My favourite spot of all is on the chesterfield. That's where the peeps sit while watchin' television and if you can get in there while one is present, tummy rubs and chin scritches are bound to follow.
So there I was the other day, curled up next to Peep #1 and driftin' off to sleep with a Canadian news channel dronin' on in the background. Some politician was bein' interviewed and the interview was lullin' me to sleep. The peep was tickling me behind the ears. All was well in my little part of the world.
But I awoke with a start when I heard noises comin' from the front door. There was a crash and a boom and, I think, if I'm not mistaken, the splinterin' of wood. I sat there, paralysed with fear. Someone was breakin' into my house!
I glanced over at the television thinkin' that maybe, just maybe, the noises were emanatin' from there but the television was off. It was dark. The peeps were gone. It appeared to be the middle of the night.
Lookin' around the family room, I saw my brother Anderson on the coffee table, Auntie Primrose in the cat bed and my sister Mason on the back of a chair. They had all been awakened by the noises, too, eyes wide and ears alert. Even Rushton was lookin' out from his spot on the shelf under the television.
Primrose was up in a flash. Bein' a bit of an enforcer, she was prepared to go meet the intruders head on and... well... enforce. That's kind of what she does.
Anderson cried aloud, "No Auntie Prim! Don't go out there! It could be dangerous. You're small and old. Uh... elderly. It's too much of a risk."
Little does my new brother Andy know that Auntie Primrose has been known - more than once - to put the fear of God into a doctor and room full of nurses and vet techs but whatever.
There were still noises comin' from the front of the house. Whatever was goin' on could not be good. And we cats were sittin' ducks in the family room. Short one or two quacks but still, sittin' ducks, nonetheless. There was only one way out and that way led in the direction of the noises.
Rushton emerged from his shelf under the television, floofin' his tail like only a long-haired cat weighin' in at over seventeen pounds can do. "Protect the women and kittens first!" he cried.
Anderson was lookin' around the room, tryin' to find somethin' - anythin' - that could be fashioned into a weapon. His gaze drifted over to the fireplace poker. Now there was a weapon. Unfortunately it proved far too heavy for a cat to manoeuvre.
Mason grabbed a wand toy and started issuing orders. "Nissy, untie that mouse and string from this stick," she demanded. She, herself, began to whittle away at the stick with her claws. She was makin' a spear."
Watching my sister with her whittling and two of my marmalade brothers staggering under the weight of the fireplace poker, I saw the futility at paw. I said it once before and I'll say it again, we were sittin' in ducks in that room. Somethin' had to be done.
I immediately dove under the chesterfield and hid.
I would have hidden in a closet or somethin' but the family room has no closets. Under the couch seemed like the next best thing. No one would ever find me there.
Primrose lifted the skirt of the couch. "Get out from under there right now," she spat.
"No can do," I replied. "If anythin' were to happen to me, what would happen to my blog? Who would take over? Who would write Nerissa's Life? I must save myself at all costs."
From the other side of the room I heard Mason muttering. "Any one of us could write that blog if we were ever allowed in your office."
"Not so, my fur-fam, I whispered back. "I'm the only cat in the house who knows how to turn on the computer. One must master that before one blogs."
Next thing I knew, my brother Seville was pokin' his face under the chesterfield. I squinted from the light streaming in. Clearly the intruders had entered the family room and turned on the overhead lights. I buried my head in my paws."
"Whatcha doing under there, Niss? You hiding from someone?" Seville asked.
Then the rest of my fur-fam appeared. They begged and pleaded for me to come out of hiding, claiming everything was now safe. I let out a loud cry for the peep. "Peepers!" I howled.
I awoke with a start. I opened one eye. Then opened the other. I was no longer under the chesterfield but rather, curled up on top of it. It was late afternoon and not the middle of the night.
Seville's nose was mere inches away from mine. "Peep #1 has set up the Christmas tree in the living room. I think they're going to start decorating it. Come on Niss, there are boxes of rollable breakables all over the place!"
