where are you now?

Oh.  My.  Mouses.  MOUSES!

Where is it?  WHERE IS IT?  MOUSES!

Is it inside?  Is it outdoors?  Is it...  Is it in my office?  On my right?  On my left?  In front of me?  Behind me?  Where? WHERE?  OH MY MOUSIE MOUSIN' MOUSES!

Oh for mousin' out loud.

Ah-ha!  I've got you now.  I know where you are.  I'm comin' to get ya.  I'm...

What the mouses?  You're not there.

Wait a minute.  Now I've got you.  You're over here.  You're here, in this corner of the room.  You're...

You're not here?  MOUSES!

So if you're not over here.  And you weren't over there.  You're...

WHERE ARE YOU?

You have some kind of stereo system goin' on, allowin' you to appear to be in two places at the same time?  Or are you throwin' your voice?  Or are you...

MOUSES!  MOUSES!  MOUSES!

PEEEEEEPERS!  Peepers, I need your help.  It's drivin' me mad.  It's drivin' me nuts.  It's drivin' me nuttier than the nuttiest of squirrels.  It's drivin' me crazier than squirrels makin' nut pies kind of crazy, for sure.  It's...  MOUSES!

I can't help it, Peepers.  I can't help but to stomp my paws in frustration.  I'm ready to explode like a bottle of pop rolled around on its side, shaken and shaken until one can shake it no longer.

No Peepers, I am not exaggeratin'.  I'm not exaggeratin' at all.  There's...  THERE'S...  THERE'S...

There's a cricket loose in this here office of mine, and it's hoppin' from one place to another.  Yet I can't see it sittin', nor can I see it hoppin'.  I haven't even seen it doin' a jig.  In fact, I can't see it at all!

BUT I CAN HEAR IT.

Wait a minute!  Did you hear that, Peepers?  Did you hear that cricket callin' my name?  It's over there now.  Can you see it?  Can you find it?  Can you find that dastardly cricket over in that there corner?  Over on that side of my office where...

WAIT A MINUTE!  Now it's over here.  Now it's over on this side of the room.  Now I'm hearin' it chirpin' and cheepin' and cheepin' and chirpin' and dancin' its merry little jig, while it fools me once more and...

Okay.  Calm down, Sivvers.  Breathe deeply.  Let me close my ears and listen very, very carefully.  It's...  IT'S... IT'S....

OH MY MOUSES!  IT ISN'T THERE EITHER!

It's not here.  It's not there.  It's not anywhere.  And yet, it's EVERYWHERE, to be sure.  It's...

Magic?  Peepers, can crickets be magic?  Could this be a magical cricket doin' some sort of ventriloquist's act right here in my office?

Or might there be two...

Could there be two dastardly crickets in this here office of mine, chirpin' and cheepin' and cheepin' and chirpin' and basically drivin' me mad?

Or possibly three.

Or might it be the smoke detector?  Smoke detectors are tricky like that.  You know, when their batteries are runnin' low and they start chirpin' like crickets who are intent on drivin' kitties insane.

PEEPERS!  WE HAVE AN INFESTATION OF SMOKE DETECTOR IMPERSONATING VENTRILOQUIST CRICKETS IN MY OFFICE!

What-oh-what should we do?

Or perhaps we have a cricket impersonatin' smoke detector or...  OR...  OR...

Peepers!  Where are you goin'?  DON'T LEAVE ME NOW.  Please-oh-please don't leave me here alone with this cricket.  Or crickets.  Or infestation of crickets.  Or...

PEEEEEEEEPERRRRS!!!!!

Now listen up here you cricket, you stupid cheepin' chirpin' cricket, you.  I've had enough.  I, Seville the cat, am ordering you to identify your whereabouts right here and right now.  I'm orderin' you to tell me exactly where you are.   And the longer you take, the worse off you will be 'cause let me tell you, I've just about had it up to my whiskers with your voice throwin' chirps and your...  YOUR... YOUR...


Awwwwwwww... 
MOUSES!

PEEEEEEEEPERRRRS!!!!!  Wait up! Wait up for me!!!  That cricket is drivin' me mad.  I can't stay in my office for one moment longer for if I do, I'll go crazier than crazy can be.

Why...  I'll go crazy...  Like YOU.  I'll go crazy like you, Peepers.  You know, I'll go your kind of crazy, for sure.

And we can't have now, can we.   MOUSES!