Whew. That was close. That was a close call, for sure. MOUSES!
I don't know if you knew 'bout this or not, but yesterday was National Hug Your Cat Day and let me tell you, my friends, I barely made it out alive. MOUSES!
At my house, there's just way too much hugging going around on any day, never mind one actually called, National Hug Your Cat Day.
Those peeps of mine? They can't keep their paws off us! Peep #1 is the worst, for sure. Again I must say, MOUSES!
That first peep is constantly picking us up and kissing the tops of our heads and hugging us and whatnot. I swear I've been hugged in every room in the house save for, perhaps, the bathroom...
No... No... No. I've been hugged there, too. Why, just the other day I hopped onto the vanity to check out if someone might have left something up there for me to knock down and what happened? I'll tell you what happened. Even though there were plenty of things to biff off the counter top, I NEVER got the chance. That's right. Never got the chance at all and why? Well I'll tell you why. Because before I knew it, that ol' peep of mine, scooped me up into her arms, and what did she do?
SHE HUGGED ME. MOUSES!
I'm tellin' you, it's like she has some kind of condition or something. Like an addiction. Like she's addicted to huggin' us cats. MOUSES!
My bet is that right about now, you're probably thinkin' to yourself, Seville sure is usin' the word MOUSES! a lot today and if that actually is what you're thinkin', you'd be right about that, for sure. If you were gettin' hugged once, twice, three or four times a day, you'd be usin' the word MOUSES! a lot, too. Yup, I can practically guarantee it, for sure.
I'm sorry, did I say, a day? Meant to say, an hour. My mistake.
Now that's not to say she hugs me three or four times an hour, every hour. No, sometimes she's asleep. Yeah, the woman is in dire need of her beauty sleep, for sure, and let me tell you... THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT!
And, of course, sometimes she's not hugging me, personally. Sometimes she's hugging the other kitties living in this here house. I get a bit of a reprieve when she's off hugging others but sadly for them, they do not. MOUSES!
So anyway, last week, when I heard 'bout this National Hug Your Cat Day coming up, I thought to myself...
Actually, I pretty near fainted.
But after hauling myself back up off the ground, I thought to myself...
If Peep #1 goes around hugging us cats left, right and centre on normal days, what would she do on a day set aside especially for hugging? MOUSES!
It would be like the calendar was givin' her special permission to hug us all to death.
So first things first, I ripped the page for June right off the wall. So far, so good, as the peep hasn't noticed. Of course, she's going around thinkin' that today is Sunday July 3rd and wondering where-oh-where the month of June went and saying things like, "Doesn't time fly when you're having fun?" but I think if I ignore her for long enough, she'll stop asking such stupid questions. MOUSES!
But after I took care of business...
No, not that kind of business. MOUSES!
What I meant was, after I ripped the page for the month of June from the calendar, I took a moment to take some really deep breaths. The kind of deep breaths you can't possibly take while in the middle of hugging. Then I asked myself, if peeps get a National Hug Your Cat Day, what do WE CATS get?
I mean, we cats don't go around showing our affection by hugging our peeps.
Well Andy does but Andy is Andy and there's no explaining anything that brother of mine might do. MOUSES!
Personally, I prefer to show my affection by spraying a peep every now and then. You know, to mark 'em as mine although truth be told, just the other day, I was honestly wondering if I could return mine. Well technically, I wanted to do a trade-in for a new and improved model, but couldn't find any cats willin' to make an exchange. MOUSES!
Now if I'm being totally honest, my sprayin' doesn't usually go over all that well. But if I have to put up with all that huggin', they can put up with an occasional sprayin', for sure. MOUSES!
And it's not like I do it every day. Only once in a while. Once in a blue moon.
Okay, maybe more than once in a blue moon 'cause let me tell you, those blue moons are hard to come by and when it's overcast overnight, they can come and go without a kitty ever knowin', especially if you happen to be missin' pages from the calendar 'cause you had to rip 'em off the wall and... Well that's a missed opportunity, for sure. MOUSES!
So anyway, I'm thinkin' that if peeps get a National Hug Your Cat Day, we cats should get a National Spray Your Peep Day. It's only fair. Don't you think? MOUSES!