...And for mouses' sake, think before you snip.
So I'm sitting in my office the other day, minding my own business and havin' a little nap at the computer, when I hear a bunch of stompin' and door slammin'. Peep #1 comes storming into my office, grumbling about something. Grumble this... grumble that... At first, I thought she might have been workin' on an audition piece for Grumpy Cat but quickly realised, she doesn't have the necessary tail for that role. Doesn't have the whiskers, either.
The first peep was in a right ol' mood. I had to make a decision. Do I hop up onto her lap and provide a little comfort or do I cover my ears with my paws and hope for the best? I chose the latter, of course. But she went on and on and on. What a pain in the tail that peep can be. Finally, I decided to hop up onto her lap after all and let her tell me what ailed her.
Apparently, the second peep had been let loose with the secateurs. Let loose in the garden. History tells us that this could not possibly be good news. The second peep knows nothing 'bout nothing when it comes to the garden. Why peep #1 left the secateurs in plain sight of the second peep is beyond me. Just askin' for trouble, that was. MOUSES!
Well ol' peepers had this plant out by the back door. Please note the word had.
She didn't plant it there. It grew all on its own. Yes, this pretty little British wildflower called agrimony had taken root all by itself. The peep was super happy about this because where she had planted agrimony, agrimony hadn't grown. She had planted some in the front yard but of all the ones she planted, only one had survived and it was lookin' kind of on the straggly side. Lookin' pretty sad, if I say so myself. Still is, in fact.
But out of nowhere appeared this little guy by the back door. Peep thinks a seed must have dropped or something when she was starting the plants 'cause it quite literally, appeared out of nowhere. It appeared just like magic which is weird cause the peep is not a magician. She doesn't have a black hat or a cloak or a bunny or anything. Not even a magic wand.
Anywho... this plant by the back door grew to be big and strong and healthy and started to bloom. Ol' peepers checked on it every day. She was so happy 'bout this plant growing there. She was gonna collect the seed from it when it was ready so that she could plant up some more for the front yard since the only one growin' there was all sad and straggly lookin'.
Well you know what they say 'bout best laid plans. They say, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Actually, they say, "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft a-gley." Well, when I say they I really mean Robert Burns but what did this Burns character know, anyway? I mean... the guy wrote a poem to a mouse. MOUSES!
On the other paw, he practically wrote the book on what was gonna happen with this plan of the first peep and the lettin' loose with the secateurs of the second. So I guess Mr. Burns must have known something! Actually, it was kind of like he was seeing into the future. Wow. Hope he wasn't makin' any plans 'cause... well... you know.
Anywho... long story short... the plant is no more. Well, it's still there but it has no flowers. Peep #2 cut the flower stalks right down to the ground. Again I say, MOUSES!
So I let peep #1 tell me all about her little plant and then I asked her about the important stuff. The important stuff like, has peep #2 been anywhere near my nip? Then I remembered, oh yeah... peep #1 totally screwed up the growin' of my nip, this year. Seriously, I have got to get myself some new peeps.
I said to the peep, "Calm down. First things first... HIDE THE SECATEURS." Then I watched as she tucked them safely away in a drawer in my office. Peep #2 will never find them there. They're in a secret spot that only the first peep and I know. Then I said, "Go get my brother Rushton. I have to tell him something. It's important." The peep obediently, obeyed.
"Rushton, my man," I said. "Don't let peep #2 anywhere near that mat of yours on your tummy. You know the one. The one you haven't allowed peep #1 to remove? The one that you won't let ol' peepers near with the comb? Yeah... that would be it. Well you had better let her remove it now 'cause if that second peep of ours sees it, more than the mat might get removed, if you know what I mean. Peep #2 has been accused, tried and convicted of snippin' without thinkin' and you don't want a peep like that anywhere near you. At least not when you're sportin' a mat."