oohhhh... WHAT A PLAN! I shall send for him by teleportation device tonight. MOUSES!

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  7. My tweet furr-iends get those lion cuts. I don’t know though, Severs. I think it would get a little drafty don’t you? I say take the groomin’s sans cut. Tee hee hee! Tummy tickles! -Valentine (& Mom) Noir Kitty Mews

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    1. Yeah, 'cause those two long-haired freaks have draft protectors, you-know-where. But now... Well let's just say, Rushy is airin' you-know-where out! purrs

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  8. Hmm.... maybe with all that spare floor, your peep could make some small versions of you, and sell them on the internet ! Of course the boys would have to keep growing hair and being shaved but they seem to like it.
    Toodle pips
    ERin

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    1. They do, you know? Weird, that. Rushy says it feels good but then... Well... Well he's a freak, you know? MOUSES!

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  9. Seville your fur is gorgeous and I bet it's easier to look after than Rushy,s. x😻🐾🐾

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  10. We have these wonderful black fur tumbling tumbleweeds that show up outta nowhere, even after a good sweeping! Guess you all have orange ones...

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    1. We should get together at Hallowe'en! Orange and black... PURRS.

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  11. It is not nice to call your siblings freaks. You are lucky your fur is easier to care for. :)

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    1. I am lucky 'bout that but... But the two bros are still freaks whether I call 'em that or not. MOUSES!

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  12. Lexy and I don't have enough fur to get lion cuts. Thank catness!

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    1. I don't either. Just the two bros with the long hair at our house. purrs

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  13. I suppose when there's a pile of orange fur laying around, it's kind of hard to tell who's it is in your house!

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    Replies
    1. Yup. Andy and Rushy both have the very same kind. purrs

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  14. VERY NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.