My ears perked up at the thought of rollable breakables, I must admit.
Stretchin' out a paw, I let out a big yawn. I looked around. Anderson was snoozing on the coffee table, Primrose was curled up in the cat bed and Rushy was on the shelf under the television. Mason was lying rather precariously on the back of a chair, snoring. At any moment, she would most likely fall off it... again.
Clearly, everythin' was okay. Everything was as it should be. No one had been breakin' into my house. It had all been a big ol' nasty dream. A dream likely triggered by fallin' asleep while listening to the news. And the noises I heard had likely been made by the peep bringin' the Christmas tree downstairs and settin' it up. It all seemed perfectly reasonable.
And of course it had been a dream. I, Nerissa the Cat, would never behave in such a manner. Hidin' under the chesterfield when others' lives were at stake... NEVER. I couldn't even fathom myself behavin' like that.
When it comes to my fur-fam, I'm a leader. A true leader. And true leaders think of others before thinkin' of themselves. And they never ask of others what they, themselves, would not be willin' to do. That's how leaders behave. I should know 'cause you know... I'm a cat and cats are smart. We cats know 'bout stuff like that. MOUSES!
What a nightmare. You ought to have a little treat from your peeps lol.
ReplyDeleteYou know somethin'? I think I should. I think I really, really should! purrs
DeleteNissy, I think the moral of the story is that Canadian politics may cause nightmares...so does our postal system, thank Cod the you-know-what arrived safe and sound! (BTW, we wouldn't want to mess with Auntie Prim!)
ReplyDeleteNot many do. You should hear some of the stuff I've heard when she returns from her check-ups with the doctor. MOUSES! purrs
DeleteSure glad it was just a dream !!
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Me too! I'd hate to think that in reality, I would behave so badly. You know? purrs
DeleteWe are sorry you had such a bad nightmare:)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've GOTTA stop listenin' to the news. MOUSES! purrs
DeleteOh, we are glad to hear it was just a bad dream. We know you'd never do such a thing when you're awake. Nissy the Brave!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I would NEVER behave like THAT. purrs
DeleteWe you had me spooked pal. I even went under the bed in a show of support. I did finally make it back to finish the story!
ReplyDeleteA show of support for little ol' me? Awww... THANKS. purrs
DeleteAaaaaaaaw Nissy of course yous wul purrtect yous furmily. Dat there be a pawsum twee, just bootyful me must say. Y'all awe in fur a wunnewful Christmas.
ReplyDeleteLuv ya
Dezi n Lexi
Merry Christmas my friends! Just a few more days 'til the big day. Getttin' pretty excited, myself. purrs
DeleteI am glad that no one was breaking in because if they were, it would be to steal you being that you are famous and all.
ReplyDeleteI know! I mean... who else would they be after? purrs
DeleteSure you would be at the ready to help indeed. But that dream may send us under the bed. Human drs are very annoying, we'd like to stab them with their stupid needles some days.
ReplyDeleteYou come out from under the bed, yet? purrs
DeleteSounds as if you might need a good book about dream interpretation. Super happy no one was hurt and that the intruders were only in your dream. Stay safe. Ho, ho, ho, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo
ReplyDeleteEither that or I need to start nappin' while listenin' to the news. purrs
DeleteHave you been at the rum egg nog?
ReplyDeleteThe REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxxx
Nah, I don't drink rum. Now nip, on the other paw... purrs
DeletePhew, that was quite the nightmare Nerissa! We knows you wouldn't do that fur sure, 'cuz you is a brave kitty.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week and have a furry merry Christymouse!
Sasha. Sami, & Saku
And a very Merry Christymouse to you, too! purrs
DeleteThat wasn't a dream...it was a nightmare. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou've got that right, for sure! purrs
DeleteLesson: don't fall asleep during political talk!
ReplyDeleteVery wise advice, Summer. VERY wise, indeed. purrs
DeleteOf course for a cat like you it must be the best room in the house !
