You know, when you live in a house with six other cats - not to mention a sometimes or rather, more often than only sometimes house guest also known as Nosey-Neighbour-Cat - things are bound to happen. It's like a law or something. Peeps have got to realize this and... Well... Just get over it, I should think. MOUSES!
Why just this afternoon, there was the sound of a tin falling down. Well technically, the sound was not of the tin falling but rather, of the tin hitting the floor but you get my drift, I am sure.
Anyway, Peep #1 heard it first and said, "Is Nosey-Neighbour-Cat inside?" Peep #2 wasn't sure but with the sound of the falling tin, one would think that he was. Turns out, he wasn't. At least he wasn't in the kitchen knocking things down. That would have been my brother Rushton.
Yup, Rushy was caught in the act of sneaking some of my tuna that was up on the kitchen counter.
Not that I don't share my tuna with my fur-fam. I do! In fact, I had already shared some of that very same tuna with Rushy less than an hour earlier and had instructed the peeps to leave a little for Anderson for when he woke up from his nap but unfortunately, after Rushy got to it, there was no more tuna to be had. MOUSES!
And what can we learn from this experience? Two things, in fact.
Firstly, it is possible that Nosey-Neighbour-Cat has been taking the blame for a lot of stuff he might not have actually done. Peeps hadn't realized that Rushy was prone to tiptoeing about on the kitchen counter, knocking stuff down. Prior to this event, they had always blamed the marauding intruder that is our neighbour.
NNC has been known to deny doing some of the stuff for which he had been previously blamed but we all always thought he was lying. Guess he wasn't. Guess he was really just the fall guy. Fall cat? Hmmm.. I'll have to have a little think on that.
And secondly, we now know that the Law of Inevitability applies to us cats. Actually, I already knew that but apparently, the peeps didn't. Let me explain.
Basically, the Law of Inevitability states that stuff is gonna happen. MOUSES!
Technically speaking, it doesn't state the MOUSES! part but really, I kind of think that it should. MOUSES!
Anyway, the thing is, stuff happens. Stuff has happened, stuff is currently happening and stuff is gonna happen and when you live in a house with six other cats - not to mention a sometimes or rather, more often than only sometimes house guest also known as Nosey-Neighbour-Cat - stuff is BOUND to happen, for sure.
For example, the tin of tuna. If you're a peep and you leave a half-full tin of tuna lying about on kitchen counter and there are seven, possibly eight, cats in the house... Yeah, like a child could have figured that one out. My peeps? Apparently, not so much. MOUSES!
Like I said, stuff happens.
But you know, whether you leave tins of tuna out or not, stuff is still likely gonna happen.
Christmas is just over a week away and we've written to Santa, asking him to bring us biff bags. You know, those little knitted bags filled with nip that we cats like to biff.
Now as there are seven of us, you'd think we might have asked for seven biff bags but if you're thinking that, you'd be wrong on that account. We did the math and taking into account the Law of Inevitability, we asked for twenty.
You're probably wondering why seven cats need twenty biff bags. We need twenty of 'em because, quite frankly, stuff is gonna happen. It's that moused-up Law of Inevitability, you see.
First of all, we decided that two bags each would be better than only one. The Law of Inevitability states that stuff is gonna happen and some of that stuff might very well have to do with slobber. Yup, it's a known fact that some of my fur-fam members like to slobber on their biff bags. Always nice to have a spare bag with which to play when your primary one is drying out, for sure.
So that accounts for fourteen bags but will fourteen do? No. You see, the Law of Inevitability states that stuff is gonna happen and some of that stuff might be that ol' Nosey-Neighbour-Cat honing in on our territory and wanting to spend Christmas Day with us, here at my house. If that happens, we'll need another two biff bags so that NNC has a couple bags for slobbering upon, too. MOUSES!
Okay, so fourteen plus two equals two plus nine plus... five all multiplied by nine and then divided by nine... Excuse the new-fangled kitty math, please. They keep telling us it's easier but Mason says it's like the Emperor's New Clothes all over again and I'm wondering what addition has to do with sewing but all that will have to wait for another blog post on another day, I should think.
So now we're up to sixteen. Will sixteen be enough? NO. The Law of Inevitability states that stuff is gonna happen, remember? Stuff. Stuff like a biff bag being lost under the couch or a burglar breaking into the house looking to steal all your bags full of nip or a fur-fam member peeing all over one because they think that will stop you from playing with it which it will but also stops them from playing with it so really, it's not such a hot idea when you think about it but some of my fur-fam members haven't quite figured that part out yet or...
Anyway, the bottom line is, when you know stuff is gonna be happening around you, it's best to be prepared with a few extra biff bags. MOUSES!
And how did I come up with four? Four extra bags? That part was easy. No new-fangled kitty math required. I just pulled it out of a hat.
Seriously, there was this hat lying on the cupboard floor and...
Well perhaps I should explain that another time 'cause when you think about it, it's kind of weird that the number four was hanging around in some peep's hat, lying on the cupboard floor. MOUSES!
But do you know what's even weirder than that?
Okay, neither do I but I do know this. I know that the Law of Inevitability is gonna come in handy around here, this Christmas and that, my friends, is for sure.
Someone tries to climb the Christmas tree and brings the whole thing down? Clearly, it was BOUND to happen. It's the Law of Inevitability!
And if someone gets a little too nipped up and misses the litter box? The Law of Inevitability strikes again!
And if more tins of tuna are knocked off the kitchen counter like snow falling in a snowstorm?
Well for that one, we might stick with blaming Nosey-Neighbour-Cat. I mean, his presence in my house has got to be good for something, right? And if NNC is not in the house at the time, we'll blame Rushy, NNC's new fall guy... fall cat? I still need to figure that one out. MOUSES!