Been a while since I mocked the peep so it's probably about time to do that again. MOUSES!
So the peep was out doing her little lumber jacking routine, last week. Taking out a few saplings that were growing under some larger trees. Taking them out, one at a time.
What's that Tess? No, she wasn't taking them out to a party. No... she wasn't taking them out shopping, either. Sisters. MOUSES!
Anyway, the peep had her trusty little twelve-inch saw thingy in her paw. Gosh it's little. My tail is longer than that saw. Suffice it to say, the peep's saw cannot be used for sawing anything bigger than a sapling and even then, it's kind of questionable. Let me explain.
So there she was, sawing and sawing and sawing when all of a sudden... BOINNGGG!!!
No Tess, the peep was not dancing. Yes, I'm sure. No, she wasn't dancing with the trees or the wolves or even the stars although truth be told, she might have been seeing stars after...
NO TESS, Peep #1 wasn't playing with pogo sticks, either. She wasn't the one who went BOINNGGG!!! That would have been the saw.
Now like I was saying before being so rudely interrupted by my sister Tess, the peep was sawing and sawing and sawing when all of a sudden... BOINNGGG!!! Pieces of saw were flying everywhere.
Yup, the peep broke her little saw. Came right apart, right in her paws. Right in the midst of her taking out one of those baby trees. That'll teach her. MOUSES!
You're probably thinking that having pieces of saw flying all over the place would create a bit of a mess but actually, not as much as you might think. Thing is, no one really knows where all those little pieces flew. They appear to have gone into hiding. Gone into hiding from the peep, I would guess. MOUSES!
Originally, the saw blade was attached to a curved piece of plastic with a handle. Not attached by a handle. The plastic piece had a handle. Anyway, it was attached at both ends. But after the peep's little fiasco out in the garden, only one end of the blade remained attached to the plastic. The other end was just hanging there, doing nothing.
Needless to say, a saw like that is pretty much useless. MOUSES!
Upon examination, the peep concluded there were some missing parts to her little saw. How many missing parts is anyone's guess. Let me explain.
No Tess, Peep #1 isn't missing parts although truth be told, had she been using a chain saw instead of a little hand saw, I could be telling a totally different story. MOUSES!
As I was saying, the peep examined what was left of her saw. The end of the blade that was still clinging to the curved plastic piece for dear life, was attached by a nut and bolt or whatever they're called. Winged nut? Nutty wing? Nutty bolt? Don't know but...
NO TESS, the peep is not nutty. Well on the other paw... Never mind.
Anyway, the one end had nuts and bolts and possibly wings holding things in place but at the other end of the blade, there was nothing. It was just flapping around like those arms that go up and down when you're leaving a parking lot after you've paid for the privilege of parking. Not that I ever do that because you know, I'm a cat and all and as a cat, I would simply walk under the wooden arm thingy and what's more, I don't drive but you know the things I mean, do you not? You know those arms? Those wooden arm parking lot thingies? Well those arms are not saws, my friends and quite frankly, what's left of the peep's saw isn't either.
On the other paw, I might be able to loan it out as mouse-sized parking lot payment arm thing. Hmmm...
But back to the topic at paw. The peep went looking for the missing wingy nuts and bolts but there was not a nut nor a bolt to be found. A couple of acorns, maybe, but those are the wrong kind of nuts. MOUSES!
You see, the tree the peep was sawing down was in a kind of wooded area where there were all sorts of things growing up around it so when the nuts and bolts went into hiding, they were hiding really well. What's more, the peep had no idea how far the things had flown.
What Tess? No, I don't think so. I don't think they're called winged nuts because they can fly. In fact, I don't even know if they're actually called winged nuts but now that I think about it, an ability to fly would be a good reason to call them that. Yeah, when it comes right down to it...
MOUSES! My sister Tess has gone and drawn me into her crazy craziness and got me all confused. Now where was I? Oh yeah, flying things.
So the nuts and bolts that had originally held the loose end of the saw blade to the plastic handle had flown the coop and no one really knew how far away their new coop was so the peep kind of gave up on finding them. She figured she'd have to go to the hardware store to get some new ones but then she made a startling realisation. Just wait 'til you hear this.
The blade of the saw no longer reached all the way over to the other end of the handle. Try as she might, there was no way, no how, she was ever going to be able to reattach the blade to the handle no matter how many nuts and bolts and wingy things she used because it just wouldn't reach. MOUSES!
That's when the peep started to think she might be missing more than just a couple pieces of her little saw. When she realised there must be at least one more piece to the puzzle or the saw or whatever it now was. A bridge of some kind or something like that.
Now the peep says to never burn all your bridges unless you have an alternative route home but...
Or was that saying about britches?
What's that Tess? Screws? Screws that were loose? No I don't think there were any loose screws. Peep never said a word about screws. Only nuts and bolts and bridges or britches or...
OHHH.... You think the peep has a screw loose. Well that could very well be true but you won't hear me say it because I'm not burning all my bridges or britches or any other kind of underwear for that matter. After all, I'm a cat. We cats don't wear undies and that, my friends, is a fact. MOUSES!