Love your kitties for they're worth their weight in gold. Yes, even the two tonne tessie marmalade brother ones. It's a lot of weight. It's a lot of gold! But still, please... love your kitties for they're worth it, for sure.
So Valentine's Day is comin' up. Everyone out there know about that? The day when peeps give one another flowers and candy and pretty sparkly bling-like things. It's also the day when peeps give their kitties nip-filled toys, nip plants and extra treats and whatnot. Everybody out there know about that?
I read somewhere 'bout how this Valentine's Day was named 'cause of some Saint named Valentine or Valentinus or somethin' or other. Kind of sounded like there might be more than one dude out there with the same or similar name. And I found mention that some of this Saint's stuff was kept for a while at the catacombs of San Valentino in Rome. Catacombs... CATacombs. Clearly, St. Valentine's Day should be more cat based than it is. There really should be more nip involvement, if you know what I mean.
Anywho... nowadays Valentine's Day is all about love. Everywhere you look there are hearts and cupids and all sorts of things symbolising love. That's why, on St. Valentine's Day of all days, you should be lovin' your kitties up.
Personally, I've devised a schedule for my peeps for February 14th. We're gonna start with a breakfast including extra Fancy Feast 'cause you know... I do love my Fancy Feast.
After breakkies, we're gonna have some play time. We cats got a lot of toys at Christmas, some of which we've barely touched. Time to try out the new Cat Dancers, for sure. I have noted on my schedule that special attention should be paid to any toys that include cat - peep interaction like wand toys, dancers and teasers. I've scheduled Peep #1 for an hour of actually playin' with me and not just tossin' me a bag full of nip.
But don't you worry, there will be nip. I suspect that after an hour of chasin' a mouse on a string, I'm gonna be pretty worn out. Nothin' like a little nap with my head gently restin' on a nippafied biff bag. I've allotted two, half hour slots for just such an activity.
While I'm nappin', the peeps can wrap my prezzies. I'm expecting some prezzies. I'm hopin' for some prezzies. Maybe a new nip toy? Perhaps a nip plant? Oohhh... maybe some shares in a nip farm, complete with samples of the nip, of course.
That's the mornin' taken care of and, I suspect, the afternoon will be pretty much the same. All in all, Valentine's Day is shapin' up quite nicely. I'm lookin' forward to it, for sure.
Now you're probably all wonderin' what I'm gonna give the peeps for Valentine's Day. Got that covered.
As I mentioned earlier, Valentine's Day is all about love. That makes it all about hearts and that, my friends, makes Valentine's Day all about purrs. PURRS! Yes, purrs.
Did you know that a cat's purr can heal a human heart? It's true! I read all about it on the Internet. Well actually, I was simply confirmin' what I already knew. I've read about it before in magazines and whatnot and, quite honestly, this is one of the things we cats are born knowin'. It's a fact.
The purrs of a cat are known to be medically therapeutic. Purrs vibrate in the range of 20 to 140 Hz which is known to benefit cats and peeps, medically.
Purrin' cats can heal both bone and soft tissue. In fact, there's even an old veterinary adage that says, "If you put a cat and a bunch of broken bones in the same room, the bones will heal." I didn't make that up. No sirree... found it on the Internet on several sites. Apparently, doctors have been sayin' this for quite some time.
But what about the heart? After all, it is Valentine's Day we're talkin' about here. Can a cat's purr really heal a peep's heart? You bet. The purrin' of a cat has been known to lower blood pressure and stress. Purrs can also help heal infections and swelling. All of these things, I think, can affect the human heart. In fact, there was even a study somewhere that found that peeps livin' with cats are forty percent less likely to have a heart attack. MOUSES! We cats are like medical geniuses with our purrs. Hope you all knew about that.
Then, of course, there's the fact that we cats simply fill our peeps' hearts with love. Love that bursts at the seams. You cats out there have all witnessed this, I am sure. Your peep takes a look at you nappin' or playin' or just... you know... breathin'... and the next thing you hear are the oohs and ahhs 'cause we're just so irresistibly cute and adorable and, quite simply, we take our peeps' breath away. We're that cute. Yes indeedy, we are.
Anywho... that's what I'm plannin' on givin' the peeps for St. Valentine's Day. I'm gonna purr for 'em. I'm gonna purr and purr and purr and then, after all that purrin', I'm gonna purr some more.
My brother Seville also has a gift for the peeps. He's gonna revise his role as poet and recite that ol' poem he wrote for the peep a couple of years ago after his first bout with the crystals. Remember that poem Sivvers wrote? No? Oh. Well... it was called Easy Peasy and went somethin' like this...
The more I drink,
the more I pee.
The more I pee,
the easier it be.
That's the key!
And then, if I remember correctly, he peed on the peep. Yup, it's true. I'm thinkin' that Seville hasn't quite yet grasped the whole St. Valentine's Day gift givin' thing.
HAPPY ST. VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL!