Sunday 8 June 2014

I'm free!


Yes, that is just what I was yellin' at the top of my lungs on Friday night. Finally, I was free.

For three whole days I had been unfairly and unjustly incarcerated.  THREE WHOLE DAYS.  Seventy-two hours. Do you have any idea how long seventy-two hours is in cat time?  Why, it's...  uh... seventy-two times...  carry the four... plus...  divided by one...  carry the two...  carry the nine...  MOUSES! Seventy-two hours is equal to one million, eight hundred and fourteen thousand, four hundred seconds in cat time.  That's a whole lot of seconds.  No wonder it seemed like an eternity.

Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.

So exactly what happened?  Funny you should ask that.  I can't give you the full answer on account of my not knowin' exactly what happened but I will tell you what I do know and exactly what I think about the situation.

There I was on Tuesday night, happily postin' away on my fan page, Nerissa's Life over on Facebook, when all of a sudden...  MOUSES!  I wasn't bein' allowed to post a thing.  I couldn't post anything new and all of the posts I had ever posted over the past two years or so, disappeared like magic.  Facebook kept tellin' me I had a tonne of notifications but when I clicked on any of 'em to see what my pals were sayin'...  NOTHIN'.  Nothin' but a blank page.  Again I say...  MOUSES!

To anyone else who looked at my page, everything appeared to be normal.  They could see no indication that somethin' was wrong but I knew somethin' was wrong.  Somethin' was terribly, TERRIBLY wrong.

Of course, I immediately thought it was some sort of glitch.  I mean, it's not like Facebook is known to be glitch-free, you know?  I reported what I thought to be a glitch through my page and the peep reported it through her timeline.  I, at nerissathecat, also left a slew of tweets for Facebook over on twitter.  I was gettin' desperate and we all know what desperation can do.  But still, I received no response.  MOUSES!

Then I started thinkin' about it and realised that it might not be a glitch at all.  No, what made much more sense was that I had been tossed into Facebook Jail and the peeps at Facebook had gone and thrown away the key.  I was devastated.

What had I done?  WHAT HAD I DONE?  I was stompin' my paws and throwin' a right ol' hissy fit which only a cat can do really, really well on account of our ability to hiss.  I was mad as all get out. I was yellin' MOUSES! here and MOUSES! there.  I was yellin' MOUSES! all over the place, just about everywhere.  WHAT HAD I DONE?

Now here's the thing.  I am not against rules.  In order for us all to live in an orderly and civilised society, there must be rules and yes, those rules must be enforced.  No point in havin' rules if you're not gonna enforce 'em.  I do admit that I would much prefer that said rules be written by cats but until we cats fully take over the world, I suppose I'll have to suffer through the peep-made ones.  But whether made by cats or peeps, WE CATS HAVE TO BE INFORMED OF THOSE RULES!

I received no warning of any kind from the peeps at Facebook.  Nothin'.  One moment everything was fine, A-okay, hunky-dory and the next...  MOUSES!

I would like to submit to the Court of Public Opinion that throwin' a cat into Facebook Jail without ever informin' said cat of the charges against him or her is unfair and unjust and definitely, above all else, rude.  I would also like to submit to the Court of Public Opinion that cats and peeps alike deserve to be told why they're bein' tossed into jail before bein' jailed.

I went lookin' for information regarding my rights and found that the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms clearly states that we have the right to be informed promptly when arrested or detained. Promptly.  PROMPTLY!  It also says that if a cat is charged with an offence, said cat has the right to be told exactly what that specific offence is and to be told without unreasonable delay.  Okay, the Charter doesn't specifically mention cats but I think it really should so I added that part, myself.

Anywho...   my point is that I was tossed into Facebook Jail and imprisoned like a common criminal, never bein' told what offence I had committed.  In fact, I have yet to receive any sort of explanation from the peeps at Facebook and I'm not holdin' my breath on ever gettin' one as, I suspect, doin' so could very well kill me.

Not respondin' to my enquiries is really rather rude.  Anyone with an ounce of courtesy in their bodies should know that.  They really should.

But not tellin' me what offence I committed was more than just rude.  It was also stupid.  Yes, stupid.  For peeps who are so incredibly smart to have created the whole Facebook thingy, it's hard to believe they could behave so stupidly.

By not tellin' me what offence I committed, I'm very likely to commit it again.  You see, if they were to tell me exactly what I did that was wrong, I could easily avoid doin' whatever it was again, in the future.  In fact, I would go out of my way to avoid doin' whatever it was.  But I don't know what I did and by not knowin', I'm likely to commit the very same offence again.  Not because I want to but rather, because no one at Facebook has had the decency to inform me of the laws I have broken. MOUSES!

The peeps at Facebook would likely say that they don't have time to respond to everyone's questions and whatnot on account of there bein' millions of Facebook users.  Yeah, yeah, yeah... Fact is, this whole situation could have been avoided if, when thrown into Facebook Jail, I had been given a reason right then and there.  And if the reasons for my arrest happened to be explained on my administration page, I would like to inform Facebook that my administration page disappeared when my fan page was last updated which, by the way, I did not ask anyone to do.  MOUSES!

