Three wooly mammoths were sighted, early this mornin', in rural Nova Scotia.
MOUSES!
It's true. I saw it with my very own eyes. Early this mornin', I saw three wooly mammoths exitin' my house. That's right, they walked out through my very own front door, before walkin' down my very own front path.
Nah, it wasn't the peep. Hehehehehee...
Although truth be told, there has been many a mornin' when Peep #1's hair was lookin' quite wooly and mammothy, for sure. MOUSES!
But in this particular case, those wooly mammoths were actually three of my fur-sibs. You know, the ones with the long hair. That's right, my brothers Rushton and Anderson, and my sister, Tess.
And believe you me, this mornin', those three were lucky to have that long hair. Yup, very lucky indeed.
And do you know why?
Why to keep 'em warm, of course. MOUSES!
And do you know why?
Why to keep 'em warm, of course. MOUSES!
BREAKIN' NEWS... That ol' mousin' moused-up weasel-lovin' marmotty-marmot of a rodenty-rodent of a groundhog, lied.
That's right, my friends. HE LIED!
That's right, my friends. HE LIED!
Okay, so maybe that's not breakin' news after all. Maybe that isn't even news. Maybe...
Maybe we all knew of his habitual lyin', before.
MOUSES!
MOUSES!
Oh sure, a few weeks ago on Groundhog Day, that ol' mousin' moused-up weasel-lovin' marmotty-marmot of a rodenty-rodent of a groundhog, came out of his hole in the ground and he cried, "We're gonna have an early spring!"
He cried.
BUT HE LIED.
MOUSES!
'Cause do you know what happened last night?
Well have a seat, put your paws up, and I'll ya.
Last night?
IT SNOWED.
MOUSES!
Okay, so there wasn't all that much snow. It was really just a sprinklin', is all. Kinda like a dustin' of icin' sugar on gingerbread cookies, and the like.
Not that I eat gingerbread.
I mean, I may be a ginger-coloured cat, but a cat, my friends, I am.
And cats don't eat gingerbread. MOUSES!
Anyway...
Anyway, here we are on the second day of April, and that boatload of spring weather I was expectin' has never even set sail.
Or if it did, it hit an iceberg.
Or was thrown off course by a hurricane.
Or picked up by a tornado and...
And...
And MOUSES!
Where are my warm breezes?
Where are my sunpuddles?
WHERE IS MY SPRING?
BREAKIN' NEWS... Snow is totally unconducive to the arrival of spring.
MOUSES!
All I can say is, NEVER TRUST A RODENT. Especially not those of the marmotty-groundhog kind.
He cried.
BUT HE LIED.
MOUSES!
'Cause do you know what happened last night?
Well have a seat, put your paws up, and I'll ya.
Last night?
IT SNOWED.
MOUSES!
Okay, so there wasn't all that much snow. It was really just a sprinklin', is all. Kinda like a dustin' of icin' sugar on gingerbread cookies, and the like.
Not that I eat gingerbread.
I mean, I may be a ginger-coloured cat, but a cat, my friends, I am.
And cats don't eat gingerbread. MOUSES!
Anyway...
Anyway, here we are on the second day of April, and that boatload of spring weather I was expectin' has never even set sail.
Or if it did, it hit an iceberg.
Or was thrown off course by a hurricane.
Or picked up by a tornado and...
And...
And MOUSES!
Where are my warm breezes?
Where are my sunpuddles?
WHERE IS MY SPRING?
BREAKIN' NEWS... Snow is totally unconducive to the arrival of spring.
MOUSES!
All I can say is, NEVER TRUST A RODENT. Especially not those of the marmotty-groundhog kind.
😹😹 never trust a rodent they act like they are dead half the time and they are not! But how can they depend on a rodent for weather we still have snow! Seville you must get pcs of the mammoths 😹😹~Nephi
ReplyDeleteIt's true. Rodents are LOUSY weather forecasters, for sure. MOUSES!
DeleteI am glad that groundhog doesn't come over here to tell us when spring is coming. We have had a lovely warm day today, and it should last all week.
