Wednesday, 21 January 2015
slip slidin' away
But the peep did catch a bug. At first, I thought she had caught one of those flu bugs on account of her feverish and delusional behaviour but it turned out to be somethin' else. It turned out to be a hybrid spring-cabin fever bug. No known cure. We have to let it run its course. MOUSES!
So early Monday mornin', the peep was still in her delusional state brought on by this spring-cabin fever thingy, behaving like a maniac, when everythin' hit the fan. Well... to tell you the truth, there were no actual fans involved. There were things hittin' things, however. Let me explain...
Even though the garden was covered in snow, the peep was still feverishly plantin' seeds and whatnot, behavin' like it was spring. Due to the spring component of her illness, she was completely oblivious to the fact that it was still winter. Due to the cabin component of this fever, she decided to head outside.
Now over the weekend, the low temperatures - did I mention it was still winter? - had frozen everythin' solid. Our driveway was a sheet of ice. I was searchin' for those cat-sized ice skates I ordered last year when I heard the peep headin' out the door. I called out to her to be careful of the ice but apparently, this spring-cabin fever thingy had affected her hearin'. She didn't listen to me at all.
I took a break from searchin' for my skates to hop up onto the window ledge and watch the show. It promised to be a good one.... Peep TV.
Peep #1 was out the door and headin' toward the garage in search of more plant pots. She was off like a bolt of lightening 'cause the temperatures were climbin' and it had started to rain. She didn't want to get wet or anythin'. One never knows when rain might cause the unexpected meltin' of peeps. Meltin' peeps is a messy business and should be avoided at all cost.
And I just want to clarify that the peep was like lightenin'. Even though it had started to rain, there was no actual lightenin' in the sky. Just clouds, rain and some wind. Hmm... clouds rain and lots and lots of wind, to be exact.
So the peep headed across the ice-covered driveway that was gettin' slicker and slicker by the minute due to the fallin' - and quite possibly, peep meltin' - rain when all of a sudden, Peep TV started to get really interesting. Even though the peep's legs had stopped walkin', they were still movin'. They were slippin'. They were slidin'. They were slip, slip, slidin' away. Pickin' up speed, Peep #1 was movin' faster and faster and then, before my very eyes, the peep took flight! SHE WAS AIRBORNE. She soared through the air, right across the icy driveway and landed with a thump.
You know, Peep TV never disappoints. It's right up there with Bird TV and the Squirrel Channel.
Anywho... Remember how I said stuff hit stuff? Well the stuff doin' the hittin' was the peep and what was bein' hit was the ground. Peep #1 did an Olympic-worthy, four-point landin' right there in front of the garage. Two knees, left-front paw and her chin. All four points smacked the ice, simultaneously. The excitement was almost unbearable. MOUSES!
Strugglin' to her paws... feet... whatever, Peep #1 stumbled into the garage to dig out the flower pots. Never let it be said that my peep is easily distracted.
Returning inside, flower pots in paw, the peep looked at me and mentioned something 'bout it bein' icy outdoors. Somethin' about her flyin' across the driveway. I told her I hadn't noticed so that she wouldn't feel too embarrassed 'bout the dirt on her chin.
But speakin' of flyin' stuff, did you hear 'bout those marmie brothers of mine?
The other day, Seville, Rushton and Anderson were hangin' out together, on the little landin' outside the kitchen window. Now I should explain that my marmie brothers never hang out together for the sake of camaraderie. Nope, nothin' comaraderous 'bout them hangin' out at all. One moment they were all sittin' there, starin' at each other and then the next moment, fur started to fly. There was marmie fur everywhere. Then came the yowlin' and the howlin'. Once Peep #1 shut up, my brothers started to growl.
Let me tell you, those marmie brothers of mine have tude.
But marmies aren't the only ones with tude. Squirrels have tude, too. You should see 'em, struttin' about, dancin' and prancin' around on my driveway. They're actin' like they own the joint or somethin'.
And did you hear 'bout today bein' Squirrel Appreciation Day? That's right, they have their own day. MOUSES! Hmm... I wonder if mice have one too?
Anywho... Accordin' to a reliable source, today is the day for appreciating squirrels. The same source has revealed that it's also a day to celebrate hugs and granola bars. I guess it's a day to hug the neighbourhood squirrels and share a granola bar with 'em.
Nah... doin' somethin' like that would be crazy, for sure. Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies kind of crazy, if you know what I mean. Granola bars? I don't eat granola bars. I, Nerissa the Cat, have never eaten a granola bar in my life because I am a cat and we cats don't like things like that.
And I never did find those ice skates of mine. Where-oh-where did I put 'em? Gotta find 'em before winter is over and there isn't any ice left for skatin'. I wonder if the peep hid 'em somewhere. I wonder... Oh Peepers... OH PEEPERS... Have you seen those ice skates of mine? Did you hide 'em somewhere? You're not answerin' me? Awww... MOUSES!