Talk about gettin' off on the wrong paw.
I mean, foot.
No, I think I mean paw.
So anyway, I bet you're all wonderin' what the peep did.
Where do I begin.
It all began yesterday afternoon...
What? What's that you're sayin', Peepers?
You were tired, you say? Tired? Tired as in, tired? Mouses woman, you had no reason to be tired. I, on the other paw, had EVERY reason to be tired. I missed one of my half dozen naps yesterday mornin', you know. And missin' a nap affects me so. Why, it's a wonder I wasn't goin' around, randomly smacky pawin' you, and my fursibs, and...
Oh yeah. I did do that, didn't I.
But you have to admit, Peepers, it's a wonder I wasn't doin' it more.
Now where was I? Oh yeah, yesterday afternoon, Peep #1 was all gettin' in my face and everythin', sayin' stuff like, "I thought I told you not to do that."
So I asked, "Do what?"
And she said, "Do that."
And then I said, "What was that, again?"
Now I, of course, meant what was that, that she was talkin' about. What was it I wasn't supposed to do.
But she thought I meant, I hadn't heard what she was sayin'.
And technically, I hadn't heard what she was sayin'.
Well I did hear her then. I did hear her when she was sayin' I wasn't supposed to be doin' somethin'. But I didn't hear her before, when she was tellin' me what it was I wasn't supposed to be doin'.
You know, on account of my havin' better ways to spend my time than listenin' to Peep #1 babble, 'bout goodness knows what she babbles about, on account of her constantly babblin' about nothin' even worthy of babbling.
So again I had to ask, "Peepers, what is it you do you not want me to do?"
And you can imagine my response when she answered with, "That."
Well like I said, you can imagine. But guess what, I'm not gonna tell you. At least I'm not gonna tell you word for word. Nope, no sirree. I'm not gonna tell you, on account of this here bein' a family-friendly blog, and my response was simply not family-friendly, at all.
Suffice it to say, the peep thought I was bein' cheeky. I wasn't bein' cheeky! I really was askin' her what I wasn't supposed to be doin'. Seriously, my friends, I had no idea. I HAD NO IDEA. Not even a clue.
So anyway, it was very clear to me, we were gettin' nowhere with our stupid ol' conversation, and I very helpfully told her so. And then I suggested, she give it a break.
Well that didn't go over too well.
So that's when I said, "Peepers, our stupid little ol' conversation, here, clearly got off on the wrong paw."
And things just went downhill from there.
But I, Seville the Cat, never one to go around givin' up on things, sat back on my haunches, looked up at the peep in the nicest way I could possibly muster after havin' missed one of my half dozen naps that mornin' - and therefore bein' understandingly, extremely tired - and I asked, "Peepers, are you havin' a bad day?"
The peep, bein' a peep, just looked at me in a weird kinda way.
So I looked right back at her, as weirdly as I possibly could - which is difficult for me to do on account of my bein' so dashingly handsome, and simply not inclined to look weird even when I try. But I did my best. My best to look weird, I mean, as difficult as it was for me to do.
Basically, I did my imitation of Andy when his upper lip gets caught on his lower fang, and it looks like he's sneering.
Problem was, it was me, not Andy. Gosh darn it. Even when sneering, I STILL look cute. I wasn't lookin' weird at all. Instead of weird, I was downright adorable. As usual.
Then the peep, bein' a peep, looked like she was gettin' distracted, and she started walkin' away. Can you believe it? Walking away from me. From me, Seville the Cat. And in mid-conversation, no less.
So to get her attention, I smacky pawed her right in the back of the leg. No claws, of course. Just a paw, in a friendly, smacky kinda way.
Well she spun right 'round and said, "Seville, I thought I told you not to do that."
"You don't want me to smacky paw you on the leg?" I innocently asked. "That's what you don't want me to do? Well why didn't you say so in the first place, woman?"