Careful Peepers! Careful where you put those feet of yours. They're right clodhoppers, for sure. MOUSES!
You cats out there ever notice how peeps are constantly puttin' their feet where their feet don't belong? I'm tellin' ya, it's happenin' across the nation in epidemic proportions, for sure. MOUSES!
Why just the other day...
Just the other day, Peep #1 was doin' some dishes at the kitchen sink, when she stepped back about an inch or so, and almost stepped on my sister Tess' tail.
Don't worry, she didn't actually step on it, but let me tell you, she came within a whisker's length of doin' so, for sure.
Tess, realizin' how close she came to havin' her tail stepped upon, started growlin' at the peep; although truth be told, Tess' growls are not unheard of in these here parts. I mean, Tess growls at the wind. MOUSES!
But it gets worse, my friends. Far, far worse.
After almost steppin' on Tess' tail, do you know what the peep did?
Better yet, do you know what the peep didn't do?
Well she didn't apologize to Tess. Nope, nor did she beg for her forgiveness. She didn't even promise to never almost accidentally step upon her tail again.
Instead, she told Tess to be more careful with what she was doin' with her tail.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? MOUSES!
Well Tess was none to pleased with the peep's response, I can tell you that. No sirree, she was none too pleased AT ALL. In fact, Tess responded by growlin' some more at the peep. MOUSES!
For some stupid ol' mousin', moused-up reason, peeps expect us cats to not put our tails in harm's way.
For some stupid ol' mousin', moused-up reason, peeps think we cats shouldn't be flickin' our tails, this way and that, in and around peeps' feet.
For some stupid ol' mousin', moused-up reason, peeps think we cats - and not peeps - should be thinkin' about the safety of our own tails.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? MOUSES!
If we cats can't rely upon peeps to watch out for our tails, what good is it havin' any peeps?
I mean... WE CATS HAVE RIGHTS.
It's true. I kid you not. It's right there in the Cats' Bill of Rights, you know. Right there where it says, "NO CAT shall be responsible to watch out for the whereabouts of his or her own tail, when there's a peep around who can watch out for the whereabouts of said cat's tail, for 'em." Yup, that's just what is says.
If we cats wanna lurk about peeps' feet, without 'em knowin' we're lurkin' about their feet, we are entitled to do exactly that. It says so right there in the Cats' Bill of Rights.
And if we cats wanna flick our tails back and forth, while we're lurkin' about peeps' feet, even though those peeps don't know we're lurkin' about their feet, never mind the fact they don't know we're flickin' our tails back and forth right around their feet, why we're entitled to do exactly that, too. It says so right there in the Cats' Bill of Rights.
And if we cats wanna...
What? What's that, Peepers? You think that our lurkin' about your feet, and flickin' our tails this way and that, while we're lurkin' about your feet, when you don't actually know we're lurking about your feet, is askin' for trouble? You do? Really?
Well do you know what? I AGREE WITH YOU.
Of COURSE it's askin' for trouble. 'Cause if you accidentally step on my tail while I'm flickin' my tail back and forth around your feet, while I'm lurkin' about your feet without your knowin' I'm lurkin' about your feet, YOU are gonna be in BIG TROUBLE, for sure.
That's kinda the whole point of this here blog post, Peepers. You know, how you peeps need to learn to watch out for our tails, even if you don't happen to know we're lurkin' about, right there by your clodhopperin' feet.
What the mouses did you think this blog post was about, Peepers?