little glass houses

People who live in little glass houses really shouldn't be throwin' stones...  or somethin' like that.

Hmmm...  little glass houses.  I don't know anyone who lives in a little glass house.  Not a real glass house, anyway.  Most houses 'round here are constructed from wood and stone and bricks and whatnot.  The only parts made from glass are the windows.  Oh, and there are probably some glasses in the cupboards and maybe on the peeps' noses but that's not the same as bein' a house made from glass, I should think.

Of course, plants sometimes live in glass houses.  My peep sure would like a proper glass house for her plants.  But even those are sometimes made from things other than glass these days.  And who would ever dare throw a stone at a house filled with plants?  Why, that would just be rude.  It would be mean, too.  Especially if those plants got all frosted and killed 'cause of those stones and all that broken glass.

Anywho...  I'm really bloggin' about a different kind of glass house today.  I'm bloggin' about a metaphorical glass house which, ironically, contains no actual glass.  MOUSES!

I'm bloggin' about the metaphorical glass house in which my stalker, Mr. Anonymous Spam, lives.  Yeah...  ol' spammy spam-spam is back.

Mr. Anonymous Spam has been leavin' a bunch of comments on my blog again.  The other day, there were three or four of the things.  A couple more, the day before that, too.  But a month or more ago, he left a real doozy of a comment.  It was such a doozy, I wrote it down and saved it 'cause I just knew I would wanna blog about it sometime.  Well, my friends, that sometime has arrived.

A month or so ago, I awoke to find this...  this...  this comment awaitin' moderation on my blog.  Ol' Mr. Spammy wrote, "of course like your web site but you have to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts.  A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome to inform the reality on the other hand I'll certainly come back again.  Visit my web-site:  couponing"

Yup, that's just what that ol' spammer guy wrote.  I didn't change a thing except for removing his website address.  Didn't think I needed that.  Didn't want it, either.

Well Mr. Spam, I have news for you!  First of all, let's talk about the issue of the spellin'.  Hmmm...  you're not perfect, you know.  You're not perfect at all.  For instance, I believe you spelled the word "to" incorrectly.  I think you actually meant, too, although to be honest, I'm not positive 'cause quite frankly, your comment didn't make a whole lot of sense.  Your problems appear to go way beyond that of issues with spelling.

You find it troublesome to inform me the reality of what?  The reality of all my spellin' mistakes?  I wasn't quite sure 'cause you didn't really specify what that what was.  I had to guess.  And I assume it is you who likes my blog although you never really said.  Again, I was left guessin'. 

And a comma or two might come in handy there, you ol' spammy spammer.  A few commas might make it easier for cats and peeps to understand what you're actually tryin' to say.  I have to admit, my punctuation is never perfect but that's 'cause I like to use a colloquial style of writing.  My very own colloquial style.  That's why I sometimes use punctuation that might be frowned upon by a grammar professor at Oxford or Cambridge or someplace like that but that's just my style.  And, I like to start sentences with "and" and "but" a lot, too.  But I try to do it sparingly.  And only when it fits in with my style.  Actually, that last and and but were somewhat gratuitous.  They really weren't warranted.  I could have rolled that all into one sentence but I was tryin' to give you an example, Mr. Spam.  Yes, indeedy, I was.

All I can say is this...  at least MY blog makes sense...  sort of...   well, most of the time.  MOUSES!

But back to the spellin'.  I've said it before and I'll say it again...  a lot of the words I use on my blog are not yet found in spell checks and dictionaries and whatnot.  That's not my fault.  It's not my fault that the dictionary writers have not kept up with the my latest inventions.  That's right...  I invent words.  I invent 'em all the time.  That's what we innovative writer types do.  When there isn't an appropriate word available, we invent one to suit the occasion.  Not my fault the dictionary peeps can't keep up.  Not my fault at all.

And let me just remind you that the inventor of the word always determines the spellin' of said word.  It's a fact.  I should know.  I should know 'cause I am an inventor of words.

Perhaps Mr. Spam, it is the dictionary peeps to whom you should be sendin' your comments.  Perhaps you could offer them a coupon or two for some of my newly made-up words.  Or perhaps you could take advantage of some of those coupons yourself.  Do you happen to have any coupons for books on the subject of grammar?   Just wonderin'.  Just thinkin' you could use one.  Just suggestin' it might be an good idea.  'Nough said.

MOUSES!