Wednesday 30 April 2014

gotta stop eatin' cheese

Do I or don't I?  Hmmm...  No.  I shouldn't.   I turned my back to the plate of cheese on the kitchen counter. On the other paw...

Snatchin' a piece of cheese in my mouth, I jumped down from the counter before the peeps discovered I had been up there.

I set the piece of cheese down on the floor.  This was clearly a situation that necessitated a sober, second thought.

As a cat, thievery was not beneath me. No, a little thievery done in moderation was actually quite cat-like.  But the eating of cheese...  That was somethin' else, entirely.  I thought back to the cheese-snackin' induced dream I once had in which I met The Big Cheese himself, not to mention a whole bunch of other mice instructin' me on the plural form of mouse.  MOUSES!  Dare I risk another dream like that?  

Do I?  Don't I?  Hmmm...    Don't I?  Do I?  Well...  it was a very intererestin' dream...

I scarfed down the piece of cheese, washed my face with a paw and trotted back into the family room, settling in for a little nap.

It wasn't long before I sensed a pair of eyes watchin' me.  I opened one eye of my own and saw, starin' back at me, a mouse.  MOUSES!

"Er-hrm...   Nerissa?  Nerissa the Cat, Sir?  Remember me?  We met a few months ago.  M1 is the name," and the mouse extended a paw.  "We're in need of your assistance, once more."

I got up and followed the mouse into that great, red hall just as I had in my dream, once before. "The Great Canadian Cheese Conspiracy not settled, yet?" I asked the mouse.

"Actually, no," admitted little M1.  "The Royal Canadian Mouseland Police are still investigating that but we have another issue at paw.  An even greater one than before.  The very fabric of our society is at risk!"

"MOUSES!" I cried.

As I expected I would, I heard a small voice, echoing within the chamber, "Mice.  The plural of mouse, is mice."  Those darned grammar mice, I thought.

I stared at the many mice before me, looking for the one they called The Big Cheese.  Sure enough, there he was, chowing down on a chunk of Gorgonzola.  The ripe aroma tickled my nose and I sneezed.  Gosh that was stinky stuff.

As in my previous dream with the mice, the details at paw mysteriously and magically appeared in my mind.  I immediately knew of the troubles facing The Big Cheese and the mice working in the great hall.  I sat down, lifted a leg and began to wash my tail-end.

Finished with my washing, I looked around at the mice.  They all stared back at me with the exception of The Big Cheese who was still eating his Gorgonzola.  Finally, he looked up at me with those steely blue eyes.  "It's you," he said.

"Yes, it is I," I replied.  "Causing trouble once more, are we?"

The Big Cheese narrowed his eyes.  "It is not I making the trouble.  It's the mice.  Mice across the the land are complaining.  I keep telling them what they think but they're not listening.  Instead, they're complaining," he explained.

"Umm....  yeah....  'bout that," I began. "Let me just get this straight.  As the Big Cheese, you're expected to appoint mice to the Canadian Cheese Consortium, making sure there are always one hundred and five mice at any one time, correct?"  I waved away his response, "Don't bother answering 'til I finish.  You've been makin' appointments to the Consortium but at the very same time, you've been questioning the need for the Consortium in the first place, correct?  You've actually been tellin' the mice of the land that none of them want the Consortium, either.  And yet you continue to appoint appointees, most of whom appear to be your friends."

I stared pointedly at The Big Cheese, waitin' for a response.  He just sat there, eatin' more stinky cheese.

"Okay...." I began once more.  "From what I understand, the appointees to the Canadian Cheese Consortium are supposed to represent the various types of cheese bein' manufactured, sold and eaten by mice throughout the land.  They're supposed to represent the hard, semi-hard, semi-soft and soft cheese divisions, equally.  The Consortium was designed in this manner over a century ago to make sure that all types of cheese manufactured were bein' treated fairly and equally.  So that the most popular types didn't take over the whole Consortium, wreakin' havoc across Mouseland."

The Big Cheese continued to eat his stinky cheese.

"Yes, yes!" the other mice piped up in unison.  "That's how it works, exactly.  We can't have one cheese division takin' over the entire Consortium.  The only way to safeguard the rights of the less-eaten cheeses, is to allow them equal representation in the Consortium!"

The Big Cheese stopped chewin' on his cheese and glared at the mice around him.  "I get to appoint whomever I like to the Consortium.  I'M THE BIG CHEESE.  If I want to appoint all Gorgonzola lovers to the Consortium, I'm allowed to do just that.  It's kind of a tradition."

"Ah yes," I interrupted, "but you're havin' troubles with the Cheddar and Mozzarella factions, are you not?"

"Only because I haven't yet appointed enough of the Gorgonzolas!" cried The Big Cheese.

"MOUSES!  Can't you see what's wrong?" I asked The Big Cheese.  "First of all, you can't go around tellin' all the other mice what they think.  That's gonna cause nothin' but trouble."

