So there I was sittin' in the kitchen, waitin' for some treats, when...
When I happened to see my brother, Rushton, walkin' past my other brother, Andy.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', what's the big deal about that?
Well for starters, when Rushton walked past Andy, Andy gave him a smacky paw, right in the keister.
Now seriously folks, I wouldn't be puttin' my paws anywhere near that long-haired marmie freak of a brother of mine's keister, for one never really knows where his keister may have recently been.
But Andy, bein' Andy, can't resist smacky-pawin' anyone as they walk past. Sometimes he gets you in the leg. Sometimes the side. And SOMETIMES, the keister.
Well the next thing was, Rushy was rushin' over to me, complainin' about Andy. "Did you see that? Did you see what he did? Did you see..."
I held up a paw in protest. In protest of my havin' to listen to his complaints, that is. "I, Seville the Cat, saw exactly what Anderson did," I told him. "But to tell you the truth, Rushy, what one long-haired marmie freak of a brother does to another long-haired marmie freak of a brother, is of no interest to me. MOUSES!"
"But, but, but..." Rushy began.
"But he got you in the BUTT, for sure," and I rolled on the floor, laughin'.
Seein' a pout beginnin' to form on my brother Rushton's face, I added, "But seriously, Rushy, it's not like you don't have protective paddin'. Andy couldn't have hurt you. I'm surprised you felt it at all. MOUSES!"
'Is that some kind of fat joke?" Rushton asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Not at all, mon frere. I am simply statin' the truth. You have... Well... Well you have ample paddin', to be sure. MOUSES!"
"Peep #1 says I'm just big boned," said Rushy, stampin' a paw. "Plus, I do have a whole lot of floof."
I shook my head in dismay. "Rushy, Rushy, Rushy... You weigh in at twenty pounds. There's no way that can all be accounted for by floof. MOUSES!"
Rushton sat on his butt - or should I say, keister - and gave me the look a two-year-old child gives his mother immediately prior to startin' a tantrum. "Don't complain to me," I told my long-haired marmie freak of a brother. "Not my fault Andy can't keep his paws to himself. Had I walked past him, he woulda smacky-pawed me in the keister, too. MOUSES!"
Rushton looked slightly cheered up by my little pep talk, so I continued.
"Of course, I woulda felt it more, for my keister isn't as well padded as yours. MOUSES!"
Well that did it. No sooner had I uttered that last statement, Rushy was up and about, threatenin' to smacky-paw ME!"
"Don't you get any ideas, you long-haired marmie freak of a brother of mine. I'm not the one who smacked you in the butt. You wanna get back at someone for that, you need to get back at the smacky-pawer himself, and that, mon bizarre confiture frere, would be Andy. MOUSES!"
Rushton sat back down for a moment, and mulled over what I had said.
Twenty. Minutes. Later...
Twenty minutes later, he had figured it out. "You're absolutely right, Seville. If I wanna get back at Andy for smackin' me, I need to deal with Andy himself."
"You got that right."
"I most certainly do! And do you know what I'm gonna do about it?" my brother asked.
Takin' a wild guess, I said, "Uh... Go talk to Andy, perhaps?"
"That's an even BETTER idea than what I was thinkin'," and Rushton squealed with delight.
Goodness knows what Rushy's original idea had been. MOUSES!
I looked at my brother, just sittin' there, not makin' a move. "Well uh... If you're gonna go talk to Andy, you're gonna have to get up off that butt of yours, and approach him."
"Good plan there, Sivvers," and Rushy was up and crossin' the room.
Now what happened next was not unexpected. Certainly not surprisin', in the least.
Rushton decided it would be best for him to talk to Andy, face to face, I suppose. And as Andy had his back to Rushy, Rushy walked past him, plannin' to spin 'round in order to talk, but...
But just as Rushy walked past...
Andy smacky-pawed him right in the keister.
hahahaha seems to be a normal thing for those long haired Marmies. Here in Serenity, Kramer is the smack-the-butt cat out in the yard. Trouble is there are two other long haired Marmies out there. Seems they don't pick so much on each other but Kramer does boss some of them around. Bossiness must be a Long Haired Marmie trait as well. However, Kramer does look after pretty much anything that comes in the yard that shouldn't, so even though he paws butts he also protects those same butts. Hugs and purrs Seville and Furfriends, from all of us in Serenity!!!!ReplyDelete
Oh yeah. Long-haired marmie freak brothers are super bossy, for sure, which is a problem on account of the fact that if ANYONE is gonna be bossin' others around, that anyone should me ME. MOUSES!Delete
A regular Peyton Place!ReplyDelete
Hmmm... You think my fur-sibs and I could get our own show? purrsDelete
Oh my! smacky paws and butt smacks. In our house it is ear nibbling, and phantom boxing. And when it gets out of paw the boys pounce on the girls and harrass them.ReplyDelete
Ear nibblin'? EAR NIBBLIN'? Oh my mouses, no. No one here has ever done that. purrsDelete
Poor Rushton, he's not the brightest cookie in the box is he?ReplyDelete
But you, Seville, are one of the smartest kitties we know.
