Sunday 14 September 2014

the flyin' monster

Durin' the last couple weeks, the peeps have been havin' some stuff done in the yard and whatnot.  Stuff that either they couldn't manage themselves or just never got around to doin'.  That sort of thing.

I'm of mixed feelings 'bout this whole business.  On the one paw, it's nice to see things finally gettin' done.  On the other paw, it means there are peeps on my property who are not my own personal peeps.  Peeps who I can't always control.  Peeps who are not necessarily charmed by my charmin' personality and willin' to wait upon me, hand and paw.  MOUSES!

What's more, havin' been born feral, I'm not big on stranger peeps.  Not that they're strange or anythin'.  I'm assumin' they're perfectly normal.  I just don't know 'em.  That's makes 'em strangers, to me.

And when you're tryin' to avoid havin' the stranger peeps see you, supervising 'em can be very difficult.  In fact, it's almost impossible.  It's hard to tell 'em what to do when you're too scared to talk to 'em.  MOUSES!

Perhaps had I been a bit braver 'bout bein' seen and heard, our new loo would, in fact, be a loo.  Or at least a nip bed.  Instead, it's just gonna be a plain ol' flower bed filled with inedible flowers, without a nip plant in sight.

Of course, I can't really blame stranger peeps for the lack of nip and loos.  I'm pretty sure Peep #1 had somethin' to do with that.  Again I say, MOUSES!

So I thought long and hard about the catastrophe that is the looless loo and realised, I was gonna have to make my presence known.  Stranger peeps or not, I was gonna have to make an appearance.

I waited until my peeps and the stranger peep of the day were sittin' on the veranda, havin' coffee.  I figured I'd be safe.  It was familiar territory and I could count on my own personal peeps bein' under my control.  I mean, surely they wouldn't show me up in front of company, right?


Well actually, it was right.  The nightmare I encountered had nothin' to do with my peeps.  It was a bird.

Anywho...  Late Thursday mornin', I walked onto the veranda, eyeing the three peeps sittin' there, all in a row.  Peep #1 immediately said my name and encouraged me to come in a little further.  I knew this was a good sign 'cause she would never in a million - or even a billion and yes, she is old enough for me to say that - years encourage me to come closer to someone who would hurt me.  I knew right away that the stranger peep must be a good stranger peep and someone who liked and appreciated cats.  I figured I was safe.

Seville, not one to want to miss out on anythin', followed behind me.

And then it happened.  Out of nowhere came the roar of a somethin' so loud and obnoxious it was deafening beyond belief.  The noise was everywhere.  Above me, to my right, to my left...  It sounded like it was even under my paws.  My eyes grew wide with fear and I started to panic.  I wanted to run but didn't know where.  The sound was everywhere.  To where could I escape?

I noticed that Seville was scared, too, although not nearly as panicked as I. I'm gonna have to have the peep check him for ear mites.  I think he must be hard of hearin' or somethin'.

The cries of the flyin' beast were bouncin' off the walls, floor and ceilin' of the veranda.  They were reverberating everywhere.  There was nowhere safe to hide.

I looked over at my fist peep thinkin' that maybe she was caterwaulin'.  She had gone to caterwaulin' practise the previous night and although her practicin' had never before been quite that horrible, there's always a first for everything.

Peep #1's mouth was closed.  She wasn't caterwaulin'.  The noise was not coming from her.  She looked concerned for me but not scared for herself or anythin'.  Clearly the peep was insane.

I realised that the only thing to do was to make a run for it.  On the veranda was my marmie brother who had apparently become hard of hearin', a stranger peep and my personal peeps with at least one of 'em havin' gone crazy.  The veranda was no place for me.

I tossed aside any thoughts of supervisin' the peeps that day and ran.  I ran as fast as my little paws would carry me.  I ran and I ran and I ran until I was safe and sound in the backyard, hidin' under the deck.  The noisy and terrifyin' beast wasn't gonna get me.

As for the peeps, they were welcome to join me under the deck but as they showed no inclination to follow, I figured they'd be consumed by the beast.  I crossed my claws that they had had the foresight to have a good supply of food in the house and wondered if I'd be able to figure out how to open the tins.  How hard could it be?

Eventually, the angry cries of the beast faded off into the distance and an hour or so later, I ventured out from under the deck.  I discovered that my peeps and the stranger peep had all survived the attack.  Seville was safe, too, as was the rest of my fur family.

It turned out that the terrifyingly noisy beast of my nightmare of all nightmares was, in fact, a bird.  A big ol' metal bird from the nearby air force base.  It was flyin' a little lower than normal, I guess, and that's why it had been so loud.  Peep #1 explained all this to me.

Just how low do they have to fly?  MOUSES!  Had I known it was a plane and not the monster of all monsters, I would have thought the thing was gonna land.  Land right there on my lawn or somethin'. Or maybe even on the street.  

Peep #1 suggested that perhaps the pilot was tryin' to get a glimpse of me, the world-famous bloggin' cat.  I suggested to the peep that if they wanted to see me that badly, she could take a picture and show it to 'em.  A nice quiet, noiseless picture that wasn't so scary.

I'm thinkin' that this week, I'll get the stranger peep to head up onto the roof of house and paint the words, "If you can read this, you're flyin' too low."  That should do the trick, I think.  Yup, that should do the trick, for sure.

