Like two ships in the night, my sister and I passed one another, only it wasn't nighttime as it was actually around noon, yesterday. And we weren't ships 'cause as you know, we're cats, and cats and ships are two totally different things. And, of course, it was the hallway where one does not usually expect to find any ships. Usually. Well I've never seen any in there yet. MOUSES!
So anyway, I was heading to the back door and Mason was heading to the front door, when she asked me where I was goin'. "To the back door," I explained. "I just looked out the living room window and it's a bright sunny day outside. I'm thinkin' I'll spend some outdoor time out on the deck. Where are you going? Wanna come out on the deck with me?"
"You're going to be in for a rude surprise," Mason told me. "I was just looking out the kitchen window, out back, and it's pretty cloudy out there. Looks like it's going to rain. Deck will be a washout, I'm afraid, which is why I'm about to fetch an umbrella from the front closet. I think I left a biff bag outside, last night, and I don't want it to get wet."
"Really? REALLY? But that can't be," I told Mason. "It's a beautiful day in the front yard. Back yard will be just the same."
"Boys," and Mason shook her head. "Silly, silly boys," she said in a sing-song voice. "It can't be nice in the front yard if it's stormy in the back. Seville, I have to ask. Are you nipped? It's only noon."
"I AM NOT NIPPED!" I said, stamping a paw. I grabbed Mason by the tail and dragged... encouraged her to follow me. "Come see for yourself. Bet it's beautiful out on the back deck."
But looking out the back door, I dropped my jaw in surprise. "But this can't be..."
"Told you!" Mason said triumphantly.
"But..." Grabbing my sister by the tail once more, she followed me to the front door, next to the living room, where I had been looking out a window earlier. Standing on our hind legs, we both looked outside. "See? I told you! Beautiful day out there, for sure."
Mason and I stepped back from the door and stared at one another for a moment before saying in unison, "It doesn't make sense."
Together, we tore through the house to the back door, once more, and looked outside again. Dark clouds hung overhead. Then we raced to the front door and again looked outside to find the sun shining and blue sky, everywhere.
"Meet me in the kitchen," I told my sister. "I think I need a snack. Or better yet, some nip."
I swallowed the last Treat Temptation before sitting back on my haunches. While flicking my tail with annoyance and tapping a claw on the floor, it struck me like a bolt of lightening might strike from one of those dark storm clouds hanging overhead in the backyard.
"Mason, do you know what this means?" I asked, shaking her so hard, some loose fur she was about to shed drifted onto the floor.
"Yeah," my sister answered. "Peep #1 will be using the vacuum in here when she sees my fur all over the kitchen floor."
I swished Mason's fur she had shed with my tail, and several hairs became airborne. One creamy-fawny coloured hair slowly drifted downward, and landed on my nose. I stared at it, mesmerized by the gall of a hair, that was not my own, landing on my very own nose.
"Careful Seville," Mason warned. "That cross-eyed look might just stick."
Blowing Mason's hair away with one strong huff followed by an even stronger puff, I grabbed her again and shook her some more. "Do you know what this means?" I asked, this time more excitedly.
"Get your paws off me, you ginger-haired marmie freak," Mason cried.
"That's redundant," I told Mason. "Marmalade cats are ginger and ginger cats are marmies and..."
"What about the freak part?" Mason asked. "Is that being redundant, too?"
Realising we were getting off-track, I asked Mason one last time, "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?" By now, I was jumping up and down with excitement and encouraging... yeah, encouraging her to do the same. "Mason, you and I have done it. We've done it, I tell you! We've found the proof."
"Proof of what?" and Mason squirmed out of my grasp. Peep #1 doesn't call her a squirmy-wormy for nothing, you see.
"Mason, for centuries cats have been running from back doors to front and front doors to back, trying to find better weather at one of them. You've done it. I've done it. We've ALL done it, numerous times. You get a peep to open the back door and find it's snowing. Then you get the same peep to open the front door, expecting the weather to be better, only to find it's snowing out there, too. Or it's raining at both doors or cold and windy or icky in some other way. Point is, we cats have been - FOR CENTURIES - expecting weather at different doors to be somehow different and yet, it never is... UNTIL TODAY," I finished. "MOUSES!"
"Seville, are you suggesting this is proof of the back-front, front-back, door-to-door weather paradox?" Mason asked.
"I'm not suggesting it," I answered. "I'm stating it as fact. Come on."
Once more, Mason and I hurried to the front door, this time venturing outside. The sun was shining and the sky was blue. We looked up. We looked way, way up.
"OH MY MOUSES!" we cried, clasping our paws to our cheeks.
Directly above our house was the biggest, blackest storm cloud either of us had ever seen.
Okay... Maybe not the biggest nor the blackest but it did kind of remind me of those storm clouds you see hanging over the houses of evil characters in cartoons and the like.
Actually, it really wasn't all that black. Not even really dark. Maybe a light grey? But it most certainly was a cloud and it was right there, hovering over our house.
I stood still, like a block of the iciest ice, before murmuring under my breath, "That there is a weather vortex, I do believe. A weather vortex connected to, and probably feeding, the back-front, front-back, door-to-door weather paradox currently existing in our yard."
"Actually Seville, I think it's just a cloud," and Mason spun on her tail and returned indoors. "Every cloud has to begin and end somewhere," she explained. "Just so happens that today of all days, its edge is hanging right over our house. It'll move. The wind will blow it away. Leave it to you to make a big deal out of nothing."
I followed Mason into the house, somewhat dejectedly. "I did not make a big deal out of nothing," I muttered to myself. "And I still think we've discovered proof that the paradox exists And I know for a fact that cats have been looking for this proof for years and...."
At that very moment, a loud crash was heard from overhead. Covering my ears with my paws I cried out to Mason, "Take cover! Lightening from a vortex connected to a back-front, front-back, door-to-door weather paradox is the most dangerous kind of lightening that can exist."
"Ohhh.... DON'T GET ME STARTED ON VACUUMS. Mason," and I wrapped a paw around my sister, leading her to the family room. "Did I ever tell you 'bout the time I discovered the connection between vacuums, vortexes and unexplained power sources possibly linked to alien abductions? It all started a couple of years ago when I..."
That's when Mason suddenly rolled her eyes so high it was as if they rolled right into the back of her head before yelling, in an odd and unexplainable tone, "BOYS!"