ReplyDeleteYou're so lucky! Weatherpeeps here are now sayin' that next week, we're gonna have three whole days of warmth and sunshine. Got my paws crossed they're right. purrs
DeleteWe are not at all impressed with those groundhogs either.
ReplyDeleteWe saw one in the yard and wanted to ask him "what gives" He was rude.
Purrs Georgia,Julie and JJ
One of 'em came right into your yard? MOUSES!
DeleteI never did trust that groundhog, but none of the weather guessers ever get it right!
ReplyDeleteYeah, weatherpeeps... groundhoggy rodents... All one in the same. MOUSES!
DeleteSnow? That is all kinds of wrong. That groundhog needs to be fired.
ReplyDeleteHe sure does. MOUSES!
DeleteSeville! I can tell you where your Spring is! It is at MY house!!! It sneaked out of cold old Canada and made its way to San Francisco is what it did. Sorry, but I am enjoying it a lot and I am not sending it back.
ReplyDeleteAwww..... NO FAIR!!! Can you send at least a bit of it back? purrs
DeleteThat groundhog lies all the time. We got snow too.
ReplyDeleteI think Lyin' might be his middle name. MOUSES!
DeleteI agree - can't trust any ground beasties 'cause they're actually zoms! My mom tends to look wooly mamothy, too, most days 'cause she has untamable curly hair!
ReplyDeleteUntameable hair, huh? How does she do when the weather gets humid? My Peep #1's hair goes, BOINGGGGGG!!! MOUSES!
DeleteThat's what my cats are asking too where is spring ! But they brought me already two mousies home and forgot about them !
ReplyDeleteI had to collect the corpses !
You had to collect the... Ewww... MOUSES!
DeleteWell Seville our Spring is nowhere to be found either....it will tease us from time to time with a day here and there of not cold as the north pole weather then WHAMMO it's back. We'd write a letter of protest if we knew where to send it!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Angel Sam and Teddy
Hmmm... You could try Channel 4 news. Just a suggestion. purrs
DeleteMammoths in Nova Scotia - I mean really?? Ginger ones too!
ReplyDeleteFrankly I am not surprised. Our summer was so late it's early for 2018 and winter may last a fortnight. I heard a rumour of 4 feet of snow further south so your cookie spprinkling might be a blessing in disguise!!!
Four feet of snow? FOUR FEET? MOUSES!
DeleteHmm I bet them weasels have been up to no good again! And are you sure those mammoths were Ruston, Anderson and Tess? I mean maybe they were squirrels in disguise trying to pinch some of your special special!
ReplyDeletePurrs, Erin
Too big for squirrels, I think.
DeleteWait a minute. Hold that thought. Our squirrels are actually pretty darned big. MOUSES!
We're sorry you still have snow ! That groundhog sounds tricky ! Purrs
ReplyDeleteYup, he's pretty darned tricky, for sure. MOUSES!
Delete*chuckle* on that news story! xo
ReplyDeleteI'm hopin' it gets picked up by all the major news outlets. purrs
DeleteYou really can't trust those guys. You know he's just sitting back, by the fire, teakettle just ready to whistle, cackling his head off.
ReplyDeleteTELL me about it! I can picture him doin' EXACTLY THAT, now. MOUSES!
DeleteGroundhogs can't be trusted. Then again, your woolly mammoth siblings are pretty sketchy too ... if there's trouble in your house ... it's probably one of them! ;)
ReplyDelete'Tis true. Those fursibs of mine are pretty darned sketchy, for sure. MOUSES!
DeleteStupid groundhog. You just can't trust them can you, Sivvers?
ReplyDeleteCan't trust 'em as far as you can throw 'em, and considerin' how I think they're bigger than me, I don't think I can throw 'em at all. MOUSES!
Deleteground hog, "schmound hog"...it is always and forever will be the fault of the species known to us cats as "peeps". Surely they can clean up their act, right?? After all, Mom Nature is watching just like us cats
ReplyDeleteYup. Those weatherpeeps on TV are of a totally different breed. Could they be... ALIENS? MOUSES!
DeleteFire the groudhogs--that's what we say--no way a cat would ever get it wrong!
ReplyDeleteSeriously. I paw over my ears and YOU KNOW it's gonna rain, for sure. MOUSES!
Delete