"Secondly," I continued, "You have factions within the Consortium who appear to be workin' in ways they shouldn't be workin'.  The appointees are supposed to be representin' the various divisions of cheese.  They are NOT supposed to be representin' you!  And yet you continue to appoint Gorgonzola lovers to the Consortium, knowin' full well you're only appointin' your pals 'cause they all love Gorgonzola like you!"

"But that's what has always been done," and for just a moment, I thought I saw The Big Cheese falter.


"Luckily for you,"  I told The Big Cheese, "I have a solution.  Why don't you let the leaders of each cheese division choose whom you should appoint.  They know best who would be able to represent them.  Ask them for suggestions and then you appoint whomever they suggest.  I'm sure there will be some Gorgonzola lovers in the bunch but there will also be some Cheddar and Mozzarella lovers, too.  You'll have a nice balance and they'll be representin' the mice they're supposed to represent. What's more, if there any problems," I added in a low voice, "you can always pawn the blame off on the divisional mice who made the suggestions."

"But if I don't appoint my friends to the Consortium, how can I guarantee that they'll do what I tell them to do?" asked The Big Cheese.

"Well...  Well you can't but really, that's the whole point of my suggestion," I answered with a sigh.

The Big Cheese stuffed another chunk of Gorgonzola into his mouth and with a cheese-chewin' muffled voice said, "THAT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME AT ALL."

With a cry of frustration I yelled, "MOUSES!"

I turned to the other mice and explained, "I'm afraid I can't do anythin' with him.  He's just not listenin'."

"Watch what you're saying there, cat," growled The Big Cheese.

I have got to stop eatin' cheese, I thought to myself.  Any more cheese-induced dreams like this and I'll drive myself silly.  MOUSES!

Awaking with a start I thought I heard a small voice off in the distance sayin', "Mice.  The plural form of mouse, is mice."



  1. What a grrrrreat Cheezie storey Nerrisa....ya iz such a grreat riter of da dreemz n storeez...
    N we sayz Mousiez here too ;)
    Lub Nylablue n Sherriellen Mum too xoxoxo

  2. Oh, don't stop eating that cheese cause I hear it's good! Hey, did y'all get my email about sharing Scuttles on twitter?

  3. Hey, if ya wanna stop eatin cheese, ya can sends it to me. I don't mind mousey dreams.

  4. dood...nothin cheez zee bout yur storee...we loves it !! hope when ya go bak ta sleep ya haz de..... ta bee continued cheeze storee.... dreem

    we iz veree anxious ta find out but parmesan & colby :) !!!! ♥♥♥

  5. Only in Canada,eh!
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxx

  6. Gee! That is quite the dream you have from cheese :o
    Maybe we need to eat more.
    So far,JJ is the "big cheese" lover ,heehee
    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    Treasure, JJ
    and Angels Tiger and Tillie

  7. Oh Nissy you just need to give the Big Cheese a good ear boxing!

  8. Wow, that is one serious cheese-induced dream, Nissy! Maybe we need to eat a little more...

  9. Cheese is a very important topic that should be visited by more blogs. :) I hope that the Big Cheese was able to successfully resolve his dilemma.

  10. BOL!!!! Dangerously cheesy!!!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

  11. Vewy cute. Hope yous hav a Pawsum week!1 ☺

    Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses ♥♥♥


  12. The cheese you ate gave you an amazing dream. We love cheese, especially cheddar and mozzarella. We can't lose them.

  13. Charlie would love to eat cheese (except he's not allowed it, cause it makes him sick)

  14. Our boys get cheese when the in-laws stay and the dad sneaks them some even though we tell him not too. Just no telling some people :-)

  15. Gosh.....Nissy I had no idea that cheese could cause such interesting hallucinations! But one thing is FOR SURE.....the plural of mouse is certainly not "mice"......we all know the rip-roaring truth - thanks to you - that the plural of mouse is definitely MOUSES!

    Hugs, Sammy

  16. MOL! Just what are they lacing your cheese with??? I wonder if my cheese head Star has dreams like that.. I'll have to ask her

  17. Our daddy belonged to an organization that worked just like that. he's glad to be out of it. We suspect your humans might have had similar experiences with your personal knowledge and insightfulness. Mouses! We have a mousey post today, AGAIN! XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  18. We see a strange coincidence with the Big Cheese and our Senate and House here in the great old USA. Yes the big cheese eaters are...
    WAIT a fur-balled second there Nissy!
    Is that there large bodies mouse actually a Rat in mouse clothing?

    1. Well.... The very first time that I met The Big Cheese? I did happen to notice he had a particularly long tail for a mouse. MOUSES!

  19. oh my Nissy; that is some kind'a imagination you have going there when you eat cheese, then nap...and dream...whoa! Not a good combo for you buddy. And I did wonder if the plural might just really be "Mices"...has a nice ring to it, huh? *pads off humminng..mices! mices! mices!...I'm likin' the sound of this...heh...heh*

  20. Hehehehe maybe you should be the big cheese Nissy,xx Speedy


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