ReplyDeleteOf course. I mean... I am Nerissa the Cat. purrs
DeleteOh My Cats!! What a nightmare!! ;) Happy Holidays to you! :D xx Roxy & Tigerlino <3
ReplyDeleteIt really was. I have just GOTTA stop listenin' to the news! purrs
DeleteGlad it was just a dream!
ReplyDeleteHave a great Christmas!
Purrs xx
Athena and Marie
Me too. I mean... Can you imagine if it were real? MOUSES! purrs
DeleteWOW......you went from DREAM to dream come true when the Christmas tree suddenly appeared and got decorated! Now Santa will have somewhere to put your goodies on Christmas morning - see? It's a WIN/WIN........
ReplyDeleteHugs, Sammy
And thank goodness for that. With the peeps' slacker qualities and all, I was beginnin' to get worried. purrs
DeleteGosh - at least you got a Christmas tree out of that dream and it's FOR REAL! Santa will have somewhere to put all your presents on Christmas morning now!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Sammy
What a relief it is. Without a tree, what ever would Santa do? purrs
DeleteThat story is hysterical. Nissy, you do such a good job of writing. Sure did make us smile this morning. Have a great day and a very Merry Christmas to you.
ReplyDeleteAwww... thanks. *blushes* I do my best when writin' my blog 'cause that's what a writer kitty should do. purrs
DeleteWhew thank heavens it was only a dream!
ReplyDeleteSERIOUSLY. Wakin' up from it was like an early Christmas prezzie, for sure. purrs
DeletePeople think it's SO easy to write a blog. Sheesh. Glad you told your visitors what's what! - Crepes.
ReplyDeleteYup, told my fur-fam that, too! purrs
DeleteWishing you much sweeter dreams, Nissy! Sugar plums and all that stuff. or nip balls?
ReplyDeleteNip balls! Most definitely nip balls, for sure. purrs
DeleteLuckily it was all a (bad) dream Nissy! Maybe your slacker humans can get the tree up earlier next year. Sheesh! :)
ReplyDeletethe critters in the cottage xo
They used to be so much better at that. Don't know what happened to 'em to allow the slacker genes to emerge. purrs
DeleteBwa! Haa!! Haaa!!!!
ReplyDeleteNerissa, yous the bestest!
Kisses
Nellie
Awww... YOU'RE the bestest, too. Love ya! purrs
DeleteGlad to hear it is all a bad dream!!
ReplyDeleteMe too. Wouldn't want to be a real coward or anythin' like that. purrs
DeleteYes it had to be a dream as you would lead the charge to, um, like that cat on YouTube that protected his kid against that dog! Yes you would have lead the charge
ReplyDeleteWouldnt you Nissy
Timmy
I sure would! I would be a REAL leader, for sure. Like Henry V or somethin'! purrs
DeleteI must say, you had Mommy on the edge of her chair, and thank goodness I wasn't on her lap but safe beside her on MY chair!
ReplyDeleteWhat a nightmare! You would never run and hide in real life cause...cause... why, you're Nerissa The Cat! Protector of All! Canada's (and America's) best blog author!
Except Auntie Primrose. I don't think she needs protecting! You go, girl!
Yeah, that Auntie Primrose.... Let's just say, there's a REASON we call her 'The Enforcer.' MOUSES! purrs
DeleteOh mine goodness - me and da beans were sittin' on da edge of owr seats readin' your story! Oh that so many things were a dream only. And then not... Such a good story to get a glimpse of knowing all of you in one blog post! Yoo are all pawsome!
ReplyDeleteAwww.. What lovely things to write. Thank you, my friends. THANK YOU. purrs
DeleteOMC! I have night,ares too Nissy. I wish I could be brave and not hide, but it always seems the wiser course of action...duck for cover!
ReplyDeleteAt the time, it seemed like the best thing to do! purrs
DeleteWell thank goodness it was only a dream Nissy! We were all worried that it was a nasty introoder that was going to hurt you all! Whew!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it was just a dream, too. Thank goodness for that! purrs
Delete