Do they never watch television?  Have they never seen a peep bein' arrested on television?  The police tell the perpetrator exactly why he or she is bein' arrested at the same time they arrest them. Facebook should have done that for me.  Not knowin' what I had done or for how long I was gonna be punished made everythin' about my punishment ten times worse.  It made it almost unbearable.

I wanna thank all my pals for their undyin' love and support during this very tryin' time.  I could never have gotten through it without you all.  Knowin' you were missin' me is what got me through this whole thing.  Well, that and the nip. Peep #1 smuggled some extra nip rations in for me.  Oohhh...  it was excellent.

Some of you may feel that I'm sort of pushin' my luck by havin' written this post but I really think that this post needed to be written.  As you all know, I consider myself to be a bit of a reporter.  What do reporters do?  They report!  We investigative reportin' cats report the news and this, my friends, is news.  The truth must be told no matter what the cost.

Once more I say...   MOUSES!


  1. Well I sure am happy you are out of Facebook jail and those Facebook humans must have lots their only brain cell somewhere. If I happen to see it I will send it back to them...maybe!

  2. Nissy we're seeing all kinds of complaints about FB and we felt your pain when you were looking for answers on Twitter. We don't do too much on FB but it sure is a pain in the MOUSES isn't it?

  3. Whew! Thank Ceiling Cat you are outta that FB Jail. What a bunch of totally rude, rude, and even more rude behaviors...and from a species that was granted possession of THUMBS! MOUSES!! Give those thumbs back...everyone of you peeps at don't deserve them *whispers to Nissy...maybe you and I can distribute those returned thumbs to some feline pals and we can finally take over*

  4. Me too is glad that you are out from FB jail !
    YAY :)

  5. We are happy to hear you are out of FB jail!
    That place is getting flaky since they started selling shares :/
    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    Treasure and JJ

  6. Geez, I agree, Facebook could make things a lot clearer. Glad you're finally out of jail!

  7. The good thing is you're out of FB jail. The bad is not knowing why you ended up there in the first place. Despite asking politely. That's just plain rude.

  8. We're glad that the FB story ends with a happy end, and we hope that your post make them answer your questions ! Purrs

  9. thank the cats abd buns you're out of jail,must of been frustrating for you,xx Speedy

  10. HHHHMMMM Nerissa diz soundz bery bery interestin n bery disturbin n do ya finkz dem FB peepz nott want kittehz on dere purreshuss FARTBOOK?? Sowwy Mum butt Nerissa waz in jail n me iz nott a happy haz a rite to deefend me furend!! N me likez a guud swear too! ;)
    Me hopez ya getz an answer butt DO NOTT hold da breath Nerissa or ya cuud end up more blue denn me ;)
    We lubz ya n supportz ya fer shure.
    Yer furendz Nylablue n Sherriellen Mum x0x0x0x0

  11. I am glad you are out of jail too. There have been all kinds of problems going on and glad your are getting sorted

  12. Yikes Nissy, that was perplexing for you for sure...glad it is all working for you now! Hey, we saw your cool photo on the calendar on Friday! Hope all of you kitties are having a great weekend!

  13. WHAT in the world made them DO that? NO body knows!!! Shee4sh! I hope it never happens again!!!

  14. We're so glad you're outta FB jail, Nissy. But why the heck did they do that? We hope it never happens again.

  15. Glad you are free Nissy. Stupid FB, we never know what they will do next.

  16. Stoopid FB. We just mostly's too frustrating otherwise! We're glad you are FREE AT LAST!

  17. How dare they!!!!! I haven't been on Fb to much in the last couple days so I didn't realize this was happening!!! Crazy how they gave you no reason at all!!!!! Not fair!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

  18. Glad to hear you are finally free!!

  19. Well Nissy I do think there's a definite case to be made for unjust punishment by FB and purrrhaps even a bit of cruel and unusual treatment as well! You need an attorney - I see a BIG settlement in your future! We never have time to visit our FB pages - there's just not enough hours in the day - especially now that I'm a Cat Scout! Anyway, glad you're FREE (or at least reasonably cheap).....hehehe

    Hugs, Sammy

  20. Ooo I'm so far behind myself! I just turned over the page of the Cats of the CB Calendar from last Friday, and there you were! I could have been enjoying you all day. Such a cute picture.

  21. Nissy! What an outrage! Facebook are obviously working on the principle of least said, most dissatisfaction. I am glad you are out of clink now. In fact very relieved!!!

  22. Oh Nissy, that's horrid. I've heard rumblings lately about how FB is just deleting accounts of some anipals. I have no idea what the reason is, but they seem to want to do this about every 3 years. Very rude indeed!

  23. What! How unjust!
    Awful! Terrible! Nasty! Did I say Unjust
    We are not real big on the old FB but this turn give us paws!
    Glad you are back from whateva they had done to ya!

  24. That's terrible! I am glad you are out of FB jail now though.

  25. I am really happy that you are out of FB jail Nissy.
    This is ridiculous. FB is ruled like a "totalitarian regime". They do what they want. They even create new rules when it suits them....


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