Of all the ungrateful, unappreciative...
Hey there kitties. Do you have problems with your peeps not appreciating you? Not appreciating when you help 'em and stuff? You know, when you lend 'em a helpin' paw?
Are your peeps constantly underestimating the value of your assistance?
Do your peeps recognize when you're bein' helpful and say, thank you very much, kind Sir, or...
...Or do they behave like mine. MOUSES!
My peeps are the most ungrateful, unappreciative peeps there ever were. I swear! Yup, if there were ever a contest for ungratefulness and all-round lack of appreciation, my peeps would win said contest, PAWS DOWN. Well hands down, I suppose, as they have hands instead of paws, but you get the idea, I am sure. MOUSES!
Why just the other day, I was bein' ever-so-helpful, and started work on those pansies growin' along the side of the driveway. With the heat and everythin' of the last few weeks, they've been lookin' pretty shabby. Actually, shabby is a bit of an understatement. Half-dead is more like it. For some stupid reason, Peep #1 forgot that when it's super hot out, and doesn't rain much, you've gotta water the pansies.
NO, I did not quench their thirst by peein' on 'em.
I started digging 'em up. MOUSES!
Anyway, you should have heard the words the peep used. Mouses this and mouses that. I could barely get a word in edgewise! Like I said, I have super ungrateful and unappreciative peeps.
And it's not like she doesn't have more pansy babies waitin' to take their place. I mean, she has a whole tray of 'em! But she can't plant 'em out until the old, half-dead ones are removed, so you see my friends, by diggin' up those plants, I was HELPIN' the peep out, for sure.
In fact, if you think about it, I did all the hard work. Plantin' is easy. Diggin' 'em up? In this heat? Not so much.
I'll write up a bill for her in the morning. MOUSES!
Now I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', Poor Seville. Imagine havin' to live with a peep like that Peep #1. Imagine having to put up with such ungratefulness and stuff. Yes, I know you're all thinkin' that and I want you to know, I appreciate it very much.
But you know somethin'?
IT GETS EVEN WORSE!
Just the other morning, around dawn...
Well I think it was around dawn. I'm sure I heard a birdie or two singing, although the sun could barely be seen.
Anyway, the other morning around dawn, I realized that at that time of day, it was still nice and cool outside and I thought to myself, what a great time of day this would be to take a little stroll around the yard.
Problem was, Peep #1's alarm clock had not get gone off. I think it was broken or somethin'. MOUSES!
So I, Seville the Cat, being the ever-so-helpful cat that I am, gave Peep #1 a gentle little nudge on her face, with my paw.
Now it's NOT MY fault, my gentle little nudge didn't wake her up 'cause she had been up late the night before. Not my fault at all.
So I gave her a whack. Well that did it, for sure.
Did I mention it was already dawn? Well almost. Well I think almost dawn.
Did I mention I think I heard a birdie singing?
NO, not an owl hooting. A birdie. The kind that sing in the wee hours of the mornin'. MOUSES!
I should also mention somethin' else. About this singing... About this singing I thought I heard a birdie doing. That singing was NOT what the peep sounded like at all. I believe, if I am not mistaken, I heard the word mouses. MOUSES!
So anyway, Peep #1 didn't get up. Instead, she rolled over and told me to go back to bed. Back to bed? Why would I go back to bed when it was already time to get up?
A kitty helpin' out a peep by actin' like her alarm clock, 'cause hers is OBVIOUSLY broken, deserves a thank you at the very least and certainly does NOT deserve a Go back to bed Sivvers because I'm not letting you out until morning.
Did I mention 'bout that birdie I thought I heard singing? Clearly it was gettin' ready to be dawn.
I should write up a bill for acting as her alarm clock, too. Maybe if she sees it in writing, she'll learn to be a little more appreciative. MOUSES!
But wait. THERE'S MORE.
The other day, I accidentally knocked some stuff off the nightstand. Well that's what the peep said. Really...
Really, I was dusting.
Like seriously, does the woman not know which end of the duster to use? I mean... REALLY?
Look, truth is, the nightstand looked a little dusty and I said to myself, Seville, be a nice kitty and dust off the top of that nightstand. Peep #1 will say thank you, for sure. So I got right to work and BY ACCIDENT, the alarm clock...
MOUSES! I bet that's why that ol' alarm clock didn't go off the other morning. I was right. It IS broken, for sure.
Anyway, I got right to work dusting, and the next thing I knew...
The next thing I knew, I heard the peep sayin' somethin' about mouses again. I mean, mice. No, I mean mouses, for sure. MOUSES!
But my point is this. Peep #1 was ungrateful and unappreciative, and that, my friends, is puttin' it mildly.
Anyone know how much peeps charge for dusting 'cause I'm thinkin' I should write up a bill for my dusting work, too. MOUSES!