Well let me tell you, the peep has finally gone off her rocker. Not that she actually had a rocker from which to 'get off' as in this here multi-cat household, rockers are simply not allowed - on account of the tail thing - but if she had a rocker to get off, she would be off it, for sure. MOUSES!
Now I know what you're thinking. You thinking, what's new 'bout that? And to tell you the truth, you'd be making a good point.
Truth be told, I misspoke when I used the word finally. I mean, that kinda makes it sound like it was the first time Peep #1 had fallen off that ol' metaphorical rocker of hers and that, my friends, is simply not true. More like it was the first time she had gone off her rocker that day. Well... maybe that week. Yeah, that sounds about right, for sure. MOUSES!
Let me start from the beginning.
Last night, I wandered into the family room and what did my kitty cat eyes see? They saw Peep #1 knitting.
Was the peep knitting something useful like a nip mouse or a biff bag, you ask? Nope. No sirree. The peep was knitting a cowl. A cowl as in like a round kind of scarfy kind of thing. As in something you might wear in winter.
Now at this sight I stopped short and said to the peep, "What the mouses are you doing? Do you not know that today is the hottest day of the year? Got the ol' humidex goin' and everything."
And it was, my friends. It was! So far, yesterday, which was today when I originally asked the question, was the hottest day of 2016, here in the valley, in Nova Scotia.
Well that ol' Peepers just looked at me and said she was makin' a gift for someone. A gift that would keep 'em all nice and cozy, she said.
That's when I said, "All nice and cozy! Do you not realize this is the hottest day of the year? Peeps don't wanna be cozy. What they'll want is a fan. MOUSES!"
Of course, the peep ignored me, completely. Instead of answering my question, she finished up the cowlly scarf - or should that be scarfy cowl? - and put it away. Next thing I knew she was starting up something else.
So I looked in her knitting bag of tricks and saw that she was using a different kind of yarn and lo and behold, she had two balls of it going at the same time. MOUSES!
"Oh Peepers," I said. "You've got your yarns all mixed up and screwy. You making a fan like I suggested, earlier? An extra-thick one? That why you're using two balls at once?"
Peep #1 looked at me and said, "No, now that I've finished the cowl, I'm making a tea cozy."
"A tea cozy! MOUSES, WOMAN! Why-oh-why would my nip tea need a cozy to keep warm? I prefer it iced," I explained, even though she really should have known that already. MOUSES!
"It's not for you, Seville," said the peep. "It's a tea cozy for me. And not for nip tea, either. It's for black tea which I enjoy, hot."
I slapped a paw to my forehead 'cause for a brief moment there, I was speechless. Then I recovered.
"Your tea comes hot out of the kettle," I explained to the peep. "No need to keep it all nice and cozy. Besides, your cozy thing is gonna get all wet."
I sat there imagining that ol' peep of mine, placing a teabag on her cozy, and pouring hot water over the whole thing, making one really big ol' soggy mess. Then she'd have to squeeze the tea out of the cozy in order to drink it, and the mess she made would get even messier. MOUSES!
"The cozy goes on the teapot, Seville. The tea is in the pot. The cozy doesn't get wet."
So I thought about this for a moment or two, giving myself a good ol' scratch behind the ear, and then said, "Are you forgetting that today is the hottest day of the year? No need to keep ANYTHING all nice and cozy. What we're in dire need of are fans. Why can't you knit up one of those instead of your stupid cowls and tea cozies which are clearly meant for winter. MOUSES!"
Peep #1 just looked at me with a blank stare. Clearly, she was trying to respond and finding herself unable. Brain was likely trying to climb back up onto her metaphorical rocker, I suspect.
Taking pity upon that ol' peep of mine, who was obviously in denial of the summer weather, I put a paw on her hand and said, "It's okay, Peepers. Don't fret. If you need something cozy, I know exactly what to get. And it's appropriate for summer, too! I'll go find you a nice cozy mystery to read which will keep your heart all nice and cozy without making you feel like you're boiling to death."
And with that I trotted off to my office to get Ol' Peepers a nice cozy mystery to read so that she could put away her stupid knitting.
Let me clarify something. IF the peep were knitting nip mice or biff bags, her knitting would not be stupid but as she was instead knitting wintry stuff in summery weather, stupid it was, for sure. MOUSES!
So I brought the peep a nice book to read and then I thought aloud to myself, "OH MY MOUSES! I need to tell my readers who won the autographed copy of the amazing cozy mystery, Out of the Dying Pan, written by my pal, Linda Reilly!" I then tossed the new book onto the peep's lap and ran into my office to write this here blog post, to let everyone know 'bout the results of the draw.
Drum roll, please...
And the winner of the autographed copy of Out of the Dying Pan is my friend, Quinn! Quinn who writes the lovely blog, Catitude. CONGRATULATIONS QUINN!!!
Quinn, I need your address so that Linda can mail you your prize. If you would please leave it as a comment on my blog, I'll get the peep to write it down, then delete the comment before publishing, so that the whole world doesn't know where you live. Thanks.
And many thanks to everyone else who entered and ESPECIALLY BIG THANKS to Linda Reilly, herself, for offering to autograph a copy of her book for one of my readers to win. Thank you Linda!!! You really are THE BEST.