WARNING: The following post may prove hazardous to your...
Wait a minute. Who am I kiddin'? You're gonna laugh your tail off, for sure.
On the other paw, for some, the flinging of poopies is no laughin' matter. Especially if you happen to be on the receivin' end, if you know what I mean. MOUSES!
So anyway, I was pawin' around on the book of faces the other day, when I happened upon somethin' that caught my eye. A pal of the peep's made an analogy between the kind of peeps who go around leavin' adversarial comments on other peeps' Facebook timelines, and those monkeys who scream a lot and like to toss around their poopies - which are not to be confused with their cookies, for sure, for those are a totally different matter. MOUSES!
So I did a little diggin' and...
What's that? NO. I was not diggin' around in the litter box. But considerin' the topic at paw, I can kinda see how you might have thought that that was where I was headin'.
So anyway, I was diggin' around, and I found out about a study performed back in the day.
And what did it say?
It said, the chimpanzees who fling the most poop are highly intelligent, compared to the other chimps.* MOUSES!
Apparently, poop-flinging is a legitimate form of communication.
Now you can kinda see how this all makes sense, right? I mean, if someone starts flingin' their litter box deposits at you, they're clearly communicatin' some displeasure.
I have to say, if someone were to start flingin' their poopies at me, I think I would pick up on the animosity right away. With the very first hit, I'd be pickin' up on somethin' there, for sure. You don't have to fling poopies at me twice, to get me to take a hint. MOUSES!
No one has ever flung poopies at anyone in order to express their respect or their admiration. MOUSES!
But to be perfectly honest, it's an extremely effective means of communication. Very much to the point, and not likely to be misunderstood. Even if it is a little messy.
And apparently, the more accurately the poopies are aimed, the better the chimps are at communicatin'.
Hit me in the face with somethin' like that, and I'm gonna understand you a whole lot better than if you happen to miss, and accidentally get the kitty next door.
Of course, there's no guarantee that a kitty on the receivin' end won't start flingin' somethin' back in return. And they very well might have even BETTER aim. MOUSES!
Interestingly enough, in that very same study, there was a link to another study, that found that chimps don't care much about havin' friends.**
This makes total sense 'cause in case you hadn't heard, flingin' poopies at others really isn't the best of ways to make pals. It is, however, a very good way to make an enemy or two. Maybe even three. MOUSES!
You know, peeps on the city executive of Montreal must be super duper communicators, for sure, 'cause if I'm to understand correctly, one of 'em flung a giant dog poop onto the top of a local bus shelter recently.*** Now this particular 'deposit' was made of plastic, but I think they were sendin' a message, nonetheless. The message they were sendin' was for peeps to clean up after their doggies.
Anyone know how you recycle somethin' like that? It's pretty big. Will it even fit in a bag for plastic recyclables? MOUSES!
Of course, sometimes the poopie flingers totally miss their mark.
Why, just the other day, Peep #1 spotted a bag of doggy doo doo that someone had tossed on the side of the road. Their doggy must have pooped, and they must have scooped, but instead of 'em takin' it home, they tossed it, bag and all, onto the street. Probably when no one was lookin'.
Who does somethin' like that, anyway? MOUSES!
Well let me tell you, if they were tryin' to tell anyone anythin' other than the fact that they're too lazy to carry their doggy doo doo baggies home, no one was listenin', for sure.
Of course, if I happen to catch 'em doin' that again, I'll be tossin' somethin' of mine. And I won't miss. I'll make mousin' sure of that. MOUSES!
You know, I think peeps should be super relieved that we cats don't communicate like chimpanzees. We cats communicate with purrs and by rubbin' up against things, and occasionally, I admit, our claws. But we do not go around flingin' stuff out of our litter box...
Eh... Scratch that.
We do not go around flingin' our unmentionables from our litter boxes. Litter, itself, gets flung around. Gets flung around a lot. Really, a lot. Like really, really, REALLY, a lot. But at least it's always clean.
When you think about it, an occasional hiss or a fizz, or even a spit, sounds pretty good considerin' how we could be communicatin', if we chose to communicate like chimps. You know I'm right. In comparison, hissin' and spittin' and fizzin' sounds pretty darn good, for sure. MOUSES!
* Researchers find poop-throwing by chimps is a sign of intelligence, Bob Yirka, 2011.
** Chimps don't care about friends, Joan Silk, 2005.
*** City opposition steaming over giant plastic dog poop, CBC, 2016.