So the other day, total chaos erupted in my house. And when I say total, I mean total. And when I say erupted, I mean ERUPTED. For a moment there, I thought Mount Vesuvius was gonna blow its top or something.
"THERE'S A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE!" Yup, that's what I heard.
I, of course, was in the livin' room, still under house arrest and therefore did not get to witness the events first hand. I have, however, interviewed all those who did witness the catastrophe of catastrophic proportions and even those who might be considered persons of interest. Or in this case, cats of interest. Actually, there's no big mystery here. No mystery at all. Everyone has fessed up to what they did or did not do and no one is denying a thing.
From what I understand, my sister Constance appeared at the kitchen window and very nonchalantly, waltzed in with something in her mouth. Peep #2 was witness to this event but, I am told, thought nothing of it at the time. Why, I don't know. I mean... when one sees a cat walkin' around with something in his or her mouth, one might want to investigate further. Especially if that cat happens to be my sister Constance. Connie, you see, is an habitual snaker. Yup. Peep #1 is always rescuing garden snakes from Connie. She thinks they're toys or something. Connie, I mean. The peep doesn't think snakes are toys. The peep feels sorry for the snakes and, like I said, rescues them.
Some time passed. Exactly how much, I do not know. As I was being held hostage in the living room, it felt like an eternity, I am sure. Everything feels like an eternity when being held hostage in the living room.
Connie was then spotted nosing around the door leading to the basement. There were a couple of bags of papers gettin' ready to head downstairs for the purposes of recycling. They were leanin' up against the wall and Connie was stickin' her nose in between them. Obviously, there was something there of interest. It could have been a toy, perhaps. We cats do tend to have toys scattered around the house. Peep #2 noticed the odd behaviour on Connie's part but, again, thought nothing of it.
Peep #2 really needs to start thinking more about what is going on in this house. There is evidence of illegal activity all around and the second peep never seems to do anything about it until it's too late. I mean... this could have been really serious stuff. Constance could have had one of my pens from my pen collection. She might have managed to get one of my pens from my pen collection out from underneath the refrigerator and bat it all the way over to the doorway. One of my precious pens! The door leadin' to the basement and the refrigerator are only a few feet apart and I, being locked in the living room for eons upon eons, have not been able to inspect my collection or guard it from potential cat burglars such as my siblings. I shudder at the thought of what could have happened.
Anywho... eventually, the second peep must have become curious regarding Connie's odd behaviour and decided to check things out. That would be about the time when I heard, "THERE'S A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE!"
So, as usual, it was Peep #1 to the rescue. The first peep is the rescuer of all things needin' rescuing in this house. It's just the way things work, I suppose, although I, myself, seriously need some rescuing from this darned living room and would appreciate it if the first peep would do something about rescuing me! I mean... I've been stuck in here for the last millennium or so and she has had plenty of time break me out of my jail cell and yet, here in this cell, I still am. MOUSES!
But I digress...
Peep #1 emptied out the little garbage can in the downstairs bathroom and headed over to the door leadin' to the basement. She put the garbage can on it's side before pulling out one of those bags of papers for recycling. There, behind the bag, she found the mouse. The first peep used her paws to encourage the mouse to go into the plastic can. In less than five minutes, she had the mouse in the garbage can and was heading outdoors.
I do want to mention that although the peep used the garbage can to catch the mouse, in no way did she consider the mouse to be garbage. The can was simply used as a transportation device to take the mouse outside for its release back into the wild. Release... RELEASE... How I long to be released from the captivity of the living room!
Peepers probably took the mouse over to the brush pile or perhaps the compost. She never said where. Didn't want us cats headin' over for a second go at the little critter. She could have told me, though. It's not like I can go find the little guy. I'm still locked up behind bars in the living room.
Ol' peepers said the mouse was fine. A little slobbered over but fine. The little guy scampered away when he realized he was, once again, free. Free... Freedom... Lucky mouse. I haven't tasted freedom in what seems like centuries...
For at least half an hour after the incident, Constance was still nosin' about around the door leading to the basement. She was looking for her mouse. She just doesn't understand...
Obviously, Connie doesn't understand that once the peep takes a mouse outside, the mouse can no longer be found in the house.
But more importantly, Constance doesn't seem to understand the whole concept of mousing. I mean... cats catch mice all the time. For some cats, mousing is our job. Usually, what happens is that there already is a mouse in the house and the cat's job is to catch that mouse and remove it from the house. Remove it from the house. Connie was doing stuff backwards. Apparently, she's a backwards mouser. Connie brought the mouse into the house. What she was gonna do with, I do not know. Maybe she was gonna have him over for tea and sandwiches or something. I just don't know. And Connie just doesn't