On second thought, I can do that myself.  I'm sure there's some paint in the garage.  I'll just grab a can and a brush and head on up.  I've been up there before.  Actually, I've been up there quite often.

Best thing about my paintin' the message myself is that the peeps will never know.  They never jump up there themselves, you see.  Just hope no one flyin' a plane mentions to my peeps that there's a newly painted message on said roof.  I can just imagine the noises Peep #1 would make upon hearin' that news.  Yeah, I can just imagine.  MOUSES!


  1. Sometimes planes fly too low here, never thought about leaving them a message like that.

  2. I do believe you are very brave, Nerissa. Have a lovely Sunday.

  3. Hey, when it comes to real work I do think running and hiding is a good option Nerissa!

  4. "If you can read this, you're flyin' too low!!" LOVE that! You have one brilliant cat! If the little rascal does go up on the roof & paint the sign, don't call her out on it! It is imperative for her wee ears! They were ringing like crazy from the Big Metal Flyin Bird!

  5. We think you absolutely made the right choice about running. And what a great idea to write that message on the roof. That should work. You all have a great week.

  6. We would have been scared, too. Those planes can be very loud. You did the right thing by hiding out til it was over. A kitteh can never be too careful!

    Hope the rest of your weekend was an easy one.

  7. Good thinking. We live 20 minutes from HPN where lots of private jets land and sometimes they get way too close to us.

  8. That sounds very scary Nissy.
    Once many years ago when we were walking in the fields with mum, a helicopter flew very low. He was checking the overhead mainline power cables and Eric thought it was chasing him. He ran and found a hollow part of a tree trunk in a hedge and hid himself in there and wouldn't come back out. Mum thought he had got himself jammed in there, but after a while he reversed out.

  9. Those are some super cool sun shades you are sporting!

    Noodle and crew

  10. Run and hide, best advice ever. We agree with that. Maybe give a little hiss too if you have time.

  11. That painting requires thumbs. Best come up with another idea, or save your allowance to hire one of those strangers, preferably for when the peeps aren't home. XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  12. How scary was that! We wouldn't have liked that at all, either.

  13. This reminds Mommy of the time a helicopter flew low (REALLY low) when she was at work. Her work place is a "no-fly zone" on accounta terrorism--so Mommy was pretty hissed off and shot 'em DA BIRD! Boy were they surprised. Anyhoo, we think a message will work just did for Mommy!

  14. leave it to you buddy to be THE ONE who knew what and how to communicate

  15. First off, your peeps should make sure anyone they hire to work has to sign a paper agreeing to do anything you want them to do. Secondly, have them paint the sign, you shouldn't have to work so hard. Now go get some rest after that ordeal, but first come visit us at 15andmeowing for a contest.

  16. YOW Nerissa a low flyin plane iz NOT kewl whatso eber!!! We had one do dat here n me allmost jumped outta me fur...Mum too n she not have fur (dat wuud NOT have bin purrty me can tell ya...)
    We iz sowwy ya got so scared; iz so unfair n me agreez dey shuud just ask fer a photo....
    Me n Mum lub yer idea of paintin dat on da roof; PURRFECT!!! Yer such a clever kittehboy! ;)
    Me iz so glad me cuud come by n hang out wif ya....
    Lub Nylablue n Mum too x0x0x0

  17. That is way to scary Nissy! We have them fly over here sometimes and they are really loud and scary! Hope you get that paint can up on the roof soon!

  18. Me, I run & hide first !
    No second thought !!!

  19. Aaaaaaw Nissy so sowwy yous got scawed and da plane had to fly dat low. But meez suwe glad yous all safe. :) Hv a pawsum week.

    Luv ya'


  20. That sounds very scary ! Writing a message on your roof looks like a good idea ! Purrs

  21. Heck yea! RUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

  22. Whoa, Nissy! That metal bird has no business flying that low to wonder you high-tailed it under the deck!

  23. Well, that was kind of rude of the plane flying humans, I think!

  24. But if your panting a message why not something like 'drop nip'?!

  25. Hey its no biggy I'm not keen on plans Flying too low either and you know me I'm not afraid of anything,xx Speedy
    Hope you're coming to my Pirate party on Friday Nissy,it going to be fun,xx

  26. Awww, sweetie we are so sorry you had to run as fast as your little paws would carry you to get away from the loud metal bird. We are happy all of you are safe though and that no harm was done. The deck sounded like a nice safe place to be. Thank you all so much for your sweet comment on Patches' post. We still miss her very much, but like you said we are enjoying talking about some of those precious memories we have. Hugs and nose kisses

  27. You have tomwatch thkse mechanical birds!

  28. Those metal birds sure are scary. We don't blame you for hiding under the deck. We would have done the same.

  29. not charmed by you? surely such a travesty can only be a mistake...

  30. oh, great bast! we feels fur you!! we useta liff inna "flight path" (whatefur that is, it just looks like trees an' houses to us) fur the local air port, so we was under constant attack by those giant metal birds! sounds like you haff a great plan to convince them to get back up where they belong. please let us know how it werks out, an' what peep #1 sez when they finds white paint catfootprints ... be careful onnat roof!


I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.