Nope. Not at all. Unless you're talking 'bout a box of wacky cracker cookies, that is. purrsDelete
Oh my, fat jokes get me in trouble around here!ReplyDelete
You been makin' jokes 'bout your fur-sibs, my pal? purrsDelete
Well, of course that's the way it should have ended! Right in the end!ReplyDelete
Right in the end... In the end... The END. Like in a BUTT end. Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! purrsDelete
Oh Boy! I would have payed good catnip for a front ring seat on a smacky paw smack down at your place!!!ReplyDelete
Hmmm... Next time they're at it, I SHOULD SELL TICKETS! Yup, I should sell tickets, for sure. A kitty like me is always in need of money to buy extra nip, you see. purrsDelete
What I need to know is, did Ruston come back again to see you and complain, again? That would be deja vu, for sure MOLReplyDelete
It would have been just like him if he had. purrsDelete
MOL - Angel Maurice used to smack da mommas in da keister!ReplyDelete
He smacked your peep? In her keister? MOUSES!Delete
Boy, I missed some good catertainment it seems! Mouses!ReplyDelete
Never know WHAT'S gonna happen at my house, next, but it's always gonna be entertainin', for sure. purrsDelete
Well "turnabout is fair play" I'd say! Nobody's keister is safe around your house........ReplyDelete
That they aren't. I wonder if that's why the long-haired marmies like to make sure they have extra paddin' down there. Hmmm... purrsDelete
I feel bad for Rushton, poor kitty.ReplyDelete
Don't feel too bad. He gives it as good as he gets. BELIEVE me. purrsDelete
Aww, poor Rushton! First a a smacky paw in the keister, then dealing with a fat joke...and then another a smacky paw! He better watch where he's going. Or watch how he exits!ReplyDelete
And speakin' of exitin'... Once, he tried to "exit" through the upright bits of the veranda railin' and almost got himself stuck. MOUSES!Delete
HA HA thanks for the laugh - great postReplyDelete
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Bringin' a smile to my pals' faces is always my aim. PURRS.Delete
hehehehehe too funny! Rushy, perhaps you are just an easy target. Our Delilah gets smacky-pawed all the time around here, because she gives her brothers exactly what they're looking for - a dramatic reaction. Maybe if you just ignore that long-hairs marmie of a brother Andy, he would get so much joy out of smacky-pawing you...ReplyDelete
I shall pass along the advice but Rushy, bein' Rushy... Well... Well I'll pass it along. PURRS.Delete
OH my CAT those marmalade cats have a serious set of issues there Butt Butt Butt!!!!!!ReplyDelete
Honestly Seville, can't you intercede there??
I could, but... But what would be the fun in THAT? MOUSES!Delete
Siblings can be such a hassle! There's a dog that tries to play with Mr. N by smacking him in the face and he does not appreciate it.ReplyDelete
Dogs doin' smacky paws? Oh my mouses, no. No, smacky paws should be reserved for us kitties. PURRS.Delete
Rushton sounds like he is a pretty good sport, all things considered. My cat sometimes gives my dog a smack paw, but only when it is warranted.ReplyDelete
Only when warranted, huh? And that would be... ALL the time? purrsDelete
Fat jokes, butt smacking, sounds like our house! Only my feline sister Rosie is the one smacking everyone on the keister - mine in particular and she says the very same thing about me having extra padding.ReplyDelete
You have some extra paddin', too? MOUSES!Delete
LOL. Oh my. Never a dull moment with the siblings around.ReplyDelete
Never ever. Peep #1 sometimes says she lives in a mad house but I... Okay, so I really do have to agree. MOUSES!Delete
Too funny! Brulee smacks Truffle all the time when Truffle tries to slip up on her.ReplyDelete
Does she smack her in the butt? purrsDelete
Cute story! You should consider writing children's books!ReplyDelete
Books for peep kiddies or kittens like me? purrsDelete
Your cats have really interesting conversations :D There are mostly cat slaps at my house, but other than that it is pretty pieceful.ReplyDelete
Well we cats live pretty interestin' lives! purrsDelete
So so funny...reminds me of my pet sitting days with multiple cat households...someone was always getting MOUSES! lol.ReplyDelete
Hehehehe... Yup, that's the kinda thing we kitties like to do. MOUSES!Delete
Lol, this is so funny. Your cats live such fascinating lives, better than some humans!ReplyDelete