My neighbourhood has gone to the dogs. Yes, you heard that, correctly. It has gone to the dogs. MOUSES!
You know, there are an awful lot of doggies livin' in my neighbourhood. They appear to be everywhere. To the north, to the south, to the east and the west. Like I said, they're EVERYWHERE.
And not only are they livin' everywhere, but they're walkin' everywhere, too. Every single day, I see doggies bein' walked past my house. Big ones, little ones, in-between sized ones and even teeny-tiny almost minuscule ones that would seriously fit inside a teacup although, perhaps not so small that they could fit into one of those demitasse cups the peep has but never uses. Those aren't even big enough to hold a cup of coffee. MOUSES!
And where did they all come from? And who let them out? Yeah, who did let all those doggies out? Anyone ever figure that out?
Who let the dogs out? One of life's greatest mysteries. Still unsolved, to this day. MOUSES!
I'm tellin' you, havin' all those dogs livin' in and wanderin' around my neighbourhood is crazy. CRAZY, I tell you. Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies and believe-you-me, that's some serious kind of crazy.
And speakin' of squirrels. They're everywhere, too. Those grey squirrels are drivin' me crazy. Not as crazy as them but crazy, nonetheless.
We have that big 'ol oak tree at the end of the driveway. That big ol' oak tree that has been leadin' a double life. By day, an oak tree. By night, a squirrel magnet. Or maybe it's the other way round. Hmmm...
Yeah, it is the other way round 'cause I only ever see the squirrels in the daytime but see them, I do. That ol' oak tree must be usin' its magnetic powers of persuasion to attract those squirrels durin' the daylight hours. At night, it's just a tree.
The squirrels are after the acorns, I do believe. They collect 'em to make pies. Nut pies, of course. Don't know what other ingredients are required but they sure do need a lot of acorns. They've been collecting 'em for ages.
You ever seen a squirrel makin' nut pies? To tell you the truth, I haven't, either. But if I ever did get to witness the squirrels bakin' their pies, I can assure you that the sight would be pretty crazy. That's right... CRAZY. Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies kind of crazy. After all, that's where the sayin' comes from.
Funny how we know that squirrels makin' nut pies is crazy and yet, so far, no one has discovered who let all those dogs out. MOUSES!
Do you know somethin' else that's crazy? Red scarves. Yup, it's true.
A few weeks ago, the peeps were goin' shoppin' or somethin' when they noticed that hanging on one of the trees in my garden was a scarf. Yup, there was a red scarf hangin' there, makin' itself right at home. MOUSES!
Now the tree in question stands right at the edge of my garden and the scarf was hangin' on a branch reachin' over the ditch between my garden and the road. I'm not allowed on the road and that's why I didn't discover the scarf, myself. If it had been hangin' on a branch on the other side of the tree, I would have spotted it in a flash.
Anywho... Peep #1 was drivin' and she stopped the car and stared at the scarf. At least, that's what I was told, after the fact. I wasn't actually in the car to witness the event, myself.
I do believe it was one of those "Wha???" moments that we all experience from time to time. I mean, who the mouses goes around hangin' scarves on trees? Discoverin' one hangin' there has got to lead the discoverer to cry, "Wha?" in dismay. Seriously.
Well the scarf didn't belong to anyone livin' at my house. Not to the peeps and not to any of us cats. We cats don't wear scarves, you see.
So another mystery had presented itself. Who hung the scarf on the tree? To whom did the scarf belong? And what were the peeps gonna do about it?
Turns out, they chose to ignore it.
Well that ol' scarf hung there on that tree for a couple of days until finally, Peep #1 declared, "If it's still there on garbage day, it's going out."
I immediately called up the squirrels and said, "Sorry for interruptin' your baking but if you wanna keep your scarf, you had better go collect it, immediately. Peep #1 is seein' red."
The squirrels denied any knowledge of the scarf hangin' in the tree and went back to bakin' their pies. MOUSES!
But before the scarf could be chucked in the garbage, it disappeared. Or did it....
The scarf was no longer hangin' in the tree and Peep #1 forgot all about it. Out of sight, out of mind, I suppose. Garbage day came and garbage day went and the scarf was never thought of, again.
Then just the other day, while my claws were clickin' away at the ol' computer 'cause I was workin' on my blog, I happened to glance up and look out my office window. There was some movement on the road, just beyond the trees. Hmmm...
I could see a dog out there on that road. He was movin' about a little but not really walkin'. I said to myself, "I bet he's poopin'. There had better be a peep with him to do some scoopin'!"
Eventually, the dog started walkin' again and I saw, that followin' a few feet behind him was his peep. His peep was walkin' rather slowly. She was walkin' slowly, holdin' a piece of fabric out in front of her. Yup, his peep was admirin' her new red scarf. MOUSES!
I have given a lot of thought to this latest mystery. I do believe that the scarf must have fallen to the ground, unnoticed by my peeps. Being peeps, they immediately forgot about it. The woman walkin' the dog must have spotted the scarf and climbed down into the ditch to retrieve it. Finders keepers, as they say. At least the scarf has a home now. Better with her than in the garbage like my peep was gonna do.
From where the scarf originally came, we will never know. That mystery shall remain unsolved like all the other great unsolved mysteries of our time. Mysteries like, exactly who built Stonehenge and why? How did the Egyptians build the Great Pyramid and could aliens actually have been involved? And yes, my friends, who did let all those doggies out? And were those doggies in question ever sittin' in a window and if so, how much were they?
So many unanswered questions. So many mysteries. It's enough to drive a kitty a little squirrelly, if you know what I mean.
Hmmm... I wonder if those squirrels top their nut pies with whipped cream. Bet they do. Yup, I'm almost certain of it. Anythin' else would be